Stephan Speaks
speaker
257 appearances
3 recordings
2 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard May 2025
Stephan Speaks’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
That doesn't mean you qualify for a relationship. And someone can love you or you can love someone. But if certain things aren't in place to have a successful relationship it still won't work. So, we have to understand that a breakup doesn't automatically mean someone doesn't love you nor does someone want to be in a relationship with you mean that they love you.
Because a man or woman who wants to use you could want to be in a relationship with you could want to marry you it has nothing to do with love it's two separate things, all right. Now, with that understood what we have to understand when we're going through a breakup is One, all is not lost.
Like, we got to start there because it's so easy to feel like our whole world is now crumbling before our eyes. We're devastated how are we going to get past this? And it's like listen, all is not lost. There's been billions of people who have gone through a breakup and who have survived. But who all felt like in that moment they don't know how they're going to continue, okay.
We have to remember this is just a moment. Life is about moments, all right. If you let the moment get the best of you it can throw everything off. But when you can conquer that moment you're on the right track you can keep moving forward in a good direction. So, keep that in perspective but of course that's hard to do when you're still going through the breakup.
I also think going back to the point that I made is stop questioning if they love you, okay. Because that I think is what weighs on some people the most. It's like I gave them all this time and energy all these years and they didn't even love me it's like no, no, no, no. they could have still loved you, but there's another issue that exists here.
And what people... This goes back to unfortunately, I understand because I'm a coach and I've spoken to thousands of people and I've seen millions of situations. How much different issues play into why people do what they do, okay.
But everyone is so used to the very surface level perspective of well, okay, if for example, if this person breaks up and they jump into a new relationship where clearly they never loved you. That's not true. Some people do that because they love you so much and they can't deal with the pain and they figure I need someone to distract me from this. So, they don't love the new person
Okay, now granted could it be the other way around that they never loved you? That is possible, that is possible. But it isn't always what you think it is, all right. So, trying to dwell on and question if they love me it's not healthy because one, we cannot prove or disprove it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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So, just keep pushing forward, keep doing what you need to do, continue to be open to whatever you need to improve upon. Never get in a mindset of well, I'm great and the world is just ridiculous. It's like no, no, no. What can I continue to do better? What can I tweak? What adjustments can I make? Because sometimes it is a matter of a small adjustment that will make a huge difference.
And I think as long as you keep an open mind and you don't view not having the result right now as a defeat, right? You understand this is a process, you will get to your destination at some point.
Just go to my site, Stefan Speak Shop or my YouTube, you know, check me out. Hopefully I can connect with more and more people and just help as many people as possible. Find love and find just a better overall life. It's not just about relationship or at least it starts relationship with self, you know, and getting that right and everything else falling in place. Well, for me, self and God.
The School of Greatness · Safe Relationship Choices Often Lead to Unfulfillment · 31 Jan 2025
podcast
All right, so number one, lack of healing. Lack of healing because lack of healing probably leads them to choosing the wrong person to begin with. which is the foundation for disaster because at that point everything else I'm about to mention you can't really work it out with this person because you're just not in alignment with them it's not a good fit.
And so, a lot of people are trying to make things work with someone they just can't match up with properly, you know. Is that trauma bonding or what is that? How is that playing a part?
Some of it is trauma bonding some of it is individual... So, what's happening is this phenomena if you want to call it that people are choosing individuals that are quote, unquote good enough to be with but they don't really make them feel deeply about them. Because if I'm a man or a woman and I've been hurt before and I've been hurt when I let my heart out completely I fear being that vulnerable.
So, now You don't really ever learn how to not feel deeply about someone if they're just that person but people learn who I can deal with and not fall deeply for. So, okay, I can be with this person and maintain emotional control they don't take me there so I don't ever feel like I'm too vulnerable in this situation. Do you think a lot of women choose the safe guy as opposed to the right guy?
Absolutely and the safe choice is almost always if not always the wrong choice. Oh, man. Why is a safe choice always the wrong choice for a woman? So, think about it in order for it to be safe it means you are not deeply invested. You may be invested it may be deep compared to certain people's perceptions of deep but it's not as deep as you know you can go.
Showing 201–220 of 257 · page 11 of 13
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