Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
KDWB.
Well, happy Monday. It's KDWB. The Vikings won.
No, they didn't. They did not win.
This shows you the Packers play tonight. I know that one. They do play tonight. This is what I've done on Sunday. I don't watch football on Sunday anymore. And you know what it's done for me? Yeah. It's freed up my Sunday. Yeah. So now I've got Sundays free. If you're a Vikings fan, you had a terrible day yesterday because they lost to Baltimore.
Mm-hmm.
I didn't care because I was doing other things.
Napping.
No, I didn't take a nap. The girls were over yesterday. Oh, right. So the girls came over. We made pottery. We played a new game, a game called Hurry Up Chicken Butt, which is on my radar this week.
Hilarious.
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Chapter 2: What are the funniest moments from the game Hurry Up Chicken Butt?
Yeah, they lost.
Don't care. Yeah. Don't care. We know.
You opened the saying the Vikings won.
It's like giving up cigarettes. I don't care. I don't use them anymore. You miss them. You miss cigarettes. You miss those little cans of sticks. Let me just tell you something. If I could have a cigarette like right now, I would have one. Yeah, we know.
But it wouldn't cause you to like buy a pack and start chain smoking.
No, it would because I've been down that road before. It's like, I'm just going to have one. Come on, give me one cigarette. Next thing you know, I'm over at the holiday station store going, yeah, I'll have a pack of Marlboro Lights. We had, Bailey had a date. Yeah. So really quick. Okay. Tell me about your date on Friday night that we're going to get to Cindy, Jenny's mom's date.
I had a date with a guy I met on Hinge on Friday at Lake Monster Brewing. I was nervous and he was nervous too. So we weren't both nervous, but it was nice. He was funny and he was really cute. He's got these cute little cheeks. So when he smiles, his like cute little apples of his cheeks are like really sweet. Okay. And yeah, I hugged him at the end. He's also like 6'3".
Oh, a little tall drink of water. And he had like a little pea coat on. And that was so cute. Pea culture fly.
How long did the date last?
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Chapter 3: What does Momma Cindy share about her dating life?
Here we go.
Hello, gorgeous.
Hey, good morning, everybody.
Chapter 4: How did Bailey's date go on Friday night?
Good morning, Cindy. Cindy is Jenny's mama, and she's been single for a while, but she met a guy somewhere a few months ago. Did you have a date this weekend, Cindy?
Well, first of all, Bailey, way to go. Congratulations. Thank you, Cindy. Man, you know, it wasn't a date per se. It was come on over. He offered to come over and help me clean up my garage. That was our date.
Now, that's very sweet because that's that's code word for let's clean up the garage and then let's go inside and have a couple of glasses of Chardonnay afterward and then put my head like, you know, like rest my head on your lap. So tell me, how did everything go?
Well, that's the funny part because there's a lot going on in his life right now, some personal issues. And he texted me this week and he says, you know, I'm so sorry for the time inconvenience with his words. And I said...
oh it's fine you know there's just a lot of things going on so anyway he was going to go duck hunting and leave at five o'clock and i said that's fine i said come over i'll make you lunch made him lunch we went back outside and we you know got the patio table into the garage and he goes one didn't really do much i said well i i do need shelving put up in the garage and you know and so you could see the wheels turning in his head yeah so anyway that's well maybe future and then he says
And then, you know, things are a little in the garage. And he's like, well, how about you go in the house now that thing cleaned up in one hour, and then I'll be right in. I said, no, you're leaving, and that ain't going to happen. You know, you're leaving.
You're leaving. So anyway. Wait, so he told you to go in the house to what, prepare yourself for a bunch of sex?
Like go take a shower and shave your legs and all this stuff.
I said, I'm dirty. I had dirt as a toe. Anyway, and he was dirty.
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Chapter 5: What inventions are pitched in the Dave Tank segment?
At this point in my life, I know what my expectations are. And it's not like I'm going to play a game. But it's okay to just say, you know, another week. Another week, okay. So, yeah, oh, next Monday should be phenomenal. But what I'm saying is, Everybody, don't jump in. And the thing is, I'm getting really positive responses and caring. And we laughed so hard in the garage. I love that.
I think that's one of the most important things, if you laugh together.
Yeah, we laughed. He did offer to bring over a screwdriver to help. And a hammer. And a hammer. He's like, do you need me to bring a hammer or a screwdriver? Which was a sexual innuendo on his part. Oh, there was another bad line, but I can't repeat that because I'm not that person.
Yes, you can.
You should say it, Mom.
No, no, no, no. Do you know what it was? I don't know what it was. I want to hear it.
I do know, however. It was back in my text, and I can't remember what it was. Well, I'll tell you what she said in the text. The group family chat is my brother-in-law goes, Cindy, does he know that your entire relationship is getting aired on KDWB to thousands of people? And she says, no, he doesn't. But I think after a good night in bed, I will tell him, LOL. I'm like, yeah.
Cindy, we wish we could talk longer, but unfortunately the clock is against us. But good luck with your man. We'll talk to you again soon, okay?
Okay.
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Chapter 6: How does the Bitter Ex-Girlfriend segment work?
heats up a pre-measured amount of queso, delicious queso, in the car cup holder. You provide your own chips, Dorito scoops are what I recommend. Tostito scoops. Okay, toast, taste, thank you, you're right. And then when the queso car cup heats up your queso, It turns green.
You pop it open, and then you dip your Tostitos scoops into the Queso Car Cup while you slowly make your way down 494 to Highway 77. That sounds lovely. Queso Car Cup, that is my invention. Ooh, can I go? Go ahead, Vaughn.
Yeah. So you remember those pens that they used to have where you'd push down one of the ends, it'd be multiple colors? Sure do, yeah. Well, we have an upgrade now. Finally, however many years in the future, it's that same thing but with a Sharpie. Because you need your red Sharpie, your green Sharpie, your blue Sharpie. So we'll call it the multicolored Sharpie.
And it has like six different colors on it.
Okay, I like that. Now you'll call in 651-989-KDWB. You'll tell us about your invention. I will choose the best fictional invention and give you $20 to invest in it.
Wow. That's exciting. Jenny, you said you have one? Yeah, my invention is basically it's going to copy exactly what those TSA machines are where you walk in and you put your arms over your body like at the top of your head. Yeah. So it does like a full body scan real quick to see what pain you have. And as soon as it scans you, you put your arms down.
It does a little and then it heals whatever pain you have. Wow. So this is the Body Healer 3000. The Body Healer 3000. For everyone 30 years and older. Yes. If there's an age requirement on it, you must be 30 plus. Okay. Or not. These are not for the young ones. Okay, these are for all of us old people who can't wake up without a crick in our neck now.
The old people, yes, that are 35. Okay, Bailey, have you got a Shark Tank invention? Oh, sure, yeah. Pitch it.
This one is going to be called the Wah-Wah Baby. So when your child and or pet starts to cry and needs something, it's going to scan what it is that they need because they can't speak English yet. And it'll go... Wah, wah, baby, I want to go outside. Wah, wah, baby, I need to change my diaper. And so you don't have to suss out exactly what your child and or pet needs.
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Chapter 7: What are the highlights from the Dirt segment?
That's what I'm saying, Jay.
I'm trying to be young and hip. Young and hip.
What? We got a bunch of text messages about this one. There is no age-appropriate hair length. Wear what you want. Emma sucks. Emma, watch your own bobber. Someone says Emma sounds bald. You are not bald. I'm sure they'd be like, okay, Emma, how old are you?
I'm in my late 20s.
Okay, how long is your hair?
My hair is past my boobs, too.
Okay, but you're young enough, you can still pull it off, while Jenny, the old crone over here, she needs to cut it into very practical, maybe some tight curls like your Aunt Ethel has.
Yes. Yes. Tight curls. Jenny, I think you should have some golden girls hair. Nope.
Not going to. Somebody else on the phone. This is Maggie. Hi, Maggie.
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