Tom's Dad STOLE Dynamite & BLEW UP A Bridge w/ Barstool Big Cat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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What funny stories do they share from Chicago?
Part of the idea of this podcast is how you can become successful as living as just a regular human. I went to culinary school and I only went for a few months and I dropped out.
Look at that, kids. You can drop out of culinary school and get two Michelin stars.
I do what I can do so I can come back and do it all over again. Not a damn chance. Not a damn chance. You see yourself somewhere. Take all the necessary steps to get there.
I just don't know how to quit.
That might be my superpower. You can all try and stop me.
What happened during their bar takeover?
I hope you do.
Consistency was exactly what life was all about. Don't be genius here and wild there.
There's a beautiful moment where obstacles become opportunities. Messes become messages.
I got shot in the face.
Jail was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I did put my head in a noose.
You heard 300 people dying. Nobody can tell me, like, you're breaking the rules, you're doing this wrong. There's no right or wrong. I don't care what it takes. I'm doing this.
We have a phrase for that. It's called, not a damn chance.
And white people, you're like a white, you know, fixture. Like, people look at you like Hitler, you know? They're like, we love this guy. Guten Tag, Bert. Welcome. Big shout-out to Barstool, to Big Cat.
Do they own High Noon?
I think... Does Barstool own High Noon? Doesn't Dave own it, or no?
I gotta tell you, Dave... Dave does... I wonder if people... We're gambling people. Would you have put your money on Dave Portnoy to succeed when you met him in high school?
I think I'd have to know that guy in high school.
I'm going to say no. I'm going to say no.
How did Tom Segura's dad blow up a bridge?
Probably not.
I'm going to say no, and I'm going to say the same about Big Cat.
I'm going to say the same about me and you. I was going to say, I mean, I think if I met you in high school, I wouldn't be like, yeah, this is going to work out. Yeah. Well, hold on. We got to say thank you, Barstool, for giving us, accommodating us, and letting us do an episode here. We're both, we're fucking idiots, dude. We should have done this yesterday morning, not the day. Yeah, why didn't we? Because, I don't know, it was dumb. God. God.
Yeah, we did a... I'm so hungover. We did a bar takeover, and we got Fun Tom. This is the beauty about owning a vodka company with Tom, is Fun Tom shows up every time we do a bar takeover. Every fucking time. Every fucking time Tom ends up on stage. I mean, I just want to tell you how beautiful the women of Chicago are. We walked into the Old Crow Smokehouse last night. In Wrigleyville, yes. In Wrigleyville, and a woman... Behind the bar, in front of the bar, handed me a remote control and said, press the button. And I went, okay. And I pressed it, and she went, huh. I said, what? She goes, I have a vibrator in my vagina. That turns it on. And I went, let me get my friend real quick.
Yeah. And then you just handed it to me to go press it. And I did the same. I was like, what? You go press it. And I said, okay.
Ladies, ladies, that's the move. I'm telling you right now. You want to own a man's inner dialogue for the rest of the night? That is the move. If you are a party fun girl, you do that. And you go to a bar. You're in college. You find a guy. Give him the remote and say, I'll see you in like 10 minutes. And that guy will do nothing but think about you. I woke up thinking about her. I woke up... I'm pretty sure her boyfriend...
Was with her?
Yeah, she had a boyfriend.
Yeah, and he was just like, cool, right? Like, he was one of those guys.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Yeah. He might be into watching or something. It was... Oh, yeah. I mean, I just stopped thinking about her.
Yeah, I know.
She owns real estate in my head. No, it's because when we left there, you were like, dude, can you believe... Like, you... It was... And I kept thinking. It's a real. Here's the thing. It's a real power fucking move, right? To be like, hey, she's basically saying your hand is inside my panties right now. You know what I mean?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What funny stories do they share from Chicago?
0:05–0:39
2
What happened during their bar takeover?
0:39–2:00
3
How did Tom Segura's dad blow up a bridge?
2:00–5:11
4
What are the latest controversies in women's sports?
5:11–6:30
5
Why do they discuss the Mandela Effect?
6:30–8:16
6
What insights do they share about gambling and kids?
8:16–10:14
7
How do they navigate the world of online hate?
10:14–11:23
8
What are their thoughts on Meghan Markle?
11:23–1:38:24