finding something nice to say about things i hate [video]
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Why does Emma Chamberlain consider herself a private hater?
In the last episode, we discussed how sometimes I can be a little bit of a hater, okay? And I say a little bit of a hater because unlike most haters, I don't seem like a hater. I don't spread hatred. I don't put people down. In fact, I tend to do the complete opposite. I'm very supportive and kind and nonjudgmental and loving. To the naked eye, I'm a bundle of love. But in private, I can be a little bit of a hater, okay? And I've always sort of been that way. Like I've always found weirdly a sense of joy in novelty in hating on things. I've always sort of loved gossip. Like there's just something about me that enjoys hatred. It kind of reminds me of my relationship to nicotine. For whatever reason, I just like nicotine.
Some people I know couldn't care less about it. They smoke a vape, smoke a cigarette, whatever, and they just never get hooked, and they just never like it, and nicotine never works for them, and they just never get addicted, and it just never happens. I'm the opposite. For whatever reason, I've always loved it, okay? Does it ultimately impact me negatively? Yes, because having nicotine in my system makes me anxious and paranoid, and it makes me dissociate. It has a bunch of negative effects. But in the short term, I love it. I absolutely love it. The way that it releases chemicals in my brain, I just absolutely love it. And I'm prone to being addicted to it. I feel the same way about being a hater. Like there's just something about me that enjoys it.
And again, like it could be much worse, right? There are people who are haters, chronic haters who spread hate. and who have a negative impact on the world. And I really don't think that I am that. I think I'm really good at controlling it and keeping it contained. You know, my hater only really comes out within the privacy of my own mind and my closest friends and family. You know, I keep it really close to the chest. So me being a hater isn't, like, a worldly problem, okay? I'm not hurting people. I mean, maybe occasionally something gets out. Like, I don't know. But, like, for the most part, it's really just something that impacts me. I am the one who is ultimately being harmed by this. In the moment, it feels fun.
I love, you know, listening to a new album that just came out, right? Like a musical artist drops an album. I love listening to it and fucking hating on it. There's something fun about that. Again, in private, but there's something fun about it. I love when someone slightly wrongs me and they just become my fucking enemy in private. This person is just now my enemy. There's something about that that I find fun. However, it's fully against privacy. my morals and values. Like, being a hater is fully against my morals and values. I do not think it's okay. I know it's bad. And it just happens to be something that I am particularly prone to. Which means I have to pay extra attention to the side of my brain that can quickly fall into a hater sort of rhythm because I feel like our true colors and our weaknesses come out in challenging times, right? And so for me, when everything is good in my life, it's easy for me to not be a hater. I don't really have to check in on it I'm just not a hater.
But when some challenges arise, sometimes I start to become a little bit of a hater again. I'm constantly keeping this side of myself in check, right? And, you know, recently I discovered that I had fallen back into my hater mentality. I just have slowly but surely gotten back to a point where I just seem to hate everything. And for me, being a hater doesn't necessarily mean hating on people all the time, right? I mean, there's definitely certain people that end up getting caught up in my phase of hatred, but it's like everything. It's not just big things or specific people. It's everything. I just become a hater. I see everything through a hateful lens, significant and insignificant. So I had an idea, an idea to help retrain my brain, hopefully. Is it going to work? I don't know. But here's my idea. Maybe I could find some value in doing a little exercise every once in a while.
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