obsessed with your ex, advice session
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What complex figures in our lives are we discussing?
Hello, and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today we're going to be discussing a very complex figure in our lives, and that would be our exes. Once we were lovers and now we're strangers. Once we showed them our butthole. Now we show them nothing. Once it brought us joy and pleasure to see them at the end of the day. Now It brings us fear and anxiety and pain to see them at the end of the day, perhaps at a bar or maybe at a party or at a restaurant. It causes almost always negative emotions. And even if it causes positive emotions and you're happy to see your ex, there's usually some sort of negative undertone.
It's very unnatural to date somebody and be incredibly close to them and then one day break up and then become complete strangers, right? It's a very unnatural experience, and it's very painful, and it's very weird, and it's very complicated. And today, I'm gonna do my best to give you advice about it, okay? So without further ado, let's begin. I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Temptations Cat Treats. Your cat will come running for the perfectly irresistible Temptations creamy puree and Temptations lickable spoon cat treats. The best time to feed lickable cat treats to your cat is anytime. Feed by hand for a playful moment, in a bowl for a creamy treat, or as a topper to make mealtime fun. Visit TemptationsTreats.com to learn more. Now let's get back to the episode. Somebody said I broke up with my boyfriend, but he still loves me and wants to stay in touch. What do I do? Well, a lot of people do not recommend staying in touch after a breakup. I'm one of those people.
How can staying in touch with an ex affect healing?
I tend to believe that it's best to give each other at least a few months of space after the breakup to properly start the healing process. Otherwise, it's impossible. If you stay in touch, it's impossible. Every time you speak to your ex, it's like ripping off the Band-Aid again from the wound that was created from the breakup. And then like pouring salt into it and like putting bacteria into it and like causing an infection. And then, you know, when you stop talking again, then you start healing again. And, you know, you put Neosporin on it and you put a Band-Aid and maybe you get stitches and it's good. And then you talk to them again and then you rip out all the stitches and then you pour more salt in it.
And then you, you see what I'm saying? It's like kind of impossible to heal if you're still in contact because every time you talk, you're ripping off the Band-Aid again and making the wound worse. However, that's not a one-size-fits-all sort of solution or path forward. Everybody's different. Every relationship is different. And you have to ask yourself what you need. Listen, Your ex might still love you and they might really want to stay in contact. But now that you're broken up, you need to ask yourself what you need. You're not in a partnership with this person anymore. Their needs are no longer your responsibility. And they weren't really before. But when you are in a relationship, you do need to be more attentive. You do need to pay attention.
You do need to be more thoughtful of your partner's feelings. In theory, you know, that's, I think, healthy. But once you're broken up... you are now, like there is no relationship anymore. You are back in a relationship with yourself in a new way. You should always have a relationship with yourself, even when you're in a romantic relationship with somebody else, but you're not taking any of your attention and putting it on anyone else anymore. Now your attention needs to be on yourself again. Maybe your friends and your family and your loved ones, but anyway, it doesn't matter. You are not putting effort into compromising yourself with this person anymore. You're not together anymore. So forget what your ex wants. Forget what's going to make them happy. That's not your concern anymore. Now it's you. What do you want?
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