Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard 55 min 10 speakers 7 chapters transcribed
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What is Armchair Anonymous about?

Dan Rather 0:00
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by Mrs. Mouse. Today is Crazy X. Tell us about your Crazy X. People have Crazy Xs out there. They do.
Monica Padman 0:26
They have a history.
Dan Rather 0:27
I think I have one. But I don't think it was realized till after. Now this, I got to give a disclaimer to this. Obviously, this should have been foreseen. Obviously, Crazy X entails some stalking. So if that's an experience you had, this probably- Isn't for you. You want to skip it.
Unknown Speaker 0:50
At least skip the first two. Yeah.
Dan Rather 0:55
Yeah. Skip the first two. Just skip the whole fucking thing.
Unknown Speaker 0:59
Just don't listen to this show.
Dan Rather 1:00
Go get a burrito and a Diet Coke and two martinis and kick your feet up. It's Friday. Enjoy the day off. You've got a day off. No homework today.
Armcherry 1:10
Fun.

What does a Crazy Ex story entail?

Mr. Ballin 1:11
Please enjoy Crazy Exes. You know those creepy stories that give you goosebumps? The ones that make you really question what's real? Well, what if I told you that some of the strangest, darkest, and most mysterious stories are not found in haunted houses or abandoned forests, but instead in hospital rooms and doctor's offices? Hi, I'm Mr. Ballin, the host of Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries. And each week on my podcast, you can expect to hear stories about bizarre illnesses no one can explain, miraculous recoveries that shouldn't have happened, and cases so baffling they stumped even the best doctors. So if you crave totally true and thoroughly twisted horror stories and mysteries, Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries should be your new go-to weekly show.

What happens when an ex-boyfriend becomes a stalker?

Mr. Ballin 1:54
Listen to Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Dax Shepard 2:10
All times come and go We'll be right back.
Carly 2:29
Hello.
Dan Rather 2:30
Oh, my goodness. Look at this wonderful sound booth you've constructed.
Carly 2:34
It's my husband's. He has a microphone and headphones. I was like, thanks, babe.
Dan Rather 2:38
But behind you, too, there's a lot of nice sound dampening.
Carly 2:41
I'm in my baby's nursery in this little nook.
Dan Rather 2:44
Oh, my God. Perfect. How old's your baby?
Carly 2:47
He's four months old.
Dan Rather 2:48
Congratulations.

How did Jackie deal with her stalker?

Carly 2:49
Thank you. He's tiny.
Dan Rather 2:51
Does he smell delicious?
Carly 2:53
Yes, the best. So good. When does that change?
Dan Rather 2:56
It goes on for quite a while. Are we using your real name?
Carly 2:59
My name's fine, but everyone else will change names. Perfect. Just because.
Dan Rather 3:05
And so you're not named after Carly Simon because you would have spelled it differently.
Carly 3:09
Actually, my mom, my name was Sierra. And then she was putting my nursery together and she heard a Carly Simon song. So she changed it. What? My dad came home. He was like, why does her room say Carly now?
Unknown Speaker 3:23
And she's like, I changed her name. So you are named after her. Yeah. Just spelled different.
Dan Rather 3:30
I guess that's permitted.
Unknown Speaker 3:31
I like that.

What was the resolution of the stalking situation?

Dan Rather 3:32
You like when people spell names. You and I have talked about this in the past, Monica.
Unknown Speaker 3:36
A little bit differently.
Dan Rather 3:37
You like that, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3:38
I like that.
Dan Rather 3:38
Okay. You have a crazy ex. I mean, everyone does, but you have a crazy ex that we're going to hear about.
Carly 3:44
I was so excited when I saw the prompt. I was like, yes. So you can't wait to hear Monica go, oh, my God.
Dan Rather 3:52
What the fuck? We'll set the stage for us.
Carly 3:56
Yeah, let's hear it. Yes. So it was in 2013. I was a couple of years out of college. I met. This guy, we won't name him. When I was in college, he just lived in the college town, but he didn't actually go to school. One of those. And he'd sold weed. So that's a big part of the story. He was a dirtbag. Not my proudest boyfriend moment.
Dan Rather 4:19
What was it about him that tickled your fancy? Was he gorgeous or something?
Carly 4:23
He was cute. You know, in college, you're drinking a lot. We met at a party and it was fun. That continued for a couple of years, but it was never great. But yeah, so we eventually broke up. But I should have mentioned this earlier. He was into graffiti. Graffiti gangs are called crews. I don't know if you guys know anything about this. I'm like so embarrassed to tell this story.

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