Chapter 1: What inspired David to start sketching Cornish cottages?
Hi. Hi. How are you? Oh, fucking hell. All right, you've got a green tinge to your... What? Just your whole... Persona. So I've just had a... How are you? I've just had a package sent through. Oh, nice. Love this. So have I. I can show you what I've got. Mine was yesterday, though. I love mine. I don't think you'll be that bothered.
I reckon you're going to love mine. Ready?
Yeah. Is it like a laptop? I've just bought... What is it actually? I don't know what the fuck it is. I've bought loads of these. Pro markers. They're like fancy felt tips. You're doing drawing? Yeah. I've been doing sketching. Do you know what I'm sketching? That's so weird. So have I. Have you? Yeah. Do you know what I'm sketching? If it was the same as me, I'd be weirded out.
I'm sketching Cornish fishing cottages. Oh, that's nice. That's lovely. I thought you were about to say you are. No, do you know what I'm doing? What? I'm going to have art lessons. Can I show you? Yeah, luckily I don't need them. You're the Balotelli of sketching. That's weird. You're sketching too. Fucking hell. Oh, wow. Do you know what I'm sketching? That's so weird. It started this week.
What, is it weird? Yeah, it is weird. Yeah, you have midlife crisis in different ways, usually. Isn't it so relaxing? Yeah. Do you know what I'm doing? You know we're talking about... No, no. What? No, mate, this is about me as I've just received this. That's absolutely right, sorry. Fucking trampled on everything. Oh, let me tell you what I'm doing. Okay, what are you doing, mate?
I'm doing Devonshire Cottage. Go on, what are you doing? You know, I wanted to do something about the pod. I was thinking of, like, getting something to do, doing paintings based on the pod. And I had a... Yeah, nice. I had a... Well, I got carried away. Always thinking about the money, earning some money. Well, no, I just thought it was a nice thing to do for us.
And you said about having an exhibition, and I was like, God, imagine, because I thought this is something other people get involved in. Nice guy. I'm not telling you. Nice guy with ideas, I am.
Oh, you? No, go on.
Yeah. Oh, you're saying... Always syncing up new ideas. Who? Me. What? I was talking, though. You said that I said about having the exhibition. Oh, yeah, you did. I went, bloody hell, I'm good sometimes. Glad you put in brackets sometimes.
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Chapter 2: How did Joe's drawing journey align with David's?
Yeah, what did you get? Oh, right, yeah. No? Not bothered? Not bothered. No, I'm bothered. Do you want to tell people what it is? It's Royal Mail stamps. Oh, is it stamps? Yes, stamps for porridge. It's 50 years of porridge. And I've got one going to hang it up. And you've got them for your mum and dad as well. Yeah. Taking it over next home go.
Do you know, we've been doing this for five minutes. I'm still putting felt tips in it. I've bought so many. When you end up not using them, can I have them? Good luck. Right, should I tell you what I've been drawing, actually? Yeah, you tell us what you've been drawing. No, I don't want to, actually. I'm just going to keep it a big old secret. Good, good. We're sick of it. Now, go on.
Have you been drawing stuff to do with the pod? Yeah. I went... Oh, by the way, I've got to make that choice. No, I've got to choose... Well, this could change everything. Oh, okay. Yeah, but people would put what they want drawn. Yeah, okay, we'll do that then. Sorry. Right, forget my idea. No, go on. I had an idea to do some paintings based on old or favourite podcast titles. Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Ah, nothing. Bothered? Think a good idea? Bothered? Bothered?
Am I bothered? Bothered? Have I bothered?
Well, I thought they were a fun starting point. No, yeah, that's a really good idea. So, have you chosen any that you like? Being skinny and having lunch with Linda Lusardi is what I'm currently working on. That's pretty good. Can't remember that day. Well, the idea is I'm going to be a tall, thin waiter and you're going to be sat at a table with Linda Lusardi. Yeah, bloody hell.
And I was with her husband as well and children. I think her children were there. I was painting all then. That was a funny old afternoon. Don't feel like she... I was with Dan Skinner. He's not going in either. But it was right during the angiosepithemia, you sort of... Oh, she was honing it on her head. Oh, I just felt like she was all over. She probably wasn't all over, Dan.
No, especially not in front of her husband. Oh, that's a good idea. Is it, though? Seriously, because I'm worried now it's rubbish. Well, it's a good idea in that it inspires you to... Yeah. To do it. Well, because I've chosen that one now, so I've been doing some sketches with little ideas. Oh, I mentioned fishing cottage. I got about three seconds in there.
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Chapter 3: What painting idea does Joe want to explore from the podcast?
Acrylic. Sorry, acrylic. God, that'll be tough. No, it will, won't it? Just to let you know, drawing Lindu Lusardi at lunch in acrylics will be hard. Have you started your sketches or you just bought the gear? Yeah, I have, yeah. Can I have a look? No. Cool. But I will say, I will say this, not as bad as I thought it was going to be. That's nice.
But what I'm trying to learn is lighting and colour and layers. Where have you, what are you doing? Taking photos and doing that or are you sitting in the actual... Let's have a normal conversation. No, no, that's not what I'm doing, no. Everyone's defensive about their new hobby. No one was telling me there's a thing called stationary porn. And I have got it now. Oh, is that like property porn?
Yeah, just collecting these pens and all the paraphernalia around it. I'm obsessed with these pens. They're lovely. I buy packs of like 10 of them. Yeah, well, I've got about 40 here. Can I ask how much you spent on kit? Fucking loads. Right, one of these, one of those, six quid each. Fucking hell. Yeah, yeah. What about the other ones you've got 40 of? Yeah.
How much are they?
Quite a lot. Quite a lot. Now he's listening. Now money's involved. Now he's listening. It's just the speed at which you jump in. When? Buying that mini. I'll tell you why, because I've done... So I've tried to do some drawings... I did these two cottages, and I was like, I haven't got the colours and the sort of gradients of colour I need. It was all too... I can't think of the word.
So I was like, too vibrant, so I wanted to get some subtle... So I thought, if you're going to do it, fucking do it, boy. You don't think I'm going to do this? No, I'm not saying that. I'm just thinking about kit you buy. Oh, life's too short. Get on with it. We're all going to be dead soon, yeah. Life's too short.
If you're going to say it, do it.
Just say it, we're going to all be dead soon. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
You go, oh well, gave it a go. Rather than go, I won't do it in case, I won't get the kit. I am doing it.
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Chapter 4: What details does David remember from his lunch with Linda Lusardi?
So next time you see someone painting the road, you think how lovely it is, remember they're showing off. Wow. Partly, isn't it? Well, but sometimes there's no way around it.
Grab it off Google Images, son.
No, but you do. I know, I know. I'm being silly for the part. Thank you. Thank you for being silly. Yeah. Well, that's funny you're doing that. I'm trying to find the time. It feels like a Sunday afternoon thing. Well, I think I want to take, like... I want to do, like, a holiday but a home week. Do you know what I mean?
No.
Like, take a holiday week... Rather than go somewhere, paint at home. You know what I mean? Go, I'm going to take this week painting and see how that goes right for a week or a few days or something.
Yeah.
I think that's what I'd like to do.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm not saying it was going anywhere. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, it is nice. I prefer all these... What you call it I felt tippy things to painting what it feels like achievable Yeah, yeah, fuck. I really get that I can't do that now What can't copy me no no don't copy me. This is my thing You do your thing. I'll do mine That's what I slide into Don't do what I'm doing, genuinely.
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Chapter 5: How does David describe his art lessons experience?
See, you've got a good idea there, son. Have I? See, because I drew this first of all, and I was like, oh, no, I'm bored. I don't know that. It's boring. We were at Lord's. Wait, that's good. Yeah, we're at Lord's Cricket Ground. Oh, that's great. So I can have a little cricket game. Yeah, so it's a bit of a do. But I can have a cricket game in the background.
Well, there was a cricket game in the background on the practice pitch. Oh, that's good. Chris Tarrant was there. Fucking hold on. This is like a mural. He was the MC. Chris Tarrant was there. Robert Powell was there. Hold on. So I'm going to write this down. Cricket... cricket match in background because I didn't know what background to do
Yeah, so it'll be big windows looking out onto the cricket pitch. Well, it's not going to be exactly as it was. I might be... No, no, sure. So if you tell me the window frames were a different colour or something, I'm not interested. No, it's just big, yeah, you know, big, airy, bright room. You'll probably be outside. No, we're inside. Yeah, I know, that's what I'm saying.
I'm not doing it exactly. I'm just choosing the bits I fucking want. Oh, right, well, we're inside, so do what you want. Chris Tarrant, MC. This time it was the MC, and I'll tell you what, I thought he was fucking brilliant. Absolute charm machine gun. Were you there when Danny Wallace MC'd something? Was it Danny Wallace? What, the footballer? No. Rodney Wallace and Danny Wallace?
Yeah, they were good. They were really good, and Raymond Wallace. Wasn't Rod Wallace Man U as well? Danny Wallace went to Man Utd. Danny Wallace, yeah. They were great. Nippy. Anyway. No, not Danny Wallace. Who is it? He's like a... I know exactly who it is. It's Danny Wallace, isn't it? Danny Wallace? God, I've completely forgotten. Author and radio broadcaster. Danny Wallace, yeah.
He emceed or hosted whatever the thing was. Are you sure you were there? No, I've never met Danny Wallace. He asked me to go on his radio show last year. Oh, really? Well, he walked on stage and you go, right, this is a man I only know from commenting on a couple of things. He had written the biggest book. What was that book he wrote? Was it The Dice Man or something? I don't know. Is it yes, no?
Yes, no. Yes, man.
Yes, yes, man. That's it. And he was having a big year. And I was like, God, I remember thinking, God, this is a, not an odd booking, but I wonder how he's going to get on. Absolutely. Well, I'm seeing it. Yeah, you know, hosting this. Where were you? What were you hosting? What was he hosting? I don't know. He was in a big venue. And I felt self. He's very good behind the mic, isn't he?
Oh, fucking hell. But he was amazing. Yeah. But you don't know, do you, when someone walks out? I don't know. But he's not someone... You were certainly judging. Well, I was a bit. I was like, of course, it's like... Well, I wasn't judging Chris Tarrant. No, well, I'm just saying. You're better than me. Chris Tarrant was really good. I watched him... Why was he good? Held our attention. Funny.
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Chapter 6: What types of art supplies are discussed in the episode?
And you can't host his walls. No, great point. But you read these stories, you go fucking out. If he did it, I can do it. You couldn't do it. You just want, if you're listening to this in your car, you can dreams and aspirations. You cannot, and you will not host his. Yeah. But he, you know, yeah, exactly. It's just, it wasn't an accident.
Well, I thought Wallace would go on, that night would be a stepping stone to much, much more. Danny Wallace? Yeah. Well, he might, you know, he might have chosen. No, no, I'm not saying, I just thought people go, this bloke can, I don't know, host. Oh, what, you thought he was going to be the next? Yeah, Taron. What? Oh, Tarrant.
You know, like, I don't know, doing Saturday night telly and all that sort of stuff. Oh, right. That's how much he, right. Well, he's probably been given those opportunities and he's just said, no. I'm looking at him because I just Googled him. Danny Wallace was a BBC producer, comedy producer. Yeah. Yeah. But he could have been it. I'm just saying he could have been it. The Mighty Boosh.
Original producer for the acclaimed cult hit, The Mighty Boosh. Oh, I didn't know that. He's doing all right. No, I'm not saying he's not doing all right. I'm just saying he probably had oxygen. Why do we just have to backtrack on everything? Just assume we're not being rude. Well, I am. No, not you. Them listening. Because someone... He's basically an author. He's written so many books.
Well, he probably doesn't want to fucking host Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, does he? More for you, Danny. I'm just saying he could. If he wanted to, he could. Well done. What's this? The totally free website of the important broadcast podcast every Sunday. Brian, what's this? Is it something to do with Brian? Is it even Brian?
Would you rather present who wants to be a millionaire or the world's strongest man? Well, I don't know. Well, there you go. That's what he's done. Yeah, world's strongest man, I think. Is it just a voiceover as well?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not stupid. Is he in Brighton? I don't know. Oh, no, no, he's doing Q&A in Brighton. Right. On May the 8th. Oh, no, it's gone. So what was so good about Danny Wallace? At Waterstones. I just, I just like, he was funny. It was effortless. You know, when you go, I don't know if, I don't know if you've prepared this. It seems too off the cuff.
Yeah.
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Chapter 7: How do David and Joe plan to incorporate podcast themes into their art?
Yeah, what was it called, though? The detect... The detectives. The detectives, that's it. Yeah.
Yeah.
I never watched that. I used to dip in and out. Yeah. I don't know why. Never gave it a chance. He's really funny, isn't he? He was, isn't he? Yeah. Anything else from a painting? That'll do. It's busy, isn't it? Yeah, but no, that's what other people want. Well, the room was white, from what I remember. OK, I think I'm going to do it. Tables, lots of tables.
So it was like a dinner, lots of circular tables. OK, lots of circular. So people in suits. Lots of, oh, people in lots of circular tables, people in suits. So it's dressed up, all dressed up. Yeah, and Chris Tarrant would have had a microphone.
LAUGHTER
Great little guaranteed. Absolute guaranteed he would have had a mic. No question. I felt so... If you can draw someone out of their comfort zone, feel free to have a go. What were you wearing? I dread to think. Fucking dread to think what I was wearing. Would you be in a suit?
no way i couldn't afford a suit i don't know what i was worried i'll tell you what a nice safe v-neck v-neck okay nice safe cheek v-neck that's probably got all those bubbles on it oh yeah yeah i know what you mean david in v-neck okay fucking that's a lot going on in this fucking painting but that's good that's good i think yeah I think. God, Chris Terrence is nearly 80.
I knew it would come down to. I can't believe it. But then I think, I know where I was when I got into Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. And I was, that must have been 25 years ago. Yeah, so he's basically our age. Fuck. Oh, God, don't.
So I'm just Googling it.
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