Chapter 1: What types of emails are being read in this mailbag episode?
time is right now we're opening up all of the old emails now i wonder who has emailed in now and craig and stew have emailed in now and sally too has emailed in now and john and barbara We're gonna read
All right, sorry. Just putting my headphones on. All right. Okay. Mailbag. Do you mind reading them? I just love... I don't mind. I love it. If you'd rather. I don't mind. Thank you. So these are emails that... Welcome to Mailbag, everyone. If you don't know, we're reading out emails, some of them from years ago.
Yeah. We've been sent in emails over the last three or four years and we've never really got around to reading them.
So what are we doing? Are we starting with an old one or a new one?
I can do whatever you want. I tell you what, you can choose like a countdown.
One for the top, two for the bottom. Okay, you're lovely. I'll have one old one, please. No, two old ones and a new one.
Okay.
Okay. Hello. This is from Summer. This was sent three and a half years ago.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts respond to a request for a personalized birthday message?
Hello. I know this is a massive ask and I completely understand if you both say no, but I was wondering if you could do a personalized video for my friend who is about to celebrate her 16th birthday. She's now 20. And over us. I'm more than happy to arrange a price to pay for the personalized video if you say yes. I'll do it now. Yeah?
Yeah. Go on then. What's her name? Summer. I can't do it in front of you. That's awful. Why? Because you'll judge me. No, I won't. I'll close my eyes. No, you'll say you love this, don't you?
No, I won't. You will.
I'm not listening. I've got my eyes closed. Okay, hold on. And then I'll turn the screen on you and then you say something. Yeah? Yeah? Are you listening? Hold on. Listen. Put your headphones in.
Chapter 3: What funny stories are shared about meeting a celebrity?
Fucking hell. I went to... Put your head, put your head. Yeah. I'm going to video and then turn it to you and then you say something. Oh no. Yes. Right. I'm doing it. Happy 16th birthday. So then you've got to edit it all together. No, I'm just going to turn it around to you. Oh, I see what you mean. Okay. Um, happy 16th birthday, summer crunch, crunch. Summer's friend. Oh, fucking hell.
All right. Start again. What's summer's friend called? You said summer. She didn't say. How do we do it then? Just say Summer's friend. Okay. Hello, Summer's friend. Happy 16th birthday. Crunch, crunch. Hi, Summer's friend. Oh, she won't be able to hear that.
Chapter 4: What advice is given about buying a narrowboat?
Yeah, that's it.
Hi, Summer's friend. Happy 16th birthday.
David just said happy 16th birthday, Summer's friend. Right. And then I'll send that to you and you can forward it on to... Okay, great.
Oh, that's nice. Yeah. God, she will be nearly 20. Yeah. Flipping hell. It's mental, isn't it? Right. Yeah. That was fun. Okay, so you've sent that over to me? Yep, delivered. Great. Okay, right. Yeah, that's like a cameo thing, isn't it? And how much are we charging?
Two grand. Have you got it?
I've sent it. Brilliant. Okay, great. Okay, another old one, please. Tell me when to stop. I'll do it randomly. Stop.
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Chapter 5: What nostalgic memories are shared from a holiday in Majorca?
Oh, no, that's... Why is it a no?
Because it was like a job, a work thing. Okay. This is from Brett. I don't know why I'm still listening to this, Brett.
I like starts like that. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
I wonder if he still is. It's been a few years. Okay. New one. This is from.
Was that it? Yeah. I don't know why I'm still listening. Yeah. Why would you bother emailing? I don't know.
All the time. Yeah. Fair enough. This is from Sophia or Sophie. Me and my boyfriend recently met Joe at a standup gig. This is a new one. A standup gig.
Oh, fuck.
That's a fucking hell. Wow, embarrassed already.
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Chapter 6: How does the conversation shift to discussing old TV prop storage?
We were bloody buzzed as he was nice and chatting to us for a couple of minutes and we remarked together that he had been as lovely as we thought he would be. When recalling the story to our friends, one friend was unimpressed. What? What? Unimpressive what? He reminded us of a story from ten years ago at Reading University when he would organise and emcee the comedy nights. Me? I would?
No, this friend would. At some point in the night, Joe kissed our friends on the lips at the end of his set.
Oh. Oh, God, I used to sort of kiss people in the audience. Oh, God. What? Well, just as like a weird... That was the blokes, but it wasn't the women. Did you? Yeah. This is horrendous. Why'd I do that? Might have to cut this one. Why? Sounds gross.
No, it doesn't. Just a bit of Russell Brandy. Oh, don't say that. Well, you've done it. Hundreds of people have seen you do it. I know. It's just a bit of fun. All right, go on.
Chapter 7: What unique listener jingle is featured in this episode?
What else? Oh, fucking hell. Despite that not happening with our meeting with Joe, it was still fantastic to meet him. God, I hate... Hold on, you.
Give me a minute.
Come on, you're in the heat of the moment.
You're in a comedy club. Ah, new, another new. New, okay.
Tell me when to stop. Stop. Heart attack episode. From Kate. Just started listening to your heart attack man episode and wanted to tell you my story. Oh, yeah, go on. I had a massive stroke when I was 38 in the middle of lockdown. Oh, God. God. 38. Wow. It was lovely to hear Andrew's story.
Really important to hear from a young person that had a life-threatening, which is normally an old person thing. Thank you. It was an amazing episode, but felt very emotional. Wow.
Wow. Oh, God, I'm getting shivers. I'm glad she's okay. Old. Let's get some old in.
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Chapter 8: What memorable experiences are recounted from the listener's raving days?
This is from Russell from two and a half years ago. I'd love to come on the pod, but I'd be as sweaty as an uncomfortable Joe, and I hate the sound of my own voice.
End of email. Yeah. I'm to always go, what did we ask? Do you want to just come on and just, what did you do? Yeah. Just email us and we'll get you on. Yeah. Was it comfortable as a sweaty joe? This isn't good for me so far, this bit. An oldie. Next one down. Next one down from that one.
Oh, okay. Next one down. I'll just pick this one. This is from Simon. Guys, like how you ventured into the interesting world of narrowboats, a few questions I'd advise you to ask.
We're still sort of interested, yeah.
Yeah, so you'd end up with at least some credibility with your listeners. Question one, when was the last boat last surveyed?
Oh, is this... Hold on, was this when we were saying we were going to buy one? Don't know.
LAUGHTER
You can have just the hull surveyed or a full survey which checks items like electrics and heating. On an older boat, you must have a survey done or you will be a laughing stock on the moorings. You might also have a shitload of welding to be done soon afterwards. You might be lucky and find that it recently had a survey. Who knows? Question two. When was the boat last blackened?
This needs to be done every two to three minimum to stop rusting around the waterline. Question three, how many hours has the engine done? I love there's no context. Whatever the number, draw air through your teeth like a plumber giving a quote. Question four, anybody ever died on board?
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