Chapter 1: What emails are discussed in this week's Mailbag?
it's email time now that's who the time is right now we're opening up all of the old emails now i wonder who has emailed in now and craig and stew have emailed in now and sally too has emailed in now and john and bob Oh, oh, we're gonna read em now Oh, oh, we're gonna read em now
Welcome, everybody, to Mailbag Friday. Welcome, welcome. We'll start the weekend, and I'm going to crack on straight away by reading out Leo Comenios' song.
Oh, God. You know, like, sorry, like Popmaster. What's the Popmaster theme tune? It's like an energy. What you did then felt like it could have had a... Yeah, exactly. A backbeat.
Crunch, crunch, love the Honest Pod, and Ross Noble did a pod about Cliff Richard's song, Wired for Sound, and how it introduced the Walkman to the UK. Due for a knee operation tomorrow, but also had a heart attack in my 20s. Lucky, lucky me. Keep up the great pod, found a fellow Chatterbiscuit in a CBRE worker at Church Stretton Exchange the other day.
As I worked for Openreach, it was quite an obscure cult we've set up. Thank you for your email.
What was that last third? I didn't understand that last third. What? I didn't understand the last third of his email.
Keep up the great pod, found a fellow Chatterbiscuit in a CBRE worker at Church Stress and Exchange.
A worker, worker. So CBR is the name of a company. Yeah, I missed the worker.
He works for Openreach.
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Chapter 2: What embarrassing story about a one-night stand is shared?
We downed many, many snake bites and then moved on and danced the night away to a live band in the outback in Acton. Neither of us wanted the night to end. This lovely lady explained going back to hers was a problem as she was staying at friends and was just on holiday.
Fueled up on snake bite, I saw no issue in inviting her back to mine and told her we could go back to my house, which me and a few friends were renting. When we got to the door, I said to her, we need to be quiet so as not to wake up my roommates. Not mentioning once, we were actually going to my parents' house. So far, so good. Until we got to the door and I realized I didn't have a fucking key.
I had to knock on the door at 3 a.m. When my dad answered the door, my Aussie companion said, shit, your roommate's really old. Old.
what's going on why what um what am i thinking yeah no i know what's going on his dad yeah your roommates really are i know i'm just this is how do i say this i'm thinking and it's not good when you think about the listener
No, and I'm getting carried away. Well, I've got to commit.
You are committed. The problem isn't you.
I'm just like... We haven't got to the end yet.
Okay, it's going to need a super little twist.
The following morning, she jumped in a taxi before anyone was up, and a very sheepish me went down to the kitchen later that morning to a semi-grilling for my mother.
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Chapter 3: How did the host meet Alan Carr and what happened?
You can remain anonymous. Here we go from Lindsay Macken. Sorry, Mackenzie. Lindsay Mackenzie.
Mackenzie.
I'm a massage therapist and have never been so gross as to do what Joe seems to think happens on an hourly basis. What? Fart. Shut up. You fart. Like, everyone farts. Not every... She says she's not... She hasn't done it during a session.
I don't... What? She's... What about she feels one coming? She holds off for 52 minutes. Nonsense. I'm not saying she's done a big fart, but everyone farts. You can't choose when you fart.
All right. Happy to come on the pod and discuss some memorable client situations. Erection times two.
Two erections. Yeah, two erections.
Hairy back. Sweaty feet. Fast asleep lady. Nose dripping. Thoughts on how to be a millionaire. I don't know what that means. But the most intriguing one. Oh my God, erection.
Yeah. I don't believe she's never farted in a session.
I do, otherwise she wouldn't have emailed. He's literally gone, I've never done that. Have you ever farted while we've been podding? No, I haven't. You fucking have. Yeah, I did once. I giggled and I farted. You've done it twice.
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Chapter 4: What humorous quips are shared during the episode?
Those are just brilliant, aren't they, those quips?
They're universal. They're perfect because it just oils the wheels. It's so good. Yeah. So good. I wouldn't say they're so good.
But they're so good as in, like, they're... Harmless. Wonderfully harmless. They're harmless. And they do just bring a little smirk, which is what you need.
You get a little bump, you just go like, whoop, and it will go on with our lives, yeah. Yeah.
This is from Dominic. This is another quip. Lads, had to email in, as I've been on a quip rampage this weekend.
LAUGHTER
With a small six-month-old baby strapped to my chest, which already gets a surprising amount of attention from strangers, I've been making sure, while ordering a pint of Guinness, I wait for the inevitable eye contact from fellow drinkers and simply say, it's all ill drink. Never fails and it works for any drink. So well, in fact, in the last 24 hours alone, I've pulled it off at Colon.
Wrexham football ground with a can of Wrexham lager. In a coffee shop with a latte. A golf club in North Wales. Nods of approval would have smirked from the golfing boys. A campsite in Wales. More than a snort and a smirk from a middle-class couple. What a needy prick. Crunch, crunch.
I wanted more of that. great wouldn't i could have listed a hundred places they've done that quick but i've never got bored of yeah what a needy prick
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Chapter 5: What complaints about cannabis culture are mentioned?
Hi, both. I'd never thought of myself as a quipper, but you talking about repeating the same quip multiple times to different people sparked a thought. When my wife was pregnant with our daughter and we were telling people the good news, they would often say, congratulations, do you know what you're having?
Multiple times I pulled a bit of a confused face and replied, we're having a baby, I think. Disgusting.
LAUGHTER It's great with a bit of self-loathing.
I don't get board equips. No. I really don't. It's good, isn't it? But I don't... Like, any version of them just doesn't... Ones that are really bad are great, good ones are... It's particularly good when they're not equipped.
Yeah.
But when they're a good one, like... I'm sure I heard people say recently, why are Joe and David laughing? Some of these things are just people talking. It's a weird thing.
Yeah, don't worry. Yeah, no. Sorry.
Okay, this is from Henry. This was sent in February. Hi, both. First time emailer, a big fan of the show. I wanted to share with you a cringeworthy memory. As a child, I was convinced that there was a pop act called Minnie Moore. Adverts for compilation albums were enthusiastically announced, featuring Slade, Shawody Woddy, Gary Glitter on chocolate, and Minnie Moore. LAUGHTER
That's great. Isn't it? Fucking hell.
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