Chapter 1: What message upset Joe on social media?
Oh, hi. Hi. Are you at Sussex?
Yeah.
Nice. Yeah. How are you? Yeah, all right. How are you? Yeah, I'm all right. I'm all right. Very much.
are you visiting for a week yeah i came up uh saturday afternoon and i'm going i've got to leave my boy's got a nativity so i've got a bomb down the back to devon oh when's that on in a couple of days nativity play no today oh today yeah yeah yeah oh Yeah. Sorry, I haven't got my pod head on. I'm literally just talking. Well, what is your pod head? Let's talk about your pod head.
Oh, it's just finding the angle, isn't it?
Your pod head. Do you have a pod head?
Well, I was just talking then. Do you have one? Yeah. Right, how are you, anyway? Please say you've got something to say.
No, I've got a tiny thing, but there's absolutely no way I could go anywhere. It's just this... I want to talk about podheads, because I've really noticed a thing. You know when we...
sometimes stop and but we're still recording but we then go are you still okay and the difference sometimes sort of frightens me because i'm like we change once we've yes once we go to james sorry can you cut all this because uh this isn't going out and then then we sort of have like almost and i go i don't i don't click in You know what I mean? I don't have a click-in moment, but it clicks in.
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Chapter 2: How do Joe and David feel about social media interactions?
I'm with you.
I haven't done for ages, like such a long time.
It's a really nice feeling. Yeah, it's great. You forget there's stuff going on.
Yeah, it's so liberating. I don't even read the comments on our pod, which used to make me laugh. Because one in a hundred, you go, fuck off. And it's like liberated and whatever. Yeah. So don't read them on anything.
But the other day. Also, if something does come through, I go, my tester would know me write that. Know. Yeah. Wow.
Interesting. Well, I did something, you know, I love like waterways and canals and the sea and stuff. So I did a post for the RNLI with their new Christmas jumper. And, like, Petra was going, oh, it's gone down really well. Sorry, Ball's bought one. Something else, something else. I was like, OK, everyone loves the jumper. Brilliant. So she showed me the phone.
And she'd sort of scrolled a little bit, you know, like reading comments. And so I then went like that. And the next comment said, I've met him twice. He was horrible and unapproachable both times. So I've gone... Oh, no, hang on.
Let us sit with that for a sec.
Yeah, right. No, exactly. I went, you fucking arsehole. I go out of my way.
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Chapter 3: What gardening podcasts does David recommend?
I was just like, do you think they've made that up? Yeah, 100%. There's no way. Well, the only thing I would say is sometimes, occasionally, you meet someone very horrible who I am, you know, say someone comes up and grabs you or something. I might have to go, sorry, do you mind not doing that? You know, someone's pissed or something. Even then I try and do it politely.
So I was like, there's no way if you're a normal person who said, hello, I've gone, I'm sorry, I'm just not like that. And she said, what?
I love that you're making a statement there. I'd just like to say... Well, what would you say? Someone's wrote on something. I'd hate it. No, because my thing now is, would Nomi write that about someone? No, she wouldn't. Nomi is my little tester.
Yeah, but Nomi's really nice. She's on the scale of nice. That middle nice is there. Yeah, this person is not very pleasant. I know, but Nomi's right over there on the nice. I think you've used slightly the wrong person. No. She's the one I want to hang out with. Yeah, that's true, but she's top 3% nice.
She's top dog.
Yeah. And she is a dog. Jesus, when? Yeah, she's a dog.
She's a dog? I'm saying it because now we go, you silly brat, and I'll go, I'm just wrapping up.
Well, can I be defensive on her part? I'd like you not to say dog about your wife, please.
Well, I'm thinking of a cute one that I'd have on my lap. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely. But yeah, so that... that sort of rattled. And I was like, oh. Okay, right. Let's... But on the... Right. What did you make you... How did it make you feel? Unfair. Well, also, I... Like...
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Chapter 4: How do Joe and David define their 'pod heads'?
Oh, we'd like, but I think it was like so in the front of people's brains. If they saw you, they couldn't not react. You know what I mean? Because they go, I'm literally watching that now, and I'm obsessed with it. So it's all completely dialed down. But my point being, in the middle of it, it was quite mad, and people were coming up all the time. And I was really going, oh, no, that's OK.
Don't worry. It's all right. Yeah, of course you get all that. And then fucking whatever her name was said, I've messaged you. It was a woman.
It was a woman. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. You're a dick. I hate that it's now a stain, it now exists. I know, well, this is what it is.
It's like, whatever you do, someone's going to... I told you the Radio 5 show that I used to do on a Sunday morning with Chris Addison.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Do you want to hear it again?
Yeah.
Rattle through it. No, fuck you. Loads of people send in comments about the show and they have to keep some of them away.
Do you remember the actual bit I was going to say? Keep going. See if you can remember the actual bit. What are you drinking? It's like canned water. Oh, someone's got up the ladder. It's trader's money.
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Chapter 5: Why does Joe avoid reading comments?
Do you want to read an email or something? Yeah. Basie said something along those lines. I can't remember what it was. Messaged me and Dan. Then neither of us replied. He said, these two are a pair of fucking assholes. Then Dan replied something like, look, sorry, I've been away. I didn't see your message. Then the guy wrote, take that back. That's a lie from Danny Sawyer. Yeah, exactly.
Whatever. Then the guy wrote, take that back. I've been away from Twitter. only Joe Wilkinson's a fucking arsehole. So like, because Dan replied, he was taken out of the arsehole list. These, you know what I mean? I was like, what the hell's that about?
Obviously people are crazy, but this, this, this, that one, I don't know, my point being is I hadn't read it and now I'm fucking dealing with this after a nine second interaction with fucking comments. So I don't even know how many others there were.
Doesn't matter, though, does it? Although sometimes I think, oh, God, there's a locked door over there, and if you open that door... Yeah, fucking hell.
Oh. You know, obviously people are going, oh, that's nice, and all that shit.
Would Petra leave a comment like that about someone she's seen on the box?
Online? She has not left a comment on anything. I mean... I know. I know. These people are just... I know. I just want to understand that. You know what I mean? I go, what have I done to you to lie like that?
And it is a fucking... You're one of many.
Do you see... This will be out of date, won't it? But do you see the Gary Lineker thing? No. So Gary Lineker was in Mexico for some football award thing, I think. Recently? Yeah, it's like, well, this would be a week ago now when this goes on. Right. It's got him walking down the road with a 30-year-old woman and Tommy Robinson, you know, the right-wing knob.
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Chapter 6: What experiences have Joe and David had with negative comments?
Dr. Chill. I could go back to my gardening and try and think of the episodes that I'd go, oh, I like this episode of Chapstick.
Oh, that's good.
So it'd definitely be that. It would be... Can I guess? Can I guess one? Yeah, go on. Any behind-the-scenes of Countdown or anything like that? One that absolutely got me. I used to love Adam Buxton explaining his terrible moments on panel shows. That I love. Yeah, any behind-the-scenes-y stuff. Behind-the-scenes like that. Where else did I look? Quirky improv from American... What? What?
on comedy bang bang uh what else hold on hold on what's that mean what kermode and mayo reviewing their stop talking for a second answer my fucking question what's quirky americans doing improv what's that like comedy have you had comedy bang bang No.
I was into that in, like, 2011. What's Comedy Bang Bang? Oh, it was a podcast fucking years ago. I made American Comics, just improv-ing. You like that? I did, yeah. I did like that. I wonder if I would like it now. I did like it, but I wasn't... Yeah, I did like it. Yeah, I did like it. That's OK. Andy Daly. I loved Andy Daly.
Oh, yeah, he's good, yeah. Is he the review guy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I like that. What about Aareps? What were those would you like? That's what I thought you were going to do. Not fucking podcasts I've heard of. Kermode and Leia. What would you get your teeth?
I'll tell you what. Okay. We might, we could learn from this. What I liked about Kermode and May is that you had like a one hour 55 ahead of you. So you had a big chunky app of two hours where you go, this is going to get me from three to five and then I'll fuck off home with a spliff in my mouth.
Or be productive. I had a weird one the other day. I won't say what the podcast is, but it's a podcast I like and I know you've listened to. It's this one. Why can't you just say it? Well, because I'm not slagging it off.
Go on. Oh, yeah, I went to that last night, I think, on the night before. I was very surprised at the latest guess. Yeah, me too. And turned off immediately. I didn't.
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Chapter 7: How do Joe and David decide on podcast content?
I was genuinely thinking, I like doing one in a million. I like doing mailbag. I hope we come across another one that's different. Like another where I don't have to think.
Yeah, you can't have any prep or... No, I can't be bothered with that.
No, but like we go, this is the one where... I don't know, we listen to a thing and then there's loads of fun because of that. We listen to a thing then. No, shut up. Can't hate the way I said that. But, no, but like latch on to something. Like a new latched on. Because, you know, Mailbag and One in a Million was like just luck, wasn't it? We went, oh, we could do more of that.
Yeah.
Right, so I was going to do this on my football pod, and it doesn't work for us, but I like what I'm doing. Can we do something on Chatterbox, which is similar, but I don't know what it would be. So I was going to get the EFL football stickers each week and just open them and just see who the players are who come out. Isn't that Casey Neistat? So it is like unboxing, isn't it? Yeah.
Can we unbox? Well, we always get a bit rang up.
I like stickers. Yeah, but also we get a bit, you know, we're through a phase going, and it's so disgusting getting people to send stuff in for us. It's like, that's horrendous. I mean that I can just buy up the co-op for a quid. I can't think of a fucking thing I'd want you to open every fucking week. I couldn't give a fuck. Every once a month. Yeah, once a month I couldn't give a fuck.
David's opening fucking... As I said it, I didn't want to do it. Oh, what's David opening? David open. Yeah. God, it's monkey tennis, isn't it? Yeah. We'll find something.
Will we? Must have chucked something out into the ether.
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Chapter 8: What future episodes are Joe and David planning?
I like mailbag. I wonder if he could be asked. Wait, if he says twice a month, once every two months, go find him.
I love the idea of us suggesting it. So do you want to come one a month? And he says once every two or three months. It would be amazing. He would commit to one a month. Only once every three months.
But I think people would like that, having them up regularly. Yeah. And I like Fridays just a bit. Oh, Friday's here. Oh, it's a bit of fun on a Friday.
Okay. When do we put one in the millions out? On a Friday. Instead of a mailbag?
Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I don't think we do, do we? Oh, I don't know.
Shouldn't we fucking know that? That's insane. That's utterly insane. I think that's what Harper's trying to... There's reliant on James and Harper, and then there's this.
we don't know when things are going out no they they do go out i think on a see yeah see we yeah it's a lot of pressure on one in a minute let's go yeah we haven't put a one in a million we haven't put a one in a million out since 19th of november that's only two weeks all right so we can ask
Okay.
Jesus wept. I can't go for it, mate. Let's go. I've got to go. I've got to get home.
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