#339 Jennifer Selby Long: Gen X Wisdom for Saboteur Survival
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What insights on self-sabotage does Jennifer share?
When I started this business, which is actually my second business, a few years after it started, we hit the dot-com bust. And the business sank, right? And really struggled. And then again, we got hit in 2008 when the economy collapsed in the United States. And it is so easy to fall into the self-sabotage. The reason, though, is really interesting.
Thank you.
the AD, C-H-A-M-I-N-E, Shirzad Shamim. And he writes a great deal about the neuroscience of this because that self-sabotage is something that develops in very early childhood. It is almost entirely wired into our brains by the time we're five years old. Now, why is that in there? those saboteurs as he calls them are neural networks that very tiny children develop to ensure their survival if a little tiny kid recognized that their parents were not infallible which is actually true It would be terrifying because they cannot care for themselves, right? So these neural networks form as a vital part of early childhood. They're just part of that survival mechanism. However, in adulthood, we don't need those anymore. But at that point, they're really strong. They've been there for decades, right? Getting stronger and stronger, and they're just lurking in there.
and i want to really convey the important message that when you start to feel yourself self-sabotage that's not you that's the saboteur neural networks in your mind firing up that's all that is and they're sitting in there and they jump out when they get a signal that indicates that there's a threat to survival. Of course, if you go after a contract in your new business and you work really hard on it, you put all this time into it. When you were an employee, if that contract didn't close, you still got your paycheck. But now all of a sudden, you're looking at, can I pay my rent? Can I make my mortgage? So that, of course, your brain fires that up as risk to survival. And so the saboteurs jump in there.
The universal saboteur is called the judge. Every single one of us has this. And the judge has snuck in there and is getting in your way when you feel a negative feeling and you are judging either yourself or or someone else or the situation that is a sign that your judge is in there your judge is going to tell you you need me i am good for you but you don't need that judge to be talking and the judge is not good for you so the way that you can recognize that again you feel a negative feeling You're feeling stress, frustration, anxiety.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What insights on self-sabotage does Jennifer share?
3:18–13:58
2
How can we identify and weaken our inner judge?
13:58–22:15
3
What are the common traps professionals face with bad bosses?
22:15–27:56
4
How can empathy help in navigating office politics?
27:56–34:04
5
What does winning look like in personal transformation?
34:04–37:21
6
How do past experiences shape our current decisions?
37:21–41:06
7
What lessons can we learn from failure in leadership?
41:06–45:02
Speakers
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