Coachella + Drunk College Stories

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Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade 53 min 3 speakers 4 chapters transcribed 4 months ago
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What are the new jokes and material discussed at the beginning?

Dana Carvey 0:00
This one guy said, what are you looking at? I go, I'm looking at you, looking at me, .
David Spade 0:04
Yeah, I go, not much.
Dana Carvey 0:06
What the was that?
David Spade 0:08
What the ? You got a joke about pickles?
Dana Carvey 0:09
What the are you doing up there, playing around, shuffling around, looking at your notes?
David Spade 0:15
I went into my dorm at the SAE house, and two twin beds, and the guy said, no, I said to the guy, he said, well, this is weird. I said, yeah, should we this one and sleep in this one, or what should we do?
Dana Carvey 0:31
you looking at do you know what you're looking at is it a rhetorical question yeah this one guy said what are you looking at i go i'm looking at you looking at me bitch yeah i go not much i'm trying to figure it out i go move and they go make me i go i don't make trash i burn it yeah and if they start coming out at me i just go cut it out and do this thing cut it out
David Spade 1:00
I go like this, not the face. Oh, God. Might be in show business at 27 years age now. Saving my face for him. Wow. What a rowdy start we have. Whoa. Going right at it. Comedy cavalcade. Your hair does look good. It's very fluffy.
Dana Carvey 1:24
um yeah I have a new person because it's closer by to where I live it's sort of like a volcano shooting out like this well it's 50s it's 50s it's Alpha never mind I'll go back to the bangs later in the podcast you might have to Dana can you turn your mic down no I'm just a little amped up yeah okay hold on sorry I have energy
David Spade 1:51
Sorry I care about the podcast. Yeah, sorry I forgot to phone it in. Oh, I just got another one. It says, Dana, can you turn your hair down?
Dana Carvey 1:59
That I can't do.
David Spade 2:02
Okay. My sweater is green and everything looks black in this room, but this is green. Could you tell? Okay.
Dana Carvey 2:10
I'm doing technical stuff. Give me a second. Talk literally.
David Spade 2:14
I'll vamp.
Dana Carvey 2:15
Talk to yourself right now. I will. So I woke up and I said this. So Greg, it's at a five. And then on the bottom, I can put it.
David Spade 2:28
Yeah.
Dana Carvey 2:28
Yeah. Okay.
David Spade 2:30
All right. I'll keep this stuff in because it makes us more human. Everyone thinks we're super geniuses.
Dana Carvey 2:38
What's the difference between a genius and a super genius?
David Spade 2:42
You have five seconds. I'll tell you when you're in the Super Genius Club.
Dana Carvey 2:47
Can you find the base of an isosceles triangle? You have two seconds.
David Spade 2:53
I have to go find it somewhere.
Dana Carvey 2:54
Well, I don't know. You said can you. If you're a brainiac, you ought to be able to find the base of an isosceles triangle. See, the haircut and the glasses, it's a brand new me.
David Spade 3:04
It is. I think it feels like it's either an ode to Coachella or you are at Coachella.
Dana Carvey 3:11
The idea of me, I'll do it with this guy. The very idea of going to the desert to watch 10,000 adolescent drugged out kids pee their pants and worship their God on the stage who's only playing YouTube videos is not my idea of fun. Did I get that right?
Unknown 3:40
See, I popped in there too.
David Spade 3:42
You know something. No, I love Coachella.
Dana Carvey 3:45
I love crowds. I like to get into a big crowd of people.
David Spade 3:49
Yeah, I like to pay $54 for a Tootsie Roll.
Dana Carvey 3:53
Yeah, I love it. It's out in the desert, Coachella. I mean, I like hiding behind a cactus.
David Spade 3:59
I like pooping dirt clods for the next two weeks. It's nice if you like wind and sand.
Dana Carvey 4:07
I'm one of those people that, no, an outhouse is a wonderful adventure. It's just like it's never really cleared out. It sort of adds on to itself, and it's very exciting, actually.
David Spade 4:21
I always envy the people that do OnlyFans have sex in the outhouse. I think there's probably better location scouting we can do. Oh.
Dana Carvey 4:32
Is this OnlyFans? Like, only our fans or only anyone's fans?
David Spade 4:36
No, OnlyFans is just porn.
Dana Carvey 4:38
I got it, because it could, you know.
David Spade 4:40
And OnlyFans used to be, like, girls getting, like, cheeky or naked. Now it's like, if you're not doing full porn, get out. Get off the site. Get off.
Dana Carvey 4:49
Yeah, you take your non-porn site and get the hell out of here.
David Spade 4:56
Good daddle. Go. Go. Just leave. Oh, I also have something else to tell you. I like, and then we'll go back to Coachella, is that I like things that I could just tell you on a phone call, but we'll use the podcast. Someone told me they were doing sets up near you And I go, are there any sets to do up by where they, I didn't say you, I can't even say the city, but I said up there and they go, oh yeah, there's a couple of rooms.

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