Episode 597: The Krugersdorp Cult Murders Part IV - The Werewolf of Wall Street

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Last Podcast On The Left 1h 33m 7 speakers 6 chapters transcribed
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What is the premise of the Krugersdorp Cult Murders?

Chris 0:01
There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left.

What led to the cannibalism within the cult?

Marcus Parks 0:09
That's when the cannibalism started.
Henry Zebrowski 0:20
Kruger's door up in the house. Kruger's door.

How did the werewolf concept become involved?

Ed Larson 0:23
Let's wrap this werewolf up, baby. Dude, so much shit. Yeah, we're turning this werewolf into a GD mummy. Hell yeah, man.
Henry Zebrowski 0:32
That's what we're doing.
Ben Kissel 0:33
Oh, my God. Can you imagine a werewolf mummy? Oh, my God. How about a werewolf daddy? Actually. You son of a bitch. Welcome to the last podcast on the left.
Ed Larson 0:43
Guess what, ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately, brat season is officially over.
Miranda Stain 0:49
My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Henry Zebrowski. What do you think about werewolf mummies or a mummy Dracula or a werewolf mummy Blue Lagoon monster?
Ed Larson 0:58
I am actually thinking about bigger, more important things, Marcus. Bigger, more telling things about the very center of our country, like who am I and where am I right now? I hate to continually call you wrong, but it's the Black Lagoon.
Miranda Stain 1:14
Thank you. That's true. That's true. My mind is too addled by the Monster Mash to think correctly, and I'm here with Ed Larson. I haven't gotten over the Monster Mash.
Ed Larson 1:25
I'm a werewolf. Well, if you are a werewolf, then you should probably go to jail for many crimes. Because werewolves intrinsically commit murder.
Ben Kissel 1:34
It's during the day. No one knows. It's me. You're just a big fat man.
Miranda Stain 1:39
You're just a hairy fat man. So here we are. Cougars DARP part four. The conclusion to this series.
Ed Larson 1:48
Now, you're going to see why we took this long to get through this much material. No. But we're hoping that our audience does, because obviously we woke up today in a new fun world. Yeah. And we are just rolling with it because we have to.
Ben Kissel 2:03
I'm just so upset that Quincy Jones isn't going to know the end of the Kruger's Jordan drama.
Ed Larson 2:07
Nobody tell Jimmy Carter what happened to him.
Miranda Stain 2:13
So when we last left the members of Electus Perdeus, they had just killed their fifth and sixth victims. But these murders had very little to do with the motivations behind their first four killings, which were committed ostensibly as a righteous act to battle the forces of Satan. The murders of Joan and Peter Meyer, however, their latest victims, were simply the result of a robbery gone wrong. A robbery did wrong. Yeah. That's what I would put it that way. Did wrong and gone wrong. Yeah.
Ben Kissel 2:39
Yeah. Anyway, you know, you're also robbing people without money. Yeah. Oh, no, these guys, those, the first ones, the Myers, they were wealthy.
Miranda Stain 2:47
They were wealthy, but they didn't have cash on hand. Yeah. Of course not. No wealthy person has cash on hand.
Ed Larson 2:52
They went through the pain of an entire pitch meeting in order to get nothing.
Miranda Stain 2:56
They listened to this man talk about a South African water park for 45 minutes. You know, the here, we'll have is the crocodile area. Yeah.
Mike 3:04
Again, it's a zoo.
Ed Larson 3:05
It's all a zoo. It's so lazy, it's just sand. It's much sand and dirt. It's a lot of dirt. Very hard-packed dirt. Tired water.
Miranda Stain 3:30
See, the leader of Electus Perdeus, Cecilia Stane, had commanded her cult to somehow find money for the fictitious American orphans that had become the focal point of the group. But this was only after the group had been quiet for two years.
Ed Larson 3:43
Maybe they were quiet. Maybe. Also, remember, just to set the context again, the fictitious American orphans were the orphans, the babies of witches that were supposed to use those babies in rituals where they were supposed to carve up those babies and turn them into potpourri for Satan. Yeah. But instead, these wise witches that are so indebted to the power of Satan, but they don't want to give up their child for some reason, they still then will put this child in a very special orphanage-like system that is still being attacked by the powers of Satan from outside of it because those kids were lined up to be sacrifices. And instead, what they did was take a bunch of Virginia hams, put bonnets on them, and put them in the grinding machine.
Miranda Stain 4:29
Well, the reason why the cult reactivated was because their breadwinner, Zach Valentine, had quit his lucrative insurance agent job to start his own business as a stockbroker, and he had failed miserably.

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