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Chapter 1: What shocking revelations were uncovered in the latest Epstein files?
there's no place to escape to this is the last podcast on the left side stories that's when the cannibalism started side stories yes
Because I was trying to work on my Robin Leach before this. Yeah? Can you give me a, let me see what you got. It's like, lifestyles of the rich and famous. It's almost like you've got to be more of an asshole.
It's like, lifestyles of the rich and famous.
Famous. He was a big part of my childhood. Yeah, all of us. We love looking at big houses. Oh, my God. We were fascinated with it. And Robin Leach was the very first impersonation I ever did. Really? As a little boy. And we actually have a home video of me going around the house, going like, opulence!
share opulence and then going like and then there's a photo of the honesty it is a funny bit it's wonderful what your house looks like oh of course yeah and then i on camera took a thing of my mom's favorite perfume or big fish a big fancy perfume and it's been like can you even imagine it's stinky bleach i get going it's stinky bleach and i dropped it right i dropped it and it
Exploded all over, because Jackie was holding the camera the whole time. It fucking went everywhere. And then, like, I was trying to all mix it up, you know, trying to clean it up. And then, obviously, my mom comes home, right? I forgot what it was. She was like, out.
It just reeks. Oh, yeah.
And she's like, what'd you do? And we're like, nothing. Nothing.
Nothing.
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Chapter 2: Who is the Piggyback Bandit and what are his recent exploits?
I didn't do nothing.
She's like, you were playing with the video camera. I was like... Maybe. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, you know. We make videos. We're fun. Puts the video in. It was a wonderful, like, it was this wonderful moment of them all watching me destroy the thing on camera and have all the evidence of it on camera.
Were you just, like, waiting for a way to refute it, even though, like, you just knew it was about to happen?
Do we not understand, mother, how media can be manipulated?
Are you going to see you eating the VHS tape? Ha ha ha! And that's how Robin Leach first taught me to cover up crimes. Ah, yes. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How you doing? And honestly, and it's not code at all, kind of crazy, our cheese pizzas just got here. My question is, is that, did the grape get here yet? Is my grape soda here yet?
Oh, it's the grape.
You think it's the grape?
I have the pizza glove, though. Oh, my pizza glove. Thank you so much. Great, great, great. No fingerprints on the pizza. No, no, no. Actually, Eddie. Oh, it's a dildo hand. Can you please give me a big, look at this big, fun pizza glove.
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Chapter 3: What details emerged about Jill Biden's ex-husband's murder charge?
What is this? Oh, God. What a great pizza glove. Is this really what we're spending the new budget on? Can you please bring me a big, nice slice of pizza? Here we go. Uh-oh, Champ wants some pizza. Uh-oh. Oh, he's very young. He's very young. But that's never stopped anybody from having pizza before.
Yum, yum.
That's for fucking certain. Oh, nothing I like better than a thin, wasted, prepubescent slice of pizza. Still hot like it's from the fires of hell. I'm eating mine without protection.
Chapter 4: How did a Canadian snowboarder become a drug kingpin?
I'm going rum, raw dog in mine. I don't care what I get from this. No condoms. Must be Bill Gates. You dirty fucking nerd.
I heard they're going to change his name to Bill Gapes. Hey, come on. All right.
What are we doing here? How many spots is he? Do you remember when Bill Gates was really concerned about drinking poo-poo water? Now I know why. He loves it. Now I know why. That fucking pervert was so excited to drink piss legally in front of everybody, he created a whole fucking charity around it.
Honestly, they made the doc, it's on HBO, and they put a bunch of shit into a machine, and then he drank the water with a big smile on his face. I don't care. Sure. Can you actually bury it over in the back of the ranch? Yeah, yeah, if you don't mind, yeah.
Chapter 5: What happened in the failed FBI impersonation attempt involving pizza?
If you don't mind, if you could dig a shallow grave and put some of those pizzas over behind where the ranch ends in New Mexico. Or if it's too much, St. Lucia Island will be fine. If you could, also St. Bart's is a way to get there as well. If you could also maybe park that over on Elon's fucking plane. Guys... Oh, my Lord. Oh, what a gift. I just finally we got some shit we can use.
You know, what's hard is, is that we're obviously going to be talking quite a bit about the new dump of Epstein files. Can we hit that stinger, please?
It's an island adventure.
It's an island adventure.
See?
Heck yeah. It's Jeffrey time.
And we couldn't be happier because this is just it's confusing. It's upsetting. I'll tell you that the reading of the files over the weekend.
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Chapter 6: What are the most interesting listener emails shared in this episode?
Right. Oh, my God. It's crazy. It's just like, here's just a bunch of shit, and then search randomly. It's insane. Well, what we're doing now here is, first, before we even get into it, I want to acknowledge, number one, the large... One of the big smoking guns about this whole fucking thing is the fact that most context has been stripped from this entire dump.
They have done the only sort of work that our current administration has done to whittle any of this down is to sort of like, I believe they just decide they have a certain chunk of it they've held on their own. We now have something like three and a half million files. There was another dump this morning that they say are, oh, you know, we went through all this, blah, blah, blah.
They obviously did not. It is a massive flood of stuff that they have released, having stripped the context from in order to confuse you. They want you to believe, much like our wonderful president got on his plane while he was in the middle shitting his pants and thinking about rape. He said, this exonerates me. That was his whole thing, right?
Because he thinks in his head that they've now flooded the zone. And the problem is, is that when you flood the zone, you should think sometimes what you're flooding the zone with. Because I think these guys really think they're amazing villains, and it's just wonderful to see how bad they are at every single fucking inch of it. It's really crazy. It's barely redacted.
It's using some AI programming, which is horrific. I will say, if you're skimming through these files, one of the worst things in it is the random teenage nudity. Yeah, there's quite a bit of it because they are catching it as they go. Have you seen it? No, thankfully, I've just been kind of very pointedly going into very specific pockets.
Yeah, because I'm trying to there was like one line of thought that I'm going to talk about today that I wanted to kind of put together. But it's that whole place is a fucking spider web of horrible, horrible shit. And so what are they doing to redact all that stuff? They are just slowly but surely catching it as they can. So why shows they didn't vet it in the fucking first place?
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of the new developments in the Epstein case?
They really didn't know. So we are we're now in the moment of they think that they have. We see the kids are we able to. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I'm just I got a million questions. The if they see the kids, can they tell who they are? Yeah, I mean, especially if you're a fan. You know what I mean? It really depends on how big you are into the scene, you know?
But these guys, yeah, because you're like, because what we know about CSAM, unfortunately, is that it's sort of like Pokemon. You got to go and get the cards, right? And it's sort of a got him, got him, need him, got him sort of scenario where guys are collectors of various pieces of CSAM. Yeah. Right.
And also, if you another really good way to get through all of this material is go to Gmail dot word. OK. Gmail dot world dot world. Gmail dot world. That is another place that you can go and search all of the Jeffrey Epstein emails in a Gmail style format. Someone some genius has put this together and it is absolutely amazing.
fascinating because you can really very easily read it you kind of like pretend like it's your own inbox yeah but then you're you're now you're that's the worst video game ever yeah it's really bad you're jeffrey epstein's accountant well let's just say all these guys have some of the worst opsec abilities I've ever seen across the board.
These guys are just emailing each other openly about rape. Yeah. Buying prostitutes. They're just asking for it. We now know one of the big things is that Elon Musk is a loser. Oh my God. Begged to be on an island. He's so annoying he can't even be a pedophile. Think about this.
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Chapter 8: How are these stories connected to broader societal issues?
He's a guy so lame he kills the vibe of the rape island. Yeah. You know, like everybody's there to sexually assault someone. And they're like, God, he just really takes me out of the mood. It's his haircut. It's like it's something about his bird shaped body going like, hi. Yes. Have you fucked? Do you like to fuck? I most certainly like to fuck. As you can see. It was so funny.
I was watching The Daily Show and they caught that the email was sent on Christmas. Oh, my God. Which again, it's a boring day, especially when you're stupid fucking kids. And then also his daughter straight up ratted him out and said, yeah, we were on St. Bart that day.
Because now one thing we've learned from these emails is the fact that the reason why Elon Musk was not seen on private plane logs going directly to the island, the reason why President Trump probably was not seen going directly to the island, Bill Clinton, all these guys that were definitely on the island, Bill Gates, is because what they would do is that they would fly to neighboring islands and then take a boat over.
No, they fly in. Boats can be tracked even more easily than planes. So the problem is that you go up this... Ghislaine Maxwell got so into this method of hiding all the traveling, she got a pilot's license so that she herself could pick people up from St. Barts and transport them to the island so that nobody would know who was coming in and out. Can't find good help these days.
It's so hard because everybody just breaks the NDA. And aren't CEOs vulnerable? Aren't they? So that's one big thing we know. We know that Trump definitely God knows what he did. I think that they were now also starting seeing that Trump was one massive predator that got into the circle of of Epstein's predator world and actually disrupted the flow of his predator world. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Isn't he in the files more than anyone else? Who? Trump. Yeah. Well, also because Epstein was personally obsessed with Trump. OK, because one big lesson that seems also seems to come out is everybody was super worried about Trump winning. Yeah. Which seems like kind of the opposite for a bunch of people that love the idea of grifts and child molesters being in charge of things. Right.
They're all child molesters. Yeah. And the fact that they were all super not into Donald Trump becoming president should really show you. He's not a good guy. But what, Bannon's playing both sides then? Oh, yeah, very much so. Donald Trump has mentioned more than 38,000 times. And this is just in this dump. And again, remember, they believe this exonerates him because he's just so honest.
So one of the big trains of thought that came out of this was a... It's stuff that is hurting my brain. It is hard to process all this shit. It's fascinating and boring all at the same time. Natalie and I had a conversation yesterday where I was like, why am I...
pissed i'm like walking around pissed and angry it's like what would your therapist ask you i said probably like what are you reading and watching this is like i have been reading and watching nothing mainlining epstein fucking financial shit and fuck all of his back and forth all the video watching videos of him check his face for herpes sores oh You see those videos?
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