Normalize Gay Chaos (with Watch What Crappens) | 43
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I can't help that when I come to this space, I'm living a life of straight girl, solemn. I don't know. What's the word? I'm so domestic. And you live this life of gay chaos. I'm literally healed now. What do you mean?
What do you mean? It depends on who you ask. Hold my hand with me. It's okay. Come on. Give me your hand. It's okay to be straight. I think we need to normalize heterosexual culture.
We don't need to normalize it.
We actually don't.
We actually do because too many of your people think they're my people and it's starting to mess me up a little bit. You know what? I did watch Kissing Jessica Stein over the weekend. Have you ever seen it? Of course. Of course you have. Of course. Yes. You've seen my wrist? How many silver rings do I have to ask you where? Jesus. Oh my gosh. But I was like, wait, this is like low-key kind of me. Like that would so be like my trajectory if I like dated a woman. I'd be like, uh, I gotta go home.
You've just been having a long sleepover, huh?
It's like, this is just one like, Long hangouts. And you would hate a long hangout. You get overstimulated after an hour. I know. I'd be like, I actually need to go nonverbal and just be on my phone for a little bit. That's why you like movies so damn much. Because it's peace and quiet. It really is. It's like, there's no expectation. I'm just going to enjoy. I'm just going to give myself over to Nicole Kidman. And it's called To Die For or Birth. Or separate wives or baby girl or, or, or. Yeah. No, this is my wholesome update. Yeah. Bitch, I'm a mother. No drama. Oh, just say it normally. I'm a godmother. I'm a godmother. I'm a godmother. Congratulations. Thank you. That's major. It really is. It's really major. And I am so honored.
This is what happens. It's actually so crazy. Yeah. True story. So my best friend from childhood growing up, Molly. I remember so distinctly, I actually found this text like the other day where I texted her. This was like when we were 20 years old, I think. So 10 years ago. And I was like, oh my gosh, like you're my best friend. Like, wow. Like this is like, I just love you so much. Like you're so important to my life. And I can't wait to like I was like, I can't wait to live in New York and we're both achieving our dreams and all of this. And she's like, oh my God, yes. And you're going to be my kid's godmother. And I'm getting emotional even talking about it. And now literally our dreams are coming true. Did you find that screenshot? Yes, yes. Oh my God.
And I sent it to her and I was like, oh my gosh, this is so crazy.
My toxic trait, my first thought, that's going to do numbers on Instagram. What do you mean?
Wow. You need to unhook yourself from capitalism.
That's going to go so hard in the carousel when you swipe and you see the world.
I actually am tearing up. Like it's so, yes. I mean, she had a baby and we love her baby and I am the godmother.
Wow. Oh no, Hunter's legitimately, if you're just listening in and not visually tuning in, which is fine. Hunter, there are real tears forming in Hunter's eyes, which some of us didn't know was physically possible, but she has the capability.
You haven't seen me laugh at the Morocco trip on New York Housewives, because I have cried many a time during that. Scary Island, anyone? I cried on this podcast recounting Scary Island.
But the other kind of crying, Hunter.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on. Please, God, you need to finish that damn book. You need to finish Emotionally... Damn it, I already must have. Adult children of emotionally immature parents. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, yeah. Well, I have a wholesome update. Well, actually, you know what that reminded me of? Because I was like, what is a version of that?
I was about to not be wholesome at all. I already know.
Well... Me and my friend, Evan Nicole Brown, we always have to use our government name. We're both Libra moons. So know that like when we meet people, we like have 10 minutes of an interaction. We immediately will text the other one being like, wait, not me, just meeting like my husband or wife.
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