Jon Stewart "Can't F**king Believe" Democrats Caved on the Shutdown | Rep. Chris Deluzio & Rep. Pat Ryan

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 43 min 6 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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Britt Lower 0:01
You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Jon Stewart.
Hey, welcome to The Daily Show.
Jon Stewart 0:42
My name is John Stewart. We've got an unbelievable show for you tonight. Later on, we're going to be joined out here as Veterans Day is coming up by Representatives Chris DiLuzio and Pat Ryan, co-chairs of the Democratic Veterans Caucus. They'll be out here in a little bit. Why not? They'll be showing us how to make their favorite dishes for Veterans Day.
Jon Stewart 1:11
But let's start tonight.
Jon Stewart 1:23
Let's start tonight's show with the big news out of Washington on the shutdown. By the way, tonight's show will be brought to you by I can't believe it.
Jon Stewart 1:50
I can't f***ing believe it. For when the I can't believe it Edvard Munch scream emoji doesn't quite convey how much you cannot f***ing believe it. And what you ask is it. Well, it is the Democrats. You remember the Democrats. They shut down the government last month.
Any deal must secure the extension of the ACA tax credits. This is about my party saying enough is enough. Democrats will not back down. Do not stop fighting. We're in this fight until we win this fight because we know we're on the right side of this fight. It's literally life or death. So Democrats have three words for this. No f***ing way.
Jon Stewart 3:01
Well, funny f***ing story.
Jon Stewart 3:13
Yes, Charles Schumer's three words were no match for these five other words.
Sen. Jeanne Shaheen 3:22
Democrats cave on the shutdown.
Jon Stewart 3:24
Excuse me? Cave on the shutdown? Huh? Not this forceful, young, authentic Democratic Party that hangs out down by the river. and curses in what appears to be a cerulean blue blazer. And I say, in a way. No, they caved on the shutdown, not even not even a full week removed from the best election night results they've had in years. Seven Democratic senators, and an independent, voted with their Republican counterparts to end the shutdown and reopen the government, and did they get their extended healthcare subsidies?
Democrats wanted the deal to include extending subsidies for the Affordable Care Act. Instead, they got a promise to vote on it at a later date.
Jon Stewart 4:30
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! YOU HAD THE WIND AT YOUR BACK. ELECTION VICTORIES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. THE NEW SIDNEY SWEENEY MOVIE, BOX OFFICE BUPCUS. APPARENTLY, HER NEW MAGA FAN BASE DIDN'T SHOW UP IN DROVES TO SEE A BIOPIC ABOUT A LESBIAN PROFESSIONAL BOXER WHO OVERCOMES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TO LIVE HER TRUTH. WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING? Democrats, you sold out the entire shutdown not to get what you wanted, but for a promise to not get what you wanted later. Where in the art of war, where, hold on, where, where in the art of, okay, here it is. I got it. Sun Tzu said, never press your advantage. It's unseemly. Fighting's hard. How about a snack? I can't believe it. And by the way, what good does a promise of a Senate vote even do for you, Democrats?
Jon Stewart 5:59
You don't control the Senate. Do you even know how this shit works? Let's just say, for schnicks, that you managed to win a vote in the Senate, which you haven't done all year. Do you know what happens then? I need, give me, hold on one second. Give me the thing. I want to show you.
I'm just a bill. Yes, I'm only a bill.
Jon Stewart 6:29
And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill. I can't stay mad at Bill. But the point is this. Let's say, let's just say you pass a bill out of the Senate that you don't control as Democrats. Guess what happens then? Now I go to the House of Representatives and they vote on me. They go to the House of Representatives. But they don't vote on me because Democrats don't control the House of Representatives either. Let's live in your eight-senator fantasy land. And you do. Let's say you somehow convince old Cowlick McBabyface to hold that House of Representatives vote, and you win that one as well. Guess what happens then?
Well, then I'm off to the White House where I waited in line with a lot of other bills for the president to sign. The president!
Jon Stewart 7:31
Yeah, yeah. You get it past the Senate, you get it past the House, and then the President of the United States.

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