The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman
06 May 2025
What ridiculous statements did Trump make this week?
You can't put a price tag on that. It gives me great solace. Anyway, like I said, I'm not trying to take these interviews personally.
I don't think a beautiful baby girl needs, that's 11 years old, needs to have 30 dolls.
First of all, I don't think we consider 11-year-olds baby girls. Second of all, you don't know what she needs. She's been through a lot this year. How many dolls would you get her? What is the appropriate number of dolls to get a beautiful baby 11-year-old girl, Mr. President?
I think they can have three dolls or four dolls.
It's just not that many dolls. I mean, okay, sure, she could have a small tea party with the dolls, but her dream had been a quasi-realistic conclave reenactment with dolls. That's what she wanted. But fine, fine. It's fine. It's fine. I'll just tell her the President of the United States said no. You know what? Doesn't matter. Dolls are not her only happy place anyway.
She also loves taking standardized tests. No, it's true. Very erudite. So I was thinking of getting her this wonderful baby's first SAT kit. It has all the Scantron sheets and around 250 number two pencils. She's going to go crazy.
She is going to love it. You don't need to have 250 pencils. They can have five.
Motherfucker! How dare you! What kind of a man would deny this poor girl her full complement of pencils for her dream standardized testing toy kit? Is that man crazy? A. Ebenezer Scrooge. B. The Grinch. C. An evil step-monster. Or D. All of the above. Oh, that's right. She can't answer because she's already used her entire pencil quota.
When Trump is talking about what people should do and get to like dolls and pencils, Trump has such a depression era view of what kids play with in 2025. Kids don't need 20 sets of those hoops you hit with a stick as you as you go down the street. Just one hoop is Jim Dandy.
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