Trump Tariffs Send Markets Plunging, Penguins Waddling to a Trade War | Scott Glenn

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 32 min 16 speakers 4 chapters transcribed
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What are Trump's tariffs and how have they affected the markets?

Announcer 1:17
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Michael Kosta. We've got so much to talk about tonight. America is on the operating table. Penguins are marching to a recession. The stock market parties like it's 1929. But the thing everyone's talking about now is Trump's big, beautiful tariffs. So let's get into the latest.
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 1:38
My favorite word. My favorite word.
Tariffs. Yesterday, Donald Trump announced sweeping tariffs across the entire globe. Asia, South America, Narnia, Arendelle, Wakanda, Bachelor Nation. If you can imagine it, Trump slapped a tariff on it. And today, the reviews came in.
News Reporter 2:03
Carnage on Wall Street. Markets falling, tumbling. Stocks plunging down, down, down. The Nasdaq's getting crushed. Small caps are getting crushed. This is a shock to the system. It is ugly out there. Worse than worst case scenario. Stocks are getting slashed and burned. Two and a half trillion dollars vaporized.
$2.5 trillion vaporized. Your kid's college fund disintegrated. Your 401k given the death penalty. Your pension waterboarded in Guantanamo. Those stocks your nana gave you 20 years ago accidentally stepped on a landmine while vacationing in Vietnam. Economists say we could be on the verge of a recession, so things are looking scary right now. But don't worry. The only thing the president is better at than negotiating is speaking soothing words of comfort in times of need.
Donald Trump 2:56
We have heard from President Trump. He took to Truth Social, wrote this. The operation is over. The patient lived and is healing. The prognosis is that the patient will be far stronger, bigger, better, and more resilient than ever before.
Boy, I feel so much better now. You know, I mean, always reassuring when the surgeon comes out screaming at the top of his lungs, the patient is fine! Everything is going great! Does anybody have a mop? The thing is, the patient didn't need major surgery. We just needed a teeth cleaning. Keep it clean and shiny. No one wants to wake up from heart surgery to their dental hygienist shouting, I think he's going to live. Also, the patient is going to be bigger? Was the surgery a penis enhancement? If so, what kind? Was it latex injections, scrotoplasty, ligament extension, ventral phalloplasty, a fat transfer to enhance girth? I mean, I think those are the options. I don't know. Now, look, you could argue that it's bad that my retired 78-year-old mom is polishing up her resume now, but to Donald Trump, it's all worth it because we're correcting a grave injustice.
News Reporter 4:17
President Trump says the higher penalties come in response to tariffs those countries impose on American products they import.
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 4:23
Reciprocal, that means they do it to us and we do it to them. Very simple.
Yeah, it's very simple in that it is simply not true. All right? The reality is that the numbers on his board are not the tariffs other countries are charging us. They actually represent the trade deficit between the U.S. and those countries, meaning we buy more stuff from them than they buy from us. I'm just going to repeat this. Those numbers don't represent the tariffs.

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