I Feel Like We Should Fight More in Front of Our Kids
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What healthy conflict looks like in parenting?
Their oldest will be 16 in February. But she came home from a friend's house the other day and brought up something. She said, hey, mom and dad, like, I feel like you haven't prepared us for the real world. So, like, alarms start going off.
You're so awesome. You're so awesome. I'd high five you if you were sitting right here. What up? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Talking to you about your marriage, your relationships, your mental and emotional health, whatever you got going on in your life, your kids, your schools. I don't know what's going on in your world. I know mine is B-A-N-A-S. Kelly, how is your world these days?
Fine. I don't know how to answer that question. You've never asked me that.
That's not true.
How can parents prepare kids for real-world challenges?
Pretty much 100% true.
I always ask you how things are going.
Yeah, but not on the show, like starting a show like that. It's usually not like that. It's fine.
Is your life going like Kelly's is? This show is for you. It was so bad and chaotic, you can't even talk about it. If you want to be on the show, give me a buzz. 1-844-693-3291. Shows for real people going through real challenges. Like Kelly. Like Kelly. I won't talk about your personal challenges on this show, but God help me. You're my personal challenge. That is true. That is very true. If you want to be on the show or you go to johndeloney.com slash ask, I would love to have you. We get calls from all over planet Earth and we'd love for you to reach out and leave a message or fill out the form and we'll see if we can get back to you and get you on the show. All right, let's go out to Dayton, Ohio and talk to Joey. What's up, Joey?
Why is it important to show conflict resolution?
Hey, Dr. John. How are you?
Awesome. How are you?
I'm doing well. I'm covered in snow up here, but other than that, we're great.
We don't know what that is down here in Nashville. Actually, we have a little bit of snow down here.
I used to live in Knoxville. I miss it.
How to foster open communication with teens?
Exactly. And can I just give you a quick shout-out? Joey was the name of my childhood crush on Dawson's Creek, and I named my daughter Josephine with the intention of her being named Joey, but it hasn't worked out.
No way. Yeah, it was a pretty great show.
It was the best. Okay, so what's up, Joey? How can I help?
So, yeah. So, my husband and I have been married. It'll be 18 years in August. Going really well. We're really happy. We have four kids. But it's brought up a couple of funny things. Our oldest will be 16 in February. So, heaven help us. But she came home from a friend's house the other day and brought up something. She said, hey, mom and dad, like, I feel like you haven't prepared us for the real world. So, like, alarm... start going off. Um, and we asked her to elaborate on it and she said, well, you guys are kind of like Disney parents because you don't cuss and you don't argue and you're constantly saying things like we love you and we support you and we're really uplifting. I know.
What role does relational equity play in parenting?
So I totally didn't see this coming because she said when she went to her friend's house, the parents were bickering and cussing and we're really coming down on her buddies. Um, and she's never seen that before. So she said that, you know, when it comes time for her to get married and have relationships, we haven't demonstrated constructive conflict resolution. Like, those are my words, obviously not my 16-year-old's words. But she's like, you guys never fight. Like, I don't know what that's going to look like when I get married. So then my husband and I have kind of been reeling with it. We don't know how to do that productively and not, you know, have the earth move from under our kids' feet because they've never seen that before.
But I also feel like we haven't prepared them well enough to go to battle on their own for when they're an adult.
So the, you're so awesome. You're so awesome. I'd high five you if you're sitting right here. So here's, here's meta number one. Okay. Your 16 year old doesn't get a vote.
Okay.
How to address uncomfortable situations with kids?
The fact that your child can get through high school without their parents ever screaming and cursing at them is a huge win.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What healthy conflict looks like in parenting?
0:05–0:56
2
How can parents prepare kids for real-world challenges?
0:56–1:48
3
Why is it important to show conflict resolution?
1:48–2:04
4
How to foster open communication with teens?
2:04–3:12
5
What role does relational equity play in parenting?
3:12–4:15
6
How to address uncomfortable situations with kids?
4:15–5:16
7
What lessons can be learned from family dynamics?
5:16–44:48