I Only Feel Loved by My Wife When We Have Sex
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Why do young men equate love with sex?
I heard you say that a lot of young men nowadays only know how to give and receive love through sex. I felt a little pointed out when you said that. So I'd love to know, how does one learn how to receive love through other methods? And I really want to make it easier for my wife to love me.
How can one learn to receive love beyond intimacy?
Yo, what's going on? This is John. With the Dr. John Deloney Show, I'm so grateful that you are with us talking about your mental and emotional health and your relationships. Whatever you got going on in your crazy, crazy life. Whew, man. We all have it. I've got it. Everybody's got it. Kelly especially has it. Kelly, the show producer. So much so that she wore all of her necklaces today. Blang, blang. Do you have a pinky ring that costs about 50? No?
No, I don't. I do have on my yellow rose a Texas gold ring, though. That's all I got.
That cost about $10.
Hey, actually, no, it didn't.
Ah, here we go. Hey, if you want to be on this show, I'd love to have you. 1-844-693-3291. Give me a call. For you texters out there, yes, you'll have to call, but a human won't answer. It will just be a recording, and you can leave a message or shoot us a note at johndeloney.com slash ask. And big time, big time, if you'll hit the subscribe button, if you will share these episodes with your friends, leave five-star reviews, it makes a huge, huge difference for us. Let's roll out to Cleveland, Ohio and talk to Adam. Hey, Adam, what's up?
Hey, Dr. John. It's delighted. I'm delighted to talk to you today.
I'm glad that you called, man. And for those of you who aren't Adam, it took us a long time to get this show rolling this morning because we had lots of technical difficulties because... Ben doesn't like hitting record. I don't know, I'm just blaming you because I saw you at a corner of my eye, Ben. But no, it's all good, man. Adam, what's up?
Okay, so a while ago, I heard you say that a lot of young men nowadays only know how to give and receive love through sex. that I felt a little pointed out when you said that. So I'd love to know how does one learn how to receive love through other methods? You said it was, I think you've said in the past, it's effectively the only tool in their toolkit. Yes. And I, for example, I definitely love words of affirmation, but nothing gives me those feelings of love like sex does. And I really want to make it easier for my wife to love me and has been difficult for us.
Oh, man. Oh, gosh. I say you're not. You sound like a love languages guy. Yes, a little bit. Okay. I don't believe in the takedown. There's whole podcasts and authors and whatever. Their whole life is just all they do is go around and take down other people. So I'm not really into that. I will say that I think the love language phenomenon, the five love languages and all of the various whatevers, it's fine as an aha and as a good conversation moment between partners. It can be cool to be reflective. But it's not real. and I think we end up sometimes those love languages get weaponized as you have to do this because this is the only way that I am programmed and if you don't do this then you're choosing to not love me instead of it being like huh yeah like I have a bent this way or I kind of lean this way so tell me about what love looks like in your house you got kids
Yeah, I got three boys. Um, I am extremely affectionate with them. Um, I would say more so that than anything else. Uh, my wife is a little bit more, she seems to enjoy quality time with them. Um, and this guy is always pushing me to spend more quality time with them and try to speak their love languages. Um, but, uh, I mean, as far as what love looks like, that's about it. Um, we, I'm, I'm, we try to say nice things to our kids too. Like, you know, proud of them, think that they're awesome, et cetera.
What does love look like for you?
Um, I guess I, I think like, like I said, it feels like sex. Um, and, um, you know, my, my wife would say nice things to me and that feels nice. Um, but then you're like, okay, prove it. Yeah, kind of. It almost feels like, all right, we're going upstairs now.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do young men equate love with sex?
0:05–0:29
2
How can one learn to receive love beyond intimacy?
0:29–4:44
3
What challenges do couples face in seeking parental approval?
4:44–9:20
4
How can love languages complicate relationships?
9:20–12:39
5
What does love look like in a busy family life?
12:39–19:04
6
Why is it hard to feel loved by a spouse?
19:04–42:32
7
How to navigate difficult family dynamics?
42:32–51:10
8
What steps can couples take to improve their relationship?
51:10–1:07:32