My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
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How can I move on from my ex-husband's affair?
How can I move on from my ex-husband's affair and focus on raising my child? He was engaging in an affair with a girl from work. And at that time, he moved her into our family home.
Wait a minute. He moved his person he's having the affair with into y'all's house? What is going on? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. A Texan who found himself living in Nashville for the last, golly, dude, almost half decade. How long have we been here? Seven years now? Long time. Taking your calls on your... on your emotions, your mental and emotional health, your relationships, your marriages, whatever you got going on in your life. I just got back from Texas shooting a Chris Williamson show, Modern Wisdom, and he was super kind and super hospitable. I had a great time. It was awesome just being back in Texas. Made me a little bit happy. Made me a little bit happy.
And also, man, I love coming back to Nashville where water falls from the sky a few times a week. It's pretty great. All right, let's go out to Seattle, home of Alice in Chains, and talk to Renee. Hey, Renee, what's up?
Hi, Dr. John. Thank you for taking my call.
Of course. What's up?
So my question is, how can I move on from my ex-husband's affair and focus on raising my child?
What happened? I'm so sorry.
So I kind of wrote it all down, so I'll say it really quick. Yeah, read it. I wrote, my ex and I met in 2015 through work. We dated, and in 2021, we bought our house and got married. In May of 2022, I found out I was pregnant. Around the same time, I also learned he was engaging in an affair with a girl from work who is 10 years younger than him. Over the duration of my pregnancy, he turned into someone I didn't recognize. He was very abusive and began doing drugs and drinking heavily with this girl. Our son was born in February of 2023, and he was not super present. So I was on maternity leave, and I decided to go visit my family over here in Seattle and get some support from them. And at that time, he moved her into our family home.
And so I could not go back home.
Wait a minute. He moved his person he's having the affair with in y'all's house?
Jeez.
So their child was born in January of 2024. Okay. And I actually just recently found out she's pregnant again. Are you divorced officially? Yes, our divorce is finalized in December. Do you have full custody?
100%?
Yes, yeah. It's in our parenting plan that he has to get some help before he can be involved in our son's life.
All right, so this is going to be a really hard thing I'm about to say to you, okay?
Okay.
I want you to block them both. I don't want you to know what's going on in his life with his new affair partner. It's going to make you insane. The courts have split y'all up. You have 100% custody. You never saw yourself as a single mom, and here we are.
Yeah.
Okay? Every time you get online, every time you hear the rumors, are y'all still working at the same place?
No, no. So I live in Seattle. They live about five hours away. And they're actually not together anymore. Of course they're not.
He's just a complete and utter scumbag.
Yeah.
Yeah. Of course they're not together. God almighty. I'm so sorry. But listen, I know this is hard. And there's a lot of things we could talk about moving forward. But this is ground zero. You can't look back.
Yeah.
And unfortunately, you were with somebody, you married somebody, you bought a house with somebody, you made a human with somebody who's just a terrible guy. He lacks complete and utter character. And if you've listened to the show, you know I don't talk about people who struggle with addiction that way. This is a person who completely and utterly lacks character.
Yeah. Yeah.
And so we're going to, we're going to have to move forward. We're gonna have to look forward. And the first step there is just owning reality. Tell me about reality. Did y'all sell that house? I'm assuming.
Um, no. So he actually stopped paying on it. So it went into foreclosure. Luckily, um, the deed, like it's only in his name. Oh, okay. I help pay for things. Um, so that'll just hit his credit, which is fine. Um, And then, I mean, I moved over to Seattle. I have built a life for my son and I, I guess.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
How can I move on from my ex-husband's affair?
0:05–6:58
2
What should I do about my husband's infidelity?
6:58–8:30
3
How do I handle my child's relationship with their father?
8:30–23:28
4
What are the signs of a healthy relationship?
23:28–29:59
5
How can I communicate effectively with my partner about intimacy?
29:59–32:22
6
What should I do if my husband is avoiding intimacy?
32:22–56:28