My Wife Suddenly Wants a Divorce After 23 Years
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Why does Dave's wife want a divorce after 23 years?
I've been married for 23, almost 24 years, and my wife told me just a few weeks ago that she's leaving me and she wants a divorce.
I'm sorry. Me too. What I'm going to say next is not popular, and it's just real as I can possibly be. Is that okay? What in the world is going on in your life today? In your head, in your chest, in your relationships. I'm John Deloney, and I'm the host of The Dr. John Deloney Show, and I'm so grateful that you are with us. Talking about your mental and emotional health, your marriages, your parenting, your kids, your schools, whatever you got going on in your life. Here's my promise. I'll sit with you. Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we just sit in silence for a second. But I'll sit with you, and we will figure out what's the next right move for you, for your kids, for your marriage, whatever you got going on. If you want to be on this show, this is real people, man. This is as real as it gets, going through real challenges. Give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291 or go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K.
All right, let's roll out to Arlington Heights, Illinois, and talk to Brother Dave. Hey, Dave, what's up, man?
Hi, John. How's it going? I'm a little nervous because this is serious. I'm a little emotional. I've been married for 23, almost 24 years, and my wife told me just a few weeks ago that she's leaving me and she wants a divorce. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Me too. And she won't talk about it. She won't consider anything. She said there's no point. And that's it. And ever since then, it's been like waking up to a nightmare every day.
Is this a grenade pin that she pulled out of nowhere? Or have y'all been struggling? Has she been struggling personally? What's the challenge?
It is a grenade, but she has been struggling, and she's been struggling with perimetopause. Okay. And I've been trying to do whatever I can, and we got her one of those tests. She's tried a few things, and she's just wildly unhappy in general. She's been unhappy for a long time?
All right.
Okay.
She's just tired with her lot in life?
That's what it seems like. Okay. But now it seems like it's just me.
Yeah.
You know, like, it's all pointed at me.
Well, let me say this. You're the punching bag here, okay? And... you're going to be responsible for the bomb blast, right? You've got four kids whose lives are about to get blown up, right? I know. But also, you know as well as I do, intellectually, it doesn't matter because the pain is in your chest, but you know this isn't all on you. Right? Yeah. You know that. And that doesn't... I want you to hear that a year from now when you're coming out of the fog. That's not going to help right now. Right now it just sucks and I'll sit with you, man. I'm sorry. Thank you. So a not uncommon thing... And so I'm not trying to offer a glimmer of hope. I'm just trying to speak as honest as I can and get a fuller picture of what you're experiencing.
Sometimes when somebody is struggling with life change, with this is, oh my gosh, this is gonna be my life. I'm sick of being a mom of four kids. I'm sick of being a dad who works, like all that. And then you try medical interventions. Then you try going into counseling. Sometimes just trying on the words, I wanna divorce. is almost kind of like a fantasy. Yeah. So since she said that, has there been any sort of meeting with attorneys, paperwork? Have you been served papers? Or has it just been like, I hear this, I don't want to say common, but more than I've ever heard in the last few years, just this announcement, I don't want to be married to you anymore. But then life just keeps going the same way it has been.
she's moving swiftly. I mean, there's been no serving of papers because I told her we got to work it out and figure out how we're going to do this. We haven't told the kids yet, but she's looking at mortgages and townhouses and she's bopping around like, and I asked her about it yesterday and she said that, you know, what I don't see is that she's upset and she's, you know, whatever, but
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