COLD CUTS: Livin' The Dream

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The Hauraki Big Show 14 min 5 speakers 6 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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How did the hosts introduce the show and set the tone for this bonus best-bits episode?

Jase Hoyte 0:01
The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.
Jason Hoyte 0:07
Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 37 minutes past 6 o'clock. Let's have some meat patty nips.
Unknown 0:20
Get in touch with the fellas.
Jason Hoyte 0:28
If you don't know what meat patty nips are, with the fellas.
Mike Minogue 0:33
I don't trust that at all. Good on you, Jason. It's an advice segment.
Jason Hoyte 0:37
It's been done now.
Mike Minogue 0:38
We got the audience to pick our email address and they voted for meetpaddynips69 at gmail.com. That has now been set up. If you need advice on anything, we're 100% anonymous and if we read it on the show, you get a prize. So it's worth doing and fellas, we're starting to run low. Are we? Yeah, I'm just saying. I'm just letting the listeners know we're running low.
Karl Urban 0:54
Maybe we need to be a bit more specific. I think the fact that it's so general is probably what was putting people off. How about we ask if you need any help with your sex life? Why don't we just start with that?
Mike Minogue 1:05
Why don't you just say whatever you want?
Karl Urban 1:07
Because then people don't. But if we say, you know, if you've got specific issues. Like erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction. Just as an example. Sure. Just for example. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to email and then what are we going to do?
Jason Hoyte 1:20
Pre-ejaculation, for example. Yes, yes.
Karl Urban 1:22
Yeah, a bit quick. Yeah.

What prompted the creation of the anonymous advice email '[email protected]' and how will it be used?

Karl Urban 1:23
A bit quick to the party, ain't you? Leaking nipples. Yes. I used to have that. Yeah, yeah. I could squeeze my left nipple, Keezy, and absolute all sorts would come out. Yeah, yeah. That is disgusting. What do you mean, yeah, yeah, yeah?
Mike Minogue 1:37
Weird circumcisions. Yes. So you say, let's just make this all about filth, is what you say. It's not filth at all.
Karl Urban 1:43
It's not filth. It's just a human body, Keezy. And when you call it filth, you actually attach shame to these problems. Thank you, Mogi. I was just about to say that.
Mike Minogue 1:50
But all sorts coming out of your left nipple is disgusting.
Yeah.
Karl Urban 1:54
Well, now I feel like I've never mentioned it.
Mike Minogue 1:56
Yeah. Hey, guys, really good question here has come in from Anonymous. G'day, fella. Long-time listener, first-time caller. Bit of a relationship dilemma. I need some advice. I'm currently coming to the end of my stint here in London and have met a lovely girl here who is keen to move home together with me back to New Zealand. I've recently been offered a job in Barcelona, however. Ooh. And I'm bloody keen to tuck into it. Ooh. Basically, my question is, how should I tell her that I'm leaving her for a life of cervezas and beach buzzies and do I do it over text or email? Cheers.
Karl Urban 2:29
Can I say the beauty of a romance when you're living in a country that's not your own is mystery. Mystery.

How do the hosts discuss sexual health topics and normalize embarrassing body issues on-air?

Karl Urban 2:38
So I think rather than a text, rather than an email, rather than a meeting in person, I think he just vanishes at one point. Yes, very good. And she never knows what's happened to him. Has he moved back to New Zealand? Has he moved to Barcelona? Has he been murdered and thrown in the Thames? She'll never know. Yeah.
Mike Minogue 2:55
And that's good, right? That is sexy. For who?
Yeah.
Mike Minogue 2:58
For everyone involved. What, him being murdered and thrown in the Thames? How's that sense? Well, not literally. He hasn't been, though.
Jason Hoyte 3:06
No, I know, but... He's just scarpered without saying a word. See, my initial...
Mike Minogue 3:11
My initial instinct is that that's coward. You know, you've got to say it to her. Like, look, we're young. I've been offered a job in Barcelona. I want to go.
Jason Hoyte 3:17
So you're saying that he should say to her, I'm moving to Barcelona for buddies on the beach.
Mike Minogue 3:25
No, he doesn't need to say that last part. You just say, I'm moving to Barcelona. I'm too young. I don't want to go back to New Zealand yet.
Karl Urban 3:30
But how many people in her life are going to tell her that they don't want to be with her anymore? 30? 50?
Mike Minogue 3:36
Well, I don't think so. Maybe one. One or two.
Karl Urban 3:38
But how many are going to disappear and could have been chopped up and thrown into the Thames? Why into the Thames? Well, he lives in London.
Mike Minogue 3:46
Yeah.
Karl Urban 3:47
Yeah, so the Thames. There's no other rivers there.
Mike Minogue 3:49
Why rivers?
Karl Urban 3:50
I don't know.
Mike Minogue 3:51
Makes sense. Okay, so we're all voting for, and it's obviously a majority rule.

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