Chapter 1: What makes Mike feel sprightly today?
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Welcome to the Hodaki Big Show. Really big.
With Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Oh, g'day you mad bastards. It is the 23rd of April, 2026. And as always, you are listening to the Hodaki Big Show. Brought to you by Toledo's. I love Toledos. Toledos.co.nz if you'd like some of New Zealand's finest natural electrolyte beverages.
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Far out, Pugson. Man, I thought that would have been you doing that little line there, but Keezy's just looked at you and he thought, this guy's not up to it. I don't know whether it's because he knows you as a person, because you're in absolute pieces after getting pissed off your head last night at the OB down in Dunedin, at Emerson's, or what the guts is, man.
So how does that make you feel, bro? Man, nothing gets past you, old bogey, eh? Is that what happened there, man? What? Because you were just about to start doing that little Toledo's line there, and then old Keezy.
Mogi. I looked at Pugs, and I saw a man. A shell of a man. It was like a deer in headlights. Yeah. There was nothing happening there. I've looked at his computer. There's literally nothing on there other than buzzies. He didn't know what he was doing, and so I just dived in there with a sort of half-assed Toledo's plug. Well, I knew what I was doing. Yeah. It was the buzzies on the computer.
You were doing that. Hey, Moggy, how are you today, mate? Because you're very sprightly.
Yeah, man, I'm feeling good. Here's the thing, fellas. Old Horty Jizzbot is away. He's gone away for a long weekend. He's gone over to Australia there. You guys are both hungover. I'm on the wagon, so I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve. And nothing makes me feel better than seeing in real life the benefits of my actions, which is that I am on the wagon. I'm not drinking.
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Chapter 2: Why is Keezy concerned about his bets?
I don't get to feel the hangover. So when I see people that are hungover, it brings me great joy. Even though I myself are sick at the moment, I feel like a million dollars. Like, I've never felt better. I don't know if it makes me a piece of shit for feeling so good about you guys being pieces of shit.
Yeah. But here we are, man. I've never seen you this energized. Oh, I'm pumped. Yeah. I am pumped. Speaking of that, being pumped, old pug son, how are you today, mate?
I'm well, thank you, Keezy. That's not true, man. Always a pleasure to be here with you fellas. Very grateful. We had a great time yesterday in Dunedin. So it's great to be back on the show. Pokes, can you just be honest with the audience, please?
What's that? Before the show, before the show, he dropped an orange on the ground and almost burst into tears. I did not drop an orange on the ground.
That is a bold-faced lie.
And it's unreal, isn't it? It's, you know, we asked him another question. I asked him a question, you know, which is about partying, man. And he said, look, can you ask me on Tuesday? He's in no position to answer that question today. He's going to need until Tuesday to answer that question. Needed a couple of business days in the weekend as well. That'd be great. Oh, man, you're terrible.
You were shocking last night as well. Anyway, short story is, this show's going to be great for me, maybe not for anybody else. Yeah, bloody good.
Hey, Mogi, speaking of, what's coming up on the show?
What's happening on The Big Show with Old Mogi? Very limited opportunities, fellas, to get into the draw for Magic Round. Listen out for the queue to call. Ring us on the old phone there. 0800 Hauraki. We're drawing this next Friday, fellas.
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Chapter 3: What happened during the Dunedin live show?
I'm feeling real good.
Yeah. Even though I was real well. Actually, I'd had a couple of days off before heading into Dunedin, but I went down because, you know. What? You know. What? You can say it.
What?
You had no leave. Oh, backbone. I needed the money.
And so I rocked up, and I was on antibiotics, flu medication, throat lozenges, all sorts of things. My voice was absolutely gone by the end of the show, to be honest. There was about 400 backbones down there, would you say, around about?
I'd say so, yeah.
Absolutely heaving, including the outdoor area. And all the while, you guys were just living it up. I was feeling a bit unwell, but you guys were just smashing beers. Absolutely smashing beers. No, I wouldn't say responsibly. Well, no, responsibly the hazed and confused. You weren't paying for them. The hazed and confused turned 10 years old. That's why we're down there.
But, yeah, you guys are just sort of knocking them over. And I think when there's no price to pay, literally, then there's going to be a price to pay at some point. And because you were drinking free beers ā That's why you find yourselves in the situation you are now, Keezy, where you're hunched over with your arms folded, you're slow blinking.
Pugzart over here has got the most bloodshot eyes I've ever seen on a man in my life. Just driving by on this. Oh, God. Yeah.
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Chapter 4: How does Pugs feel about his hangover?
Jase has made a bet, as have you, with me for $100 each that Jase won't get on the vape or smoke darts in the month of May. And so in preparation for that, he's having as much nicotine as he can possibly squeeze in, any way he can squeeze it in.
So I'm looking for, if he lasts for a week of May, I'll be shocked. Do you reckon, because I've been wanting to talk about this, when it gets to the end of May 31st or 30th or whatever the hell it is, Derek and he'll then just straight away get on the darts the next day, the vape, the first day of June.
What are you talking about? He'll be on it well before the 31st of May.
What do I have to do?
Can I give you 50 bucks right now?
We'll just call it off?
No, no. No, it's going to be funny, mate. We've got to talk more about this as well, actually, I think, because he is having something of a shocker.
100%. He was out of control last night, actually. And we had a pizza party in his room afterwards. That was great. It was all right. We'll get into that a little later on as well. In the meantime... Koozie's hungover.
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Chapter 5: What are the upcoming events on The Big Show?
Koozie's hungover and he's stumbling on his words. Come on, man. Garbage. It's the Hodaki Big Show.
The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.
All apologies, Nirvana, on the Hauraki Big Show. 24 minutes past 4 o'clock this Thursday afternoon.
So we went to Dunedin, didn't know B, yesterday. All tooted off back to our hotel room.
Chapter 6: What are the details about the Magic Round?
You, Keezy, and you, Pugs, are a little bit later than everyone else. And by everyone else, I mean me and Hoiti Jizzbot. Yeah. As soon as the show ends, we like to leave immediately.
Yeah, well, the way Jase loves it is to have the Uber outside pre-booked with the door open, and then as soon as he says, all right, you mad bastards, you know, we'll see you tomorrow, boom, straight to the Uber. We'll smuggle him out like a president.
Certainly what happens down in Dunedin is around about a quarter to six, it turns. It does turn. It becomes almost thoroughly unenjoyable. The young lads from the Castle Street flat were there. There's about 16 of them. There may be 22 of them that live in the flat. I'm not sure. There was another flat. That was a different one. Yeah, right.
All animals, all hammered, all chanting, Keezy, show us your nips, et cetera, et cetera, really objectifying you sexually, Keezy, if I can say that. And that makes me feel sick on so many different levels.
Well, if you want, we can stop banging on about my nips then. I mean, that might help.
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Chapter 7: What are the thoughts on the Warriors vs. Dolphins match?
I don't know. The whole show would fall apart, and you know that. Yeah, that's true, actually.
Anyway, then I'm lying in bed, and my phone starts lighting up on the chat there as you guys start talking about the pizza party, the old pizza party, which has become a tradition. Back in Hoyley J's room when we go on an OB, there's a pizza party. The other tradition is that I don't get invited.
Funny thing is, this is the thing with the pizza party, right? Every day on the show, we go, Mogi, what's the plan tonight? And you'll be like, oh, I'm going to go home. I don't know why my wife's cooked. I don't know what's for dinner, but I'll probably be in bed at about 8. Yeah. Those texts were coming through at about 9.13. Yeah. We knew you'd already be asleep. And you're also unwell, Matt.
That's shocking, isn't it? I mean, these are the kind of excuses you're coming up with. We're not even going to bother asking you because you may or may not be asleep. Is that what we're saying? You're also in the group chat. It's so unbelievable. And I don't want to jump in and get involved in a conversation that is directly happening between the three other members of the big show.
Right, you guys are all talking to each other directly. No mention of me whatsoever there. It becomes quite clear that I'm not welcome at all. And at no point does anybody go, oh, actually, Mogi, it doesn't occur to any of you.
Right, but seriously, Mogi, seriously, I was at the pizza party, right? How? I ordered the pizza. Yeah. And we went outside and had a durry. Well, pug sundered. Excuse me. Excuse me. And then the pizza showed up, and then we went up to the room there, Jase's room, tiny room as well, very small, and we ate pizza. Oh, so there's no room for me.
It was sort of like a three-person kind of room, you know what I mean?
Yeah. We're at capacity, man. But I was also, the whole time, not one point did I think, you know who'd love this? Old Mogi.
You are bang on. There's nothing going on in that room that you would have sat down for.
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Chapter 8: How does the team handle rumors and personal stories?
Jase was watching Reels with his skull candies on, and I was just sitting there by myself in this room going, why did I leave the pub? And every five minutes going...
How many darts you got, Pugs? Yeah.
No, I wasn't. Yes, you were. And you were fast asleep and had been for two hours. Do you want to come to the next one? We're going to have one at Magic Round. Would you like to come? No, thanks.
The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.
Welcome back. The Big Show. Magic Round 3B. Let's put another mad bastard on the bench.
That's right, Magic Round with the big show. We are heading back to Brisbane. Three nights, Suncorp Stadium, eight games of Rugby League. The Warriors taking on the Brisbane Broncos, who are the defending premiers, their mogi. They're going to be without a lot of their players. So if the Warriors can, fingers crossed, keep their great form up.
We can be watching the Warriors fans who traditionally at Magic Round are the most, they turn out the most. They do. They represent the most up against the Brisbane fans who are from Brizzy, love the Broncos, always go to Suncorp. That is going to be a packed stadium. Who's out for Brizzy? You've got Payne Haas out. You've also got Reece Walsh is a bit iffy with a facial fracture. Yeah, right.
He'll probably be back by then, but there's just a few players a bit iffy. And so that's going to be a packed stadium. I wouldn't be surprised if that is the most atmospheric of all the games of the weekend.
Atmospheric.
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