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The Hauraki Big Show

OUTRO BITS: Jase Gets Stabbed

22 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the highlights of the Big Show podcast?

0.757 - 15.154 Jase

For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast. Get up even closer. On Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or raw dog it. Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Hodecki.

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15.387 - 21.301 Unknown

The first nude woman I ever saw... Oh, God. ...was a penthouse that my mate Colin showed me.

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21.481 - 21.641 Keezy

Colin?

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21.661 - 27.976 Unknown

And I was too young to see it. Right. Because it was quite a full-on image. Yeah. And I was like 10 or something.

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28.036 - 28.818 Keezy

I think you're probably right.

Chapter 2: What embarrassing childhood experiences are shared?

28.838 - 31.143 Keezy

They're quite scarring, those images.

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31.244 - 37.507 Unknown

Hang on, Jase, before you one-up my story. Playboy is tasteful. It's like them lying there looking all hot, but whatever it is.

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37.627 - 41.213 Keezy

But it's not explicit. No, it's not explicit. It's soft core. It is.

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41.393 - 46.22 Unknown

And then Penthouse is like, yo, here is a big old member doing some shit.

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46.24 - 46.861 Keezy

Yeah.

46.981 - 48.604 Unknown

And my mate was like, hey, check this out, man.

48.644 - 54.793 Keezy

Well, Penthouse was more the leg spread, but then there was another one, which was Larry Flint. What was his one?

54.773 - 56.516 Unknown

Oh. Wasn't that Penthouse?

Chapter 3: How did a childhood incident involving a knife unfold?

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57.077 - 59.581 Unknown

No, that was. The Woody Harrelson movie.

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59.641 - 63.508 Keezy

Yeah, and that was the one where they had Hustler. Oh, Hustler. That was the one where they had the sex scene.

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63.528 - 71.481 Unknown

Yeah, right, okay. Yeah. And I just, hang on. I was just going to say, carry on. It was scarring, because at the time I was reading mostly like K-Zone magazine, which is like for kids.

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71.501 - 73.284 Keezy

And Tom Hardy and, yeah, Famous Five.

73.565 - 81.462 Unknown

Oh, no, that's quite old now. But yeah, and then all of a sudden it's just like, boom, check out this lady's. You know what I mean?

81.502 - 85.187 Mike

I had exactly the same experience with one of my – and I was about 10 too.

85.207 - 87.489 Unknown

Right, so it would have been like a scroll or something.

87.609 - 107.434 Mike

Yeah, and we had at our school, at our boarding school, we had what we called boot rooms where you'd keep all your boots. Oh, like a mud room, what do they call it? But he said, Jase, Jase, come and check this out, man. And it was a penthouse, and he showed me these pictures. And I still remember to this day just burning up with heat.

Chapter 4: What was Jase's reaction during the stabbing incident?

122.673 - 126.141 Keezy

Then he read the letters to the editor. Oh, made a little plan. Yeah, yeah. And then he...

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126.83 - 127.651 Mike

Beat off.

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128.072 - 129.513 Unknown

This is a great New Year's special, by the way.

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129.634 - 135.261 Mike

But I don't think I was beating off at that stage. I think we need to put a warning on the New Year's Eve special.

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135.721 - 137.363 Jase

Oh, my God.

137.383 - 139.686 Mike

On a Friday, Friday's Uber night.

139.746 - 140.387 Unknown

Takeaway night.

140.607 - 147.576 Mike

Yeah, it's a takeaway night. A special time. Yeah. And I just feel like at the moment I need some treats in my life.

147.816 - 150.66 Keezy

Do you? Yeah. Well, yesterday was a sugar-free day, wasn't it?

Chapter 5: What injuries did Jase sustain from the incident?

169.287 - 173.033 Unknown

Is it one of those things where it's like, as long as my wife's not around, I can do whatever I want situations?

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173.594 - 176.318 Keezy

Well, she was there, actually. Well, she wasn't when you had your red bull.

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176.338 - 179.583 Unknown

So is that the way your diet's going, though?

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179.603 - 182.588 Mike

Well, she actually got home and had a kombucha.

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182.568 - 183.329 Unknown

Yeah, that's fine.

183.429 - 193.459 Mike

Is that all right? 100%. And I said, yeah, that's all right, darling. But you know what was difficult, apart from the coffee, and I usually have a feed of Weet-Bix at the end of the night as well as my treat.

194.019 - 194.099 Keezy

God.

194.62 - 207.833 Mike

With a pile of fucking brown sugar, so I couldn't have that. But what made matters worse was that we had three Kit Kats in the old fridge there and couldn't eat those as well, and I was having a real urge for sugar.

209.095 - 216.11 Keezy

I'm amazed that you have one day a week where you don't eat sugar. Yeah. And that it's tough for you.

Chapter 6: How did Jase's friends react to the stabbing?

242.32 - 252.452 Keezy

You should. Nah. You should not be eating treats. Seven days a week and it's hard for you to go one day without. And in fact, if you haven't gone without, you had a Red Bull.

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252.713 - 261.987 Mike

Sometimes, as I say, my treat is Wheat Bix, which I don't think is too excessive. I reckon it's all G. I mean, fair enough. Pulled up with sugar on it. Yeah, there's a fair amount of sugar on it. Yeah.

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262.768 - 270.64 Unknown

But... Let's say we had dinner and the dinner has like a sauce that you put on the whatever. That's sugary. Are you allowed that? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, right. So it's just treats.

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271.141 - 276.089 Keezy

Yeah, it's basically treats. If you've got a... What dinner has a sugar sauce on it? That's dessert.

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276.449 - 284.301 Unknown

No, like, you know, most of the sauces that you, like a HelloFresher or a Foodbox type situation, the sauce is usually quite sweet and sugary for the sugar.

284.341 - 290.61 Mike

Yeah, yeah. I, like, for example, when I take you fellas out for dinner, Hoity J won't be having any pudding.

291.351 - 294.92 Unknown

No. No, because you're paying for it, so you'll... Yeah, you'll be trying to scrimp.

294.94 - 298.285 Keezy

Yeah, you'll be trying to save as much money as possible. You'll say, oh, we won't have dessert tonight.

298.305 - 299.106 Mike

Some sugar-free.

Chapter 7: What humorous moments occurred during the hospital visit?

302.952 - 306.878 Mike

And let me just put it on the record right now. There'll be no piss drinking either.

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306.898 - 308.079 Keezy

Oh, we'll be drinking piss all right.

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308.099 - 308.62 Mike

Oh, fucking oath.

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308.72 - 314.249 Keezy

I'm going to fall off the wagon just for that occasion. Just smashing wines.

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314.509 - 318.961 Unknown

Jase, why don't you wean yourself off of sugar in your coffee Right.

319.041 - 320.002 Keezy

Like an adult.

320.223 - 321.385 Unknown

Yeah, like an adult, by the way.

321.405 - 321.705 Keezy

Like a big boy.

321.745 - 329.138 Unknown

It tastes so good without sugar in it. So you wean yourself off that and then you can have a Kit Kat. You know what I mean? You're not like tripling down on sugar.

Chapter 8: What lessons can be learned from Jase's story?

356.732 - 367.622 Unknown

Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

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368.311 - 371.599 Mike

pretending to fight as our characters from D&D there.

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371.9 - 376.431 Keezy

Right. Can I just interject and ask you what your name was? Oh my God, I can't remember.

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376.451 - 379.999 Mike

Were you like an elf or something? I can't remember my name.

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380.019 - 381.042 Keezy

You'd be a little druid.

381.583 - 398.209 Mike

Yeah, I think I was a druid. Were you Hoggle? A druid. And he would have been some sort of muscular hero type. Yeah, most druids are. No, not the druid. My mate was the warrior type.

398.269 - 399.853 Keezy

Yeah, Aragorn sort of.

400.07 - 403.739 Mike

And we were seriously pretending to fight with all the sound effects.

403.759 - 406.165 Keezy

I don't know what my... What was he armed with? What were you armed with?

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