OUTRO: Family Matters [R18]

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The Hauraki Big Show 11 min 2 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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Why does the episode open with a content warning and what does it mean?

Jason Hoyte 0:00
Yeah, g'day, you massive backbones. Just to say we're going to put a disclaimer on this particular podcast. There may be some content not suitable for children. It's definitely not suitable for children, so definitely don't play it with the maroon. Yeah. Shock and burst. Yeah.
Unknown 0:13
Oh, yeah. Troll.
Unknown 0:26
Hey. For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or Raw Dog It, four to seven every weekday.
Jason Hoyte 0:30
On Radio Hauraki. G'day, fellas. Hello. What is the new name for our podcast, fellas? We haven't really settled on one, have we? No, we haven't. It's still the outro. I think the outro's pretty good. Yeah, well, I mean. I like it. It's got a ring to it. It does. It has a real ring to it compared to everything else. I feel like we can do better.
Mike Minogue 0:49
You call it the warm-up. Big show warm-up. The warm-up.
Jason Hoyte 0:55
The big show warm-up. Warm-up. The big show Rubdown. Oh, nice. But it's beforehand, isn't it?
Mike Minogue 1:03
Yeah.

How do the hosts debate renaming the podcast and what name ideas come up?

Jason Hoyte 1:05
What about Rub and Tug?
Mike Minogue 1:10
So it's like the podcast equivalent. Of a Rub and Tug. Is it? Is there always a happy ending? I suppose we always try to end on a high.
Jason Hoyte 1:19
We do. What's that, Keezy?
Mike Minogue 1:20
A happy ending. Yeah. It's a Rub and Tug.
Jason Hoyte 1:23
Oh, right.
Mike Minogue 1:23
Jase, come on, man. Don't act like you don't know what a happy ending is. You of all people.
Jason Hoyte 1:27
Oh, I mean, I know what a happy ending is, you know. And a massage. The boy meets the girl and they fall in love and get married. Live happily ever after. And live happily ever after. It's similar to that. Right, okay. The devil's in the details there. Yeah, I see.

What is a 'rub and tug' and how do the hosts describe its cultural context?

Jason Hoyte 1:40
And it's very popular in Australia. When I was living in Australia, very popular.
Mike Minogue 1:44
What's that? A happy ending, really?
Jason Hoyte 1:46
For people to go along to a rub and tug.
Mike Minogue 1:48
Wow.
Jason Hoyte 1:49
And at lunchtime or something like that. Right, okay. You pay, I think, about 40 bucks. Wow. And just get... Bit of a rub down. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Interesting, isn't it?
Mike Minogue 2:00
40 bucks. How do you know the price of that? Well, I guess the thing would be.
Jason Hoyte 2:02
Everyone used to talk about it. I, Keezy, could not bear to pay it. To me, that's the equivalent of gambling. There's so much shame associated with having to do that. I could never. Yeah.
Mike Minogue 2:13
But I don't think people should feel bad if they were doing it.
Jason Hoyte 2:15
Oh, yeah, I would certainly. If somebody said to me they were doing it. I would give them shit about it.
Unknown 2:23
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jason Hoyte 2:23
I mean, if they want to do it, that's entirely up to them.
Mike Minogue 2:27
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Jason Hoyte 2:27
No, I'm talking about mates of yours and mine, like just scumbags who are too lazy to do it themselves.
Mike Minogue 2:33
Like the old pug rub and tug.
Jason Hoyte 2:36
You must come away very relaxed. Rub and pug. It'd be like, you know, when you have a food coma. And so instead of going and having a big lunch. So you're so full. Yeah, you go and have a rub and tug. It would have the same effect. You come back to work feeling a bit woozy.
Mike Minogue 2:53
Yeah. You know what I mean? Do you feel woozy after it?
Jason Hoyte 2:55
You've lost your joie de vivre. I'm feeling very contented. I haven't had a rub and tug myself, Keezy. Well, you have. Not one that I've paid for.
Mike Minogue 3:04
With a rub and tug, do you get a good rub? I don't know.
Jason Hoyte 3:08
I'll give you a bit of a message.
Mike Minogue 3:10
Because if I was having a rubbing tuck, I'd want 55 minutes of it to be the rub.

How do the hosts compare paid massages to ‘happy endings’ and pricing details?

Mike Minogue 3:14
I'd want a genuine rub down.
Jason Hoyte 3:15
Well, you'd be safe there because it'd only take a minute for your tuck.
Mike Minogue 3:19
But in that case, I want 59 minutes of genuine deep tissue massage.
Jason Hoyte 3:24
That's probably more expensive, actually.
Mike Minogue 3:26
Yeah, it would be.
Jason Hoyte 3:27
I have a running joke with my wife, which is... What, a rubbing joke? No, a running joke, Mogi. And we'll be sitting on the couch and I'll say to her, so have you got the hot stones out, babe? And she'll go, yes. This is a joke about, like, having a hot stone massage. Jeez, you guys have a laugh, don't you?
Mike Minogue 3:48
Oh, we do.
Jason Hoyte 3:48
We have a chuckle.
Mike Minogue 3:49
It's funny when you say things out loud and you go, wow, my life's really boring.
Jason Hoyte 3:55
My life's tremendously exciting. And then I say, 45 deep tissue massage?
Mike Minogue 4:01
And she goes, yeah.
Jason Hoyte 4:05
She just knows that it's just... And then she thinks to herself. Fuck's sake.
Mike Minogue 4:10
Because you must have them as well. The ongoing one, I might have talked about it, is if we're in bed and it's late and my wife is going to sleep and then will get up and go to the toilet one last time before she goes to sleep, I'll be like, oh, you're off to work.

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