OUTRO: Most Boring Bleeps

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The Hauraki Big Show 11 min 4 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What opening promos and show info introduce the Hauraki Big Show podcast?

Unknown 0:00
For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast. Get up even closer. On Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or raw doggies. Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Hodak.
Jason Hoyte 0:15
Oh, g'day fellas. Hello.
Karl Urban 0:18
Just seen here on the emails, Jase, you wouldn't have seen this, man. Probably not, no. There's an email here from our wellness team here at NZME. And as part of their wellbeing programme, they're pleased to offer a complimentary 15-minute spinal health check with the New Zealand College of Chiropractic. They're a great opportunity to have your spinal health assessed, discuss any aches or discomforts you may be experiencing and receive advice on maintaining good posture and spinal well-being, Jase. I would be into that. Because you strike me as someone who's got a touch of the Bifidus.
Jason Hoyte 0:53
I've got to be honest. Well, no, I'm good as long as I'm moving.
Karl Urban 0:58
Oh, yeah.

What workplace wellbeing email offers a complimentary spinal health check?

Jason Hoyte 0:58
It's when I stop. Keep trucking. And, like, getting up off the couch. If I've just been walking around, I sit down on the couch for 20 minutes, I get up, I'm like, oh, fuck.
Karl Urban 1:08
Can I put it to you this way, Keezy? If this was 1981 and you had to go to work, middle of winter.
Mike Minogue 1:16
Right.
Karl Urban 1:16
And Jase was your car. You'd get up out of bed, you'd go outside, you'd start the car, you just leave it in neutral and you keep it running. Then you go back inside, you'd have a shower, a bit of breakfast, give it a good 30, 40 minutes, and then Hoity Joe's going to be ready to go. But once he's warmed up, he's sweet as.
Mike Minogue 1:34
But that's the difference though, Jase, is that if Hoity Joe was a car, maybe he would warm up.
Karl Urban 1:38
That's true, actually.
Mike Minogue 1:39
When we play golf still to this day, zero warm-up, straight into swinging, straight into my back hurts.
Jason Hoyte 1:45
I mean, I don't know how you guys are with this, but getting up in the morning, I'm the same.
Mike Minogue 1:50
I get up and I'm like, ah, fucking... Same here, but that's because you and I have the same issue, which is I think we both need a stiffer bed. Yeah, I think so. Because mine, fuck... Every morning I wake up with a sore back. Do you? Yes. And it's because of my beard. You've got to get that sore out.
Jason Hoyte 2:06
Well, interestingly, it's not that interesting, but to tell a story is when we were in Vietnam, we slept on hard beds. Have you been to Vietnam? Yeah, I went to Vietnam. I'll tell you about it one day, fellas.
Mike Minogue 2:17
Well, that's the thing.
Jason Hoyte 2:18
You said your back was great. We slept on hard beds the whole time. Well, firm beds, and my back problems disappeared.
Mike Minogue 2:24
Yeah, so it is 100%, and the softness of your couch will be the same thing. Same with my couch.
Jason Hoyte 2:28
My hernia hurts today, though. It's really getting a bit protruding. I might have to get it stitched back in.
Karl Urban 2:34
Do you find yourself, when you're sort of hanging around the house by yourself because your wife works, or you wander around the city by yourself, do you find yourself in conversation with your hernia, Jase? Just little chats, little asides?
Jason Hoyte 2:45
What I find with my hernia, Mogi, is I'm in a constant battle to not push it back in. But you're meant to push it back in. Yeah, I know, but it hurts so much when I do that.
Mike Minogue 2:56
And for the audience, where it is actually makes it look like you've got an outie belly button. Yes.

Why do the hosts joke about morning stiffness, beds and warming up?

Mike Minogue 3:02
But much grosser. Way grosser. So, yeah. So, Jase, do you currently have an outie?
Jason Hoyte 3:08
I don't think, I think it's gone back in again.
Karl Urban 3:09
Do you know what you should do, Jase? is you should get a tattoo and you should tattoo the hernia red, like a button, and then over the top of it put something like... Push to reset or... Push to start. Yeah, if in a hurrah of a mood, press to reset.
Mike Minogue 3:29
Press to put in hurrah of a mood. Sorry, excuse me. Jesus. Holy far out. Right, Keezy? Press to put Jason to a hurrah of a mood. By the way, that Meadow Fresh thing there. Oh, yeah. I was listening to the breakfast show. It's an experiment. Oh, is it? Yeah, they've got Stephen Adams to sign it and then they're just leaving it there because they reckon one of us is going to steal it.
Karl Urban 3:46
Oh, really?
Mike Minogue 3:46
Yeah.
Karl Urban 3:47
No, no, I was told not to touch it because it means so much to Gerry. Nah.
Jason Hoyte 3:52
And I'm not a basketball fan, so I'm not that interested.

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