OUTRO: The Keyzies Are Coming To Town
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How do the hosts kick off today’s Big Show and social channels?
For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer. On Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok. Or raw dog it. Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Horeca.
Oh, g'day, fellas. Oh, backbone, Keezy.
Morning. Hello. Thank you.
How's everyone going this morning? I'm tired this morning. Yeah, same. All right. Had an absolutely shit sleep.
I had a good sleep last night. I'm ready to go.
Why are the hosts talking about being tired and sleep habits?
My sleep was worse.
Can you carry the show then, Moby? My sleep was worse than yours, Jase.
Why is that, Keezy? What happened?
Tell us about your sleep, Keezy man. Actually, no, it was fine, but I just wasn't able to go to sleep until quite late. What time are we talking here? 10.45. 10.45? And that really does fuck you up on breakfast. It does, yes. Because usually I'm like 9.30.
Are you in bed?
Yeah, I was in bed, yeah.
Just rolling around there.
I've been in bed like sort of 8.45 most days this week. Shit.
Yeah. I've been sort of running 9 o'clock. But I was in bed.
He's staying up later than you, Keezy.
I was in bed at 9.30 last night and then woke up at 12.30. And I went. What for? Well, just thinking. Did you set your alarm? No, just thinking that it was, you know, close to four. That was my vibe. Went out to the kitchen there and looked at the clock and went.
I love how you have to go out to the kitchen to know what the time is.
Well, I also wanted to have, you know, some water. You don't have water beside your bed, Jase. No, I don't. Neither do I. And it annoys me every time when I wake up and I need like a water. And I go, why do I never fucking have a glass of water by the bed? And yet. And yet.
Well, you think to yourself, well, I've got to go out and look at the time. Yeah, exactly. It'll probably be when I get up anyway. So you know what I mean? I hear you, man. Yeah, man. It's probably where I drink my most water is during the night. I'm waking up just sucking it. I was going to say, doesn't your wife complain about you fucking gulping your water? She does, yeah. And then you do like five wheeze. But what doesn't she complain about? Am I right? What does it sound like? She's like, what are you doing? I was like, drinking water. Again?
I love it. But also you've got to add in the five wheeze that it then induces as well. So you drink your water. That's not what it sounds like when you're drinking water. And then 20 minutes later, it's like, oh, no. 20 minutes. And then you go to the toilet and you piss right in the middle of the water with a powerful stream. And you piss in the water and you go.
What funny night-time routines and missing bedside water do they joke about?
Which sounds like this. Yeah. Actually, I did that this morning because I go into the second toilet when I'm doing my ablutions.
Oh, Mr. Two-Shitters. Look at this guy. Rich guy. Two-Shitters.
And I creep into the second toilet to do my ablutions. Creepy guy. And this morning, and it's quite echoey in my bathrooms, I let rip. Oh. And I didn't even intend to either. It was just a massive fart, really loud.
At the risk of doing a hoity-jay here, maybe I need to start recording mine. The ones that I was doing, I don't even need to do poos. It's just the farties. Yes. Farties, I call them. Keezy around my joint.
Cool, man.
Preliminary to the post. Absolutely shocking bastards, they were. Yeah. You think to yourself, okay, you'll know this, man. Where does it come from? Yeah. And I'll tell you the answer. You're nuts.
You're nuts. It does, yeah. I don't think that...
You don't think what? I'm so tired this morning. It's all good, man. We've got you for the first hour now. It's going to be annoying for you. I know, and it already kind of is for some reason.
I haven't got you at all, Keezy. This is all on Mogi today.
Let's do it.
It's a Mogi special. But yes, so I cracked an enormous fart. Yeah, good. And I heard my wife in the other room go, oh! What was she up to? Well, it was so loud that it startled her. Right. And she was like... That did not happen.
Your wife would have just gone, apart from the course.
Was she all a quiver, would you say, Jase?
She was all a quiver, yeah. So she was startled by it. And that was all brought on, of course, by the hot pot yesterday.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
How do the hosts kick off today’s Big Show and social channels?
0:00–0:32
2
Why are the hosts talking about being tired and sleep habits?
0:32–2:36
3
What funny night-time routines and missing bedside water do they joke about?
2:36–5:15
4
How did Keezy’s loud bathroom incident startle his wife and why?
5:15–8:52
5
What’s the lunch hot pot story and plans to eat out together?
8:52–11:07
6
How are the hosts planning to watch the All Blacks and Warriors doubleheader?
11:07–11:56