OUTRO: The Turdcast
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Where do the hosts promote The Hauraki Big Show and podcast availability?
For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show Podcast. Get up even closer. On Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok. Or raw doggies. Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Hooters. Talk your life, fellas.
Mogi's just dumped out all his remaining energy just since that.
He's got nothing now. Speaking of Mogi dumping out, I... We can't do another steamer special. Well, I'm just saying that I went for wheeze and Mogi was in there doing his morning ablutions. I'm traumatised.
Can I just say that the only reason you said you're traumatised is because I... Because, Chase, this is what happened. I was in there just dominating. What, the toilet? Yeah. Well done. Absolutely just... I was ruling it with an iron fist.
What triggered the 'steamer' / bathroom story and who’s involved?
Can I put it that way, Woody J? Ruling it with a brown fist. If there was ever a dictator in the history of the world in terms of taking dumps this morning, that would have been it.
Adolf Schittler. Was he a dictator?
Yeah, I was trying to think of, yeah. Schittler. Porcellini. Porcellini, yes. I was trying to think of a Porcellini one. Ah, nice. That's good stuff. Anyway, I'm just going to town in there, but it's easy work for me, you know what I mean? It's what I was built for, Jase.
Chairman Poos.
All of us. All of a sudden I hear the door swing open and what should happen but a little bit of a whistle cuts through the air. Now I know that that's Hoare J and that's why he's whistled when he comes in because he wants to alert me to the fact that he's come in so I don't make horrendous noises. But... Is that true? Yeah. I'm already finished by the time Jase comes in. Wow. I've got my right leg in the air and I'm giving it death back door stops. In the air? I just raised my cheek up a little bit.
And he does too. I'm not pointing my toes.
Because I was looking under the door. You can probably see it from where you're standing. And then I looked... then i look down and jay says he's got his head underneath the you know the petition and you've got your right leg in the air yeah and i'm wiping it and he goes i'm traumatized for life because you when you do it you put your head your leg behind your head almost like a cat does that's right and i lick my nose
And his head was under the door at that point.
Spoiler alert. Is it a spoiler alert?
Is that what we say? Yeah, man. People were. What I was shocked by was how many wipes too. There were like eight. Eight wipes. I saw all of them. All of them. Once again, this is a statement.
He kept on throwing dollar coins at me going, do it again. Do it again. I was like, all good. Why do you have so many dollar coins?
I don't know, just spear changer. You know, swear jar at my house.
Yeah, right.
Which I steal from.
How do the hosts describe the shocking bathroom details and reactions?
Good stuff. Will you do a steamer on the road today, Jase?
Well, I'm actually – look. I'm percolating as we speak. You're not a coffee filter, all right? We're percolating. I may have to do one before I go home because this is kind of my time. You know what I'm saying?
I'm so sorry, viewers slash listeners. I'm so sorry.
Why?
Just because this is a second turd chat. It's what I like to call good eating. It is. The turd cast. Keep going. So you're going to have to go before you go home, man. That's really interesting.
Yeah, I think so. Actually, it's pretty urgent right now, to be honest. Are you guys good to carry on with that?
No, no. There was a one-off yesterday. It is not a thing that you're just allowed to go take a shit during the outro. It isn't? No. Is that true? You can take a mic in there with you. Pugs will give you the wireless brick thing and come with you and plumb you in. Take a mic? Mike Minow.
That won't be the only brick in there, Keezy. Go in there and take a hoagie. I had some Metamucil last night, so, you know. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
Where are you at with yours, KZ? I guess you're probably... What? I mean, what... 15 hours away from yours.
Yeah, when's your sort of general timing for that sort of stuff, Keezy?
Well, traditionally I'll wake up, have brekkie and a coffee, and then it'll be, I don't know, like shortly after.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
Where do the hosts promote The Hauraki Big Show and podcast availability?
0:00–0:50
2
What triggered the 'steamer' / bathroom story and who’s involved?
0:50–2:48
3
How do the hosts describe the shocking bathroom details and reactions?
2:48–7:46
4
When do the hosts debate taking a mic into the bathroom during the outro?
7:46–9:03
5
What are each host’s typical bathroom timing and morning routines?
9:03–10:35