Beginner's guide to polyamory
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What is consensual non‑monogamy and who might benefit from it?
I think we just really all need to be more aware of what's out there and not be so quick to judge just because I have two partners doesn't mean I'm unhappy with anyone. It means that I'm just happy enough within myself and within my relationship to be able to explore those other ideas. Warning adult content. The hookup. Love and on Triple J.
Have you ever felt like one relationship isn't quite enough for you? Well maybe ironically, you're actually not alone. More and more people are becoming curious about moving outside the confines of monogamy, whether it's just having sex outside your relationship or having multiple committed partners. I'm Nat Tencich and we've received several requests on the hookup over the past few months to look at navigating consensual non-monogamy. So, we're answering everything you ever wanted to know about multi-love. Is it right for you? Should you give it a go? And how might you go about opening your relationship? Stick around because we're going to get to all of those questions on this bumper episode, as well as a few issues that you might encounter on the way as you get started in this world.
We'll start by welcoming some friends of the show and experts in the field of polyamory and non-monogamy. Sex therapist Jeremy Shubb, welcome.
Thank you, Nat. Hello.
Uh Ann Hunter, Poly Relationship Coach, has joined us before as well. How are you? I'm good. It's good to be here. Thanks,
Nat.
And it's good to be with uh Relationship Counselor Jenna Trossell as well.
Hey,
nice to see you.
So, Anne, I'm gonna throw it to you first. Why now? What is happening right now that's got us so obsessed with non-monogamy? Well, I think
I think you're absolutely right that it non monogamy's been around forever. Yeah. And there just haven't people haven't known that there are ethical ways of doing it. So I would say if I had to put it in one word it would be internet. The fact that people c have been able to make contact across the world and find each other, that there are now groups there is there's a group of poly researchers, specifically researching polyamory and a whole lot of stuff around that. There are you know, leaders around the world have been able to toss each other questions, people have been able to do blogs and Yeah y all sorts of different forms of communication. And that has made people realize that we're not all just our own individual weirdo in our own little corner.
That actually there's a large group of us. And I think that's given people the courage and the conviction to be and the safety to be able to come out and talk about it.
Yeah, well absolutely like with internet comes community and and you know, you feel less alone and uh Jenna, how important is that community aspect of of the blooming polyamory?
Um I mean I think Because people want to relate to each other in a new way, having other people go, Oh, this is totally my experience gives them a a way for uh for them to go, Oh wow, okay, I'm not alone in this. And so um having the people to bounce ideas off of or go like, Oh right, that's what worked for you. This is something I'm struggling with, like where do I go from here? It it just helps normalize the entire process. Yeah.
I wanna talk a little bit about the history of things because you know, for some people that might not be so aware of um humanity's history with polyamory, they might be looking at it going, How did we get here exactly? So like Anne, what is kind of the history of of non monogamous relationships and how did we get here?
Um there have always been non monogamous relationships throughout history. Um there have been, you know, well known uh Kings of France who've whose m wives and mistresses have gotten on really well and helped them run the country, for example. Uh my favorite group is the the group that was centered in Paris in the twenties around Jean Paul Sartre and Simon de Beauvoir. Um that was uh didn't use the word polyamory, but act absolutely was. There've been people like Eleanor Roosevelt who've just c kept it quiet, but public figures
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is consensual non‑monogamy and who might benefit from it?
0:02–10:34
2
How did polyamory develop historically and why is it gaining popularity now?
10:34–20:21
3
What are the main relationship styles within polyamory (hierarchical, non‑hierarchical, solo‑poly, etc.)?
20:21–29:48
4
How can couples start the conversation about opening their relationship?
29:48–39:08
5
What strategies help manage jealousy and competitive feelings in poly relationships?
39:08–49:18
6
What is compersion and how can it be cultivated alongside jealousy?
49:18–57:56
7
How do poly families handle parenting, holidays, and wider family dynamics?
57:56–1:06:25
8
Where can people find supportive communities and resources for polyamory?
1:06:25–1:08:44