CMA Sabotage: Thursday, November 21st, 2024

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What are the highlights from the CMA Awards 2024?

Jackie Oshry 0:00
Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to The Toast and happy Thursday. That feels like a Friday because we're fucking celebrating, bitch. Hey, Jax, how you doing? I'm doing, Rick. I'm doing, actually. Okay, Laura. We are the ladies in blue today. Okay, Laura. I feel like people wouldn't believe us when we say that we don't plan our outfits. We are just so simpatico that like... I actually think people would believe it. We literally show up looking like rats in sweatpants. Like, why would we plan that? No, no, no. Plan matching. Like yesterday we were of the same ilk. The day before we were wearing cream sweaters and leggings. Today we're both wearing blue. When do we ever wear blue? There's just like, at least for me, like a really limited amount of clothes that I'm willing to put on my body. So it couldn't be anything other than accidental. But it's always, it's just to say we are simpatico. I just want to get out ahead of some of, you know, the drama. Letting everyone know the good guys were using my studio yesterday. So if this episode never makes it to air, that's why.
Jackie Oshry 0:57
Okay. What were they doing in there? Just being good. Did they have a guest or something? They did actually. They did. Do you want to spoil it and just like ruin their show and their surprise? Kind of. But I can't remember the person. Now I want to know who it is. I can't remember their name. But Ben was like obsessed. I'm like in this very sort of territorial era. I don't know if it's like the hormones, but like anytime Ben's texting someone, I'm like, who's your girlfriend? Like, and I'm really, and he's like, he talks to a lot of people and now he's only a lot. There are certain people the other day, he's like giggling in the bed, texting someone. I'm like, who are you texting? He says, Alex Gornaschelli. Now, Alex Porticelli is in the list of approved people Ben can talk to because, you know, she's married. She doesn't seem romantically interested in Ben, so I'll allow it. Everyone else... You gotta keep your eyes wide open.
Jackie Oshry 1:44
Everyone who else Ben talks to is lesbian. Like, he's literally only allowed to talk to lesbians. I believe the guest on the podcast yesterday was lesbian. I said, that's fine. He has been texting a lot with Witchbone Kitchen because they're like... doing a collab. I mean, Ben is so excited about it, and he doesn't stop talking about this other woman, and she's on my list now, even though she's a toaster, so she is approved, although she's not a lesbian. She is a toaster, and she's in a relationship, so I'll allow it. He was talking to this other girl. I guess that's what happens when he's in all these female spaces. Yes, yes. He's got a lot of females on his feed dial. Podcasting and cooking, and he was talking to this other girl yesterday, and I'm like, who's that? He was like, she's a lesbian, don't worry. He's just talking to a lot of bitches. Or is she bi, Claudia? It's a spectrum. No, no, she's lesbian. One day here, next day there.
Jackie Oshry 2:28
And of course, you know, because I said this last week, nobody believes me, I have so many friends who are lesbians. The Taylors are always like, he's always texting Taylor. And I'm like, that's fine, that's fine. Yeah. That's completely fine. Approved. And I'm just like, I'm in a special type of mood today. On the way to work, like my body started to break down. I'm not wearing the right bra. Putting on a bra with clasps and cups is so not in the wheelhouse of things I'm capable of doing. I couldn't possibly fathom putting on a regular bra and clipping it in the back. Just wait till you have to get the bra extender. What's that? Where it like extends, it clasps to the clasp and it gives you a few more inches and then it clasps to the other side. Okay, I don't think I'm going to be needing those because I will not be wearing.
Jackie Oshry 3:10
And so I bought these bras on Amazon that I really, actually when I was at your house I was having so much trouble with bras. I just like ordered some shit on Amazon that would come the next day. And they're like, you know, a cross between a sports bra but like a stretchy relaxation bra. Comfort, yeah. And they're nice, but every time I wear them for more than a day, they lose their grip on me.

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