you can't keep living in the past
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Why does thinking about the past hurt?
You know what honestly hurts me? Is thinking about the past. It hurts me. I can look at it now from a perspective of like, you know, I did what I did. I lived the life that I lived. But if I'm completely real, sometimes it really does pain me because I messed up a lot. I don't want to hear about my partner's past. I don't. But for some reason I'm curious. I'm just curious if I'm doing a good job.
What can we learn from our past relationships?
At least that's how it was in some of my relationships. And when I would hear about their past because they were open, it hurt me. It really hurt me. And I was in this weird conundrum where I had willingly asked for the information and they willingly provided it to me. And then all of my insecurities just went rapid fire. And I think I've learned that there are certain things in my life that are honestly better left in ignorance. And there are also certain things in my life that maybe I do want to know, but I have to ask myself, is it hurting me? And there's a good chance you got to ask yourself too, are certain things in your life hurting you? Is it hurting you? Maybe it is.
How does jealousy affect our present?
Maybe seeing and keeping up with your ex-girlfriend, boyfriend, partner is actually hurting you. It's doing more harm than good. Yes, you're able to laugh at them and make fun of them because they totally downgraded and they are having an atrocious time. But it's also simultaneously reminding you of the both of you being in something together.
Why is self-deprecation harmful?
And your jealousy is actually stemming from the fact that you never got closure. That you never felt like we made amends. I think it is hurting you. I think it is hurting you. In the same vein, I think that when you talk bad about yourself and you lower your confidence because you want to be self-deprecating and you want people to like you, it is hurting you. I don't think it's a good thing. At least in my life, it hasn't been. you know, made jokes about myself, some that were really just like pathetic because, oh, I thought that this is, this is how I'm going to get people to like me. And you should be able to laugh at yourself. Like you shouldn't be serious all the time. You know, you can make a troll once in a while, but if it's, if it's all the time and you really feel like there's no confidence in you, I don't think that that is something that you should do over and over and over again.
Over and over again, something has to change. If you know, you know. You know what honestly hurts me? Is thinking about the past. It hurts me. I can look at it now from a perspective of like, you know, I did what I did. I lived the life that I lived. But if I'm completely real, sometimes it really does pain me because I messed up a lot. I did. And part of messing up was that I was so obsessed with being perfect that I never really made mistakes. that were ones I could learn from. I mean, you know, granted, I had a lot that I learned from, but I think that there were periods of my life where I felt like I was better off isolated, not really trying.
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And as an adult, I've had a complete switch. Now I do things on my own. I don't ask for permission. I just go out and try it. And if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. And I've realized that that doesn't hurt me. That makes me stronger. Me deciding to go to a yoga class, you know, it doesn't compromise my ability to be a man.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
Why does thinking about the past hurt?
0:00–0:34
2
What can we learn from our past relationships?
0:34–1:30
3
How does jealousy affect our present?
1:30–1:55
4
Why is self-deprecation harmful?
1:55–6:14
5
How can we reclaim our time and passions?
6:14–11:57
6
What role does fitness play in self-confidence?
11:57–16:42
7
How to find new interests and hobbies?
16:42–27:47