Alain De Botton
speaker
1,037 appearances
5 recordings
5 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard 1 Jul
Alain De Botton’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 4 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Who's secure?
What makes you avoidant?
What are your triggers?
We don't need people to be perfect in relationships, but if they have some grasp of the areas in which they go a bit mad, that's tremendously helpful.
To be able to give your partner a rudimentary, but nevertheless, fairly accurate map of
the bits of you that are a little wonky, this is very generous.
This is a hugely generous act to say, in this area, I'm fragile.
When it comes to how I might behave about the fact that you have lots of friends or that you're often down about something or that you're not punctual or whatever, these things are difficult.
And the reason why relationships get so bitter is that people fail to remember the complicated in a way
very understandable reasons for why their partner is as difficult as they are.
If you can remember, okay, what I'm dealing with is not an enemy who's trying to ruin my life, but someone who really struggled with their father when they were five.
That's why it's so hard for them to do that thing in the kitchen that I'd like them to do.
They're not trying to ruin my life.
They're just trying to cope in their own way.
And we forget this.
It's so hard, but there should be a patron saint of this and there should be
The number one way to unwind a particularly tense standoff is always to give your partner or friend, colleague, whatever, a sense that you are listening to what it is that they're saying.
You don't have to agree, but you have to listen.
And
a very simple way is to go, I hear you.
Showing 1001–1020 of 1,037 · page 51 of 52
← Previous
Next →