Dr. Nicole McNichols

And it's like any other skill that we have in our life, right?

Trial and error, making mistakes.

You know, I mean, this is why if you want to improve your sex life, and I think that for many women who are feeling like there's nothing that you can do to change it, that sex

is just kind of the way it is that married sex never changes.

There's so much research coming out now showing the power of a sexual growth mindset.

And what that is, is the ability to lean into this idea that you need to try different things, that there needs to be communication, that it's okay if you try something that just simply epically fails and you learn to just laugh at it, right?

And so when I talk about this idea with people and, you know, especially my students, you

Well, wait a minute.

What about that guy that I met when I was back on spring break, Eduardo?

And, you know, he did that thing with his tongue.

Like, he really instantly knew what he was doing.

I'm not saying, Mel, that sexual unicorns don't exist, right?

We need to get there.

But I'm telling you, we can teach each other to have Eduardo's tongue.

It's just as trial and error.

It is accessible.

I want to give you Eduardo's tongue, and I know that I can do that.

You start to lean into this idea of experimentation and failure and learning to communicate through that, right?

And so when we look at couples, for example, and we ask them about, you know, well, what do you believe about sex?

What are your attitudes?