Dr. Tara Swart

Yeah, so there's actually two questions there, and I'm going to come back to the how long does it take to change a habit, but I'll pick up on your example because it's so real for people.

So you're absolutely right that overindulging for one day isn't going to change the thoughtful behaviors that you have set up already.

I kind of mentioned this already, but one of the pitfalls is that let's say you did overindulge for a week and you have noticed that you've put on weight.

The normal default for the brain is to say, well, you've messed this up now, so basically you've failed.

But then that also kind of, in a way, unfortunately, allows you to keep doing it because you think, well, I failed at that, so I might as well not bother.

But it's so important to not beat yourself up and start again.

That's a really big learning that I've had over the last decade or so.

Exactly.

We're obviously much kinder to our children and our pets than we are to ourselves.

We don't give ourselves that same break that we might give to our children.

And so the thing with three-year-olds is that it's very physical.

So when something goes wrong, they will literally throw their toys, they will throw themselves to the ground so you can see what's going on.

Inside your brain, have you seen that movie Inside Out?

Oh, you must watch it.

It's a Disney film.

It's about a child who you can see the little characters in their brain that are their emotions.

And so basically your three-year-old's behavior is going on inside your head, but you're not demonstrating that to the world because you've learned to regulate your emotions.

Before we forget, let's get back to the, how long does it take to create or change a habit?

There are so many things out there, like it takes two weeks or 42 days or 66 days or whatever, but none of those are true because basically it depends what it is.

If it is going from eating a bar of chocolate to one square of chocolate every night, you could do that in probably two weeks.