When I Thought I Was Going To Die… I Realised I’d Never Lived For Myself | Dearbhla Mescal

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Begin Again with Davina McCall 1h 15m 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What inspired Dearbhla Mescal to write her book?

Dearbhla Mescal 0:00
Life is so precious, and I have cancer. I remember thinking, I'm gonna die?
Davina McCall 0:04
It's really hard.

How did Dearbhla find joy in everyday moments?

Davina McCall 0:05
How did you do it? I think, um... Today, I am joined by the incredible Dabla Mescal, a brilliant author, and mum of Nell, Donika, and Paul Mescal.
Dearbhla Mescal 0:16
As much as cancer was happening to me, it was happening to them. All my kids are pretty brave.
Davina McCall 0:21
She shares how we often find ourselves growing smaller just to survive in a world that doesn't always make space for you. My voice rattled inside me for a long time. I think it's what we want for our kids, that their voice is heard. I've got something for you as well. Just brace yourself, okay? We talk about falling in love and how life has got an unrelenting way of really testing your strength together as a couple.
Dearbhla Mescal 0:46
When you're in a couple, it's about your dreams and my dreams. And if you're blessed and you get a baby, suddenly nothing else matters.

What challenges did Dearbhla face while raising her children?

Davina McCall 0:54
You've been married how many years now? 32. The hardest job I have ever done. And she talks really honestly about some of her darkest moments. This is the body that was in the battle of my whole life.
Unknown 1:11
And that was the gift of cancer for me.
Davina McCall 1:13
But I think one message from her comes through so clearly. You're always allowed to unfold and it's never too late to begin again. Davla Mescal. I love the fact that we were messaging each other last night. That's so cute. Yes. Thank you for coming to talk to me. Slid into my DMs. I did.

What was the turning point in Dearbhla's life?

Davina McCall 1:32
And can we just tell people what time you and I were going to bed? It was very early. I think it was about half eight. It was embarrassing. I was like, I don't want to tell you this, but I'm actually also in bed.
Dearbhla Mescal 1:44
Exactly. I was waiting for you to tell me you were at some disco. And I was like, oh, and here I am.

How did Dearbhla cope with her cancer diagnosis?

Dearbhla Mescal 1:49
And I said, well, I say that I'm in bed. Actually, I am going to say I'm in bed.
Davina McCall 1:55
Thank you for coming. You know, learning about you was so magnificent because I really felt like a kindred spirit.

What lessons did Dearbhla learn from her experience with cancer?

Davina McCall 2:07
I don't know if you've ever felt like that.
Nell Mescal 2:10
I do.
Davina McCall 2:11
About me or anything I've said, but I felt like, oh, I get you. And the first thing I want to talk about, because today is publication day. I know, I can't believe I'm here. This is so exciting. It is. It is.
Dearbhla Mescal 2:27
This book is completely authentically me. It is my journey in a space of a time in my life, just in a period of my life. That goes from Donica being 14 to Donica being 25. Yeah. That's the period of time in my life.

How can we prioritize self-love and personal growth?

Dearbhla Mescal 2:48
And that's your middle son. Sorry, that's Donica, my middle guy.

What is the significance of loving yourself in midlife?

Davina McCall 2:50
Yeah. So Paul's... 30. Yeah. So I'm just going to explain here. Oh, yes. You are the mother of Paul Mescal. Yes, I am. But you have three children. I do have three children. All equally important. Yes. You've got Donika.
Dearbhla Mescal 3:03
So Paul is 30, just recently. Donika is going to be 27 in July. And Nell is 23 in April. My baby. I know. I can't believe I have a 30-year-old. Yeah, it's so weird, isn't it? That is like... How did that even happen? I... I just I have no idea. I find that. And that's the most interesting part of mothering, I think, as well, that you have to mother like they don't need mothering now. So where do you sit? But they do. Exactly. But they don't. And so therefore, you don't want to be on top of them, but you want to be near them. You want to let them know that we're in the wings always here. But yeah, he's yeah, very lucky. The three of them are happy and well.
Davina McCall 3:47
Just wondering if you could quickly press subscribe.
Unknown 3:51
I mean, it's free. Please.
Davina McCall 3:57
So can you explain to me a little bit about the concept of this book and bringing joy to yourself? Yeah, my cup. Yeah.
Dearbhla Mescal 4:09
This book obviously is a, you know, I was writing little posts about things and then suddenly somebody said, you know, maybe we put it all together. How it started was I was at a pitch at Doneca's Match. It was freezing cold. It was February. Big, you know, you know, those coats with the fur. Your match day coat. Yes, yes, with the hood. Yes, with the hood. And it was like little igloos. And this mum came up beside me and literally our hoods literally tied in. So now the children are playing and we're going, yes, that's great. But we're having a conversation.

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