152 | The Habit of Saying Yes Before You’ve Checked in With Yourself
episode
Choose Happy with Marie | Overthinking, Self-Doubt & Self-Trust
14 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why do we automatically say yes before checking in with ourselves?
There's a habit a lot of us don't even realize we've built. It's when someone asks us something, whether it's a favor, a plan, or a commitment, and before we've even checked in with ourselves, we're already saying yes. Not because we truly want to, maybe we do, maybe we don't, but because it's faster. Easier. And expected of us. And over time, those tiny moments start to add up until you start to feel a little distant from yourself in your own life. Let's talk about that moment, the one right before the yes, and why it matters more than you think. Come on in, it's time to choose your happy life. Wherever you are, whatever kind of day you're having, this is your reminder. You have a choice. If you're ready to break free from self-doubt and negative thinking, you're in the right place.
Hi, I'm Marie, and this is the Choose Happy With Me podcast. Welcome. Hello, how are you? I hope you're doing well. There's a moment that happens in everyday life that most people don't really notice. It's not a big decision. It doesn't feel like something important at the time. And it's rarely something you would look back on and say, That changed everything. It's actually much quieter than that. It can happen when someone sends you a text asking for something. Or a friend suggests plans when you're already a little tired.
What is the hidden pause that happens right before we answer?
Or a colleague asks for help and you already have too much on your plate. And before you've really checked in with yourself, you hear yourself saying Yes. And it happens so quickly that you don't even realize there was another step available. You didn't realize it. Because You're living on autopilot. And that step is a pause. A check in. A moment where you might have asked yourself. How you actually feel. When is the last time you asked yourself how you really feel before answering? You know, answering the automatic yes just to keep the peace, you know that's not always best. Actually It often isn't in the long run. And I think you already know that from previous experiences. Yet you continue doing that because it's what you know.
It's how you've lived life. You've just kept it going. The yes actually isn't the most important part of this pattern. It's what happens right before it. Or more honestly, what doesn't happen? That tiny moment where you might have checked in with yourself, even just for a second.
How does skipping that self‑check lead to feeling disconnected over time?
And if you asked yourself the following. Do I want this? Do I have the capacity for this? Or is this a line for me right now? That moment is often skipped so quickly that we stop noticing it exists at all. And when that happens enough times, something subtle begins to form. You stop including yourself in the decision. Not in a dramatic way. Just in a quiet, automatic way. That becomes normal over time. You might notice it in In really ordinary parts of your day, for example, like when your work day is already full. You have deadlines, the messages have to be responded to, the mental load. And someone asks you to take something on and instead of checking in with your capacity, you adjust. You say yes and then figure it out later.
Or when you finally get to the end of the day and you're tired. Not dramatically exhausted, although some days that can feel that way. Just that kind of I need a quiet evening tired. You know what that feels like? and someone suggests plans or asks you to join something, And before you've really felt into your own need for rest, you're already saying, yeah, I can make it work. Sound familiar? Or when a friend asks for help with something small, something you technically could do.
Why does constantly saying yes create a lingering, hard‑to‑shake tiredness?
And you don't pause long enough to notice that you're already stretched. So you say yes. Not because it feels deeply right. But because it feels easier than stopping. And none of these moments feel like a big deal on their own. That's what makes this so easy to miss. In fact, in the moment, it can even feel like you're doing something good. You know. You're being helpful. You're being reliable. You're being someone others can count on. And for a long time. That can feel like something to be proud of. But slowly something starts to build underneath it.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do we automatically say yes before checking in with ourselves?
0:00–1:58
2
What is the hidden pause that happens right before we answer?
1:58–3:39
3
How does skipping that self‑check lead to feeling disconnected over time?
3:39–5:26
4
Why does constantly saying yes create a lingering, hard‑to‑shake tiredness?
5:26–6:46
5
What subtle pattern forms when we keep prioritizing others over our own needs?
6:46–8:58
6
How can a brief pause turn a default yes into a decision that includes you?
8:58–10:49
7
What practical steps can I take to pause and check in before responding?
10:49–12:19
8
How does consistently choosing yourself build a happier, more aligned life?
12:19–14:11
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Choose Happy with Marie | Overthinking, Self-Doubt & Self-Trust
161 | What If I Didn't Need Permission to Want What I Want?
160 | Why Is It So Hard to Put Myself on My Own To-Do List?
159 | How Do I Know What I Really Want in Life?
158 | How Do I Stop People Pleasing Without Feeling Guilty?
157 | Why Do I Overthink Every Decision Instead of Trusting Myself?
156 | Why Do I Feel Disconnected From Myself Even When Life Is Good?