159 | How Do I Know What I Really Want in Life?
episode
Choose Happy with Marie | Overthinking, Self-Doubt & Self-Trust
8 min
1 speaker
3 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why do quiet moments make us question what we really want?
Have you ever found yourself sitting in a quiet moment, maybe on a dock? Maybe on a walk. Maybe just staring out a window and suddenly thinking I don't actually know what I want anymore. Not what you should want, not what makes sense, not what would make other people happy, but what you want. And the strange thing is, it's not that there are no answers, it's that it feels like you've lost access to them. If that feels familiar, this episode is for you. We're talking about what happens when you start coming back to yourself. And the question that gently begins to open that door again. Come on in, it's time to choose happy. Wherever you are, whatever kind of day you're having, this is your reminder. You have a choice.
If you're ready to break free from self-doubt and negative thinking, you're in the right place. Hi, I'm Marie, and this is the Choose Happy With Me podcast. Welcome. Hello, how are you? Welcome back to the Choose Happy With Marie show. I am so glad you're here. I want to start with a small image. The image of a doc. Maybe you're sitting at a cottage, or maybe you're at a lake on a summer afternoon. The sun is warm, the water is still, and for a moment there's nothing you have to decide or fix or figure out. Just stillness. And then a thought quietly rises. If nobody else had an opinion. What would I want? Not what would make sense, not what would make someone else happy, and not what I should want. Just what do I actually want?
And sometimes the honest answer is, I don't know. And if that is the case, I wanna take a moment to pause here. Because I don't think that means you're lost. I think it might mean you've been so busy listening to everybody else. That you've stopped practicing how to hear yourself. We often assume that knowing what we want should be simple. But for many of us it's not. It's not because we lack clarity, but it's because we've spent so long making decisions through other filters. Filters like the following. Asking the following questions. What will make things easier? What will keep the peace?
How does listening to our inner voice differ from caring about others’ expectations?
What will avoid disappointment? What will make a good friend, a good partner, a good employee? Or a good daughter. And over time those filters become automatic. So when someone finally asks you, what do you want? There's a pause. Not because nothing is there, but But because your inner signal has gotten very quiet. I actually don't think we lose our wants. I think we lose the habit of listening for them. And in that silence the mind often jumps in again, trying to figure it out, trying to think its way into clarity. But what you're really looking for isn't a better answer, it's actually a clearer signal. There's a question I've been sitting with lately, and it's surprisingly simple. If nobody else had an opinion.
What would I want? Not as a performance, not as a responsibility to others, and not as something to get right. Just you. In your own life without having to adjust for anyone else. And I don't think this question always gives a clear answer right away. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes what comes up first is uncertainty. Or silence. Or maybe even discomfort. And if that happens, know that it's okay. Because this isn't about getting the answer immediately, right? It's about reopening a conversation with yourself that may have gone quiet for a while. And maybe that's where trusting yourself begins to return. Not when you suddenly know everything you want. But when you begin to stay present long enough to notice what shows up inside you without immediately dismissing it.
So for this week. You don't have to figure out your whole life. Just notice the moments when something inside you quietly says yes. Or maybe it says no. Maybe not that. Maybe this instead. Those are small signals and they matter more than we realize. That is our gut speaking to us. Because they are you trying to find your way back to you. You don't need to have your whole life figured out to begin trusting yourself again. You just need small moments where you pause long enough to listen.
What are the hidden ‘filters’ that keep us from hearing our true desires?
Ask this question in those moments.
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Chapters
3 chaptersSpeakers
1 identifiedMore from Choose Happy with Marie | Overthinking, Self-Doubt & Self-Trust
161 | What If I Didn't Need Permission to Want What I Want?
160 | Why Is It So Hard to Put Myself on My Own To-Do List?
158 | How Do I Stop People Pleasing Without Feeling Guilty?
157 | Why Do I Overthink Every Decision Instead of Trusting Myself?
156 | Why Do I Feel Disconnected From Myself Even When Life Is Good?
155 | 3 Ways to Start Hearing Yourself Again