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Distractible

Worst Tech Issues (Compilation)

28 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What memorable tech issues are highlighted in this compilation?

0.267 - 5.034 Bob

This episode of Distractable is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

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5.314 - 19.435 Unknown

The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at Ookla Speedtest. So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee, visit t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability.

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19.675 - 27.827 Bob

Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on Ookla Speedtest. Intelligence data, second half 2025. All rights reserved.

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28.246 - 36.687 Mark Fischbach (Markiplier)

From camera calamity to synthetic eclipses. It's time for...

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37.173 - 58.978 Unknown

Worst tech issues. Mark is either gone or sitting very still. Hello? He's thinking. Hello? Hello? Let's try a simple one. Mark, how many fingers? Hello? Oh, wait. I know how to fix this. Mark, how many fingers? Hello? I texted you. Hello? You know what, Bob? I'm going to give you a good internet point. Thanks. That seems fair.

59.583 - 83.211 Unknown

hello they tried to take me out it didn't work the world government oh sweet fucking jesus no no not again hello all right sorry everyone we had to break in the middle of our context there mark's tub got us all very wet so we had to take a moment to dry off but uh uh where we were chatting just a moment ago which is right where we're picking up for you guys but a few minutes later for us

83.191 - 88.662 Unknown

Oh, there they are. Red and... What happened? Hello? Why did... Can you hear me?

89.103 - 92.911 Ethan

Suddenly my... A light went out and this... My headphones went out.

93.171 - 99.023 Wade

That's not good. Unplug it and plug it back in. Unplug it and plug it back in.

Chapter 2: How do unexpected tech failures impact live discussions?

173.561 - 198.757 Unknown

All right. Head empty, foam wet, not on walls. It's not my fault. My laptop is dying. Will, this might need to be an edit out, depending on what's said here. I had it plugged in over here for a while. Oh, no. I think maybe it got put in the cabinet at some point. I really wish you'd start talking shit about us. I'm not saying that you touched it. I know.

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198.777 - 226.174 Unknown

The painting people moved all the shit around. Painting person. I feel like we shouldn't listen to that. I know. So, uh, what's up? Small talk? You got anything interesting in mind? Oh, laptop charger. Where did I leave you? Oh, it's in my backpack, which is upstairs next to my computer. Okay. Fuck. I can't un-listen. Oh, I'm wearing a microphone. I wonder if they can still hear me.

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231.802 - 258.075 Unknown

Did you guys hear me that whole time? We kept going like, oh no, we shouldn't listen to this. I found my charger, guys. It was right here five feet away from me. Wow. Can you believe it? Oh man, that's crazy. We were trying not to listen, but we couldn't help it. Why would you try not to listen? We were trying to talk over you. I'm the one who went to the bathroom wearing my love.

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258.135 - 282.994 Unknown

That's the rule. Hello? Mark, are you taking the longest drink of coffee in history or are you frozen? Hello? Remember that noise Mark was talking about his computer started making? I think.

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283.565 - 307.598 Unknown

might have just gone horribly wrong hello hi oh okay all right yeah that that was super weird my ethernet adapter just failed i've never had that problem ever and it just started working again or did you have to like go into the device manager or something i switched to wi-fi if i go into my device manager my ethernet is now appearing and disappearing and the whole adapter is like

307.578 - 331.524 Unknown

on and off and what's weird is that's a motherboard integrated ethernet adapter yeah that's not great i don't like that that happened then i heard that weird fan whirring that might not be a fan that might be the power supply yeah you might be in trouble this episode let's look at it this way you know if i were to list the Why did that happen?

331.644 - 334.927 Unknown

Are you about to get consumed by a creature of the darkness?

335.187 - 335.968 Wade

Are you all right?

336.088 - 338.351 Unknown

For those who are... Oh, my God.

Chapter 3: What troubleshooting steps are discussed during tech malfunctions?

365.144 - 383.873 Unknown

And I'm like, where, where am I? Why? I didn't do it. You okay, buddy? Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. Too much abuse of the bomb switch. The camera's getting ornery. Hey, I ordered a new mattress. Ding dong. Oh, wow.

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387.076 - 412.847 Unknown

so dumb oh so we have an idiot a sleep deprived guy and a sick guy doing a podcast episode today and this is what you get wait you left yourself as the idiot yeah i don't have any other excuses right now i was telling you i was i was doing a firmware update on this thing oh what's the lens like on that we should see the lens uh it's the same as uh a bomb

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418.058 - 436.148 Unknown

It's like when you give toddlers technology and they make their first video and it's like really shitty and they look at it embarrassed 20 years later like, what was I thinking? We don't have to be these people, guys. We can change our lives for the better right now. Doesn't that blow your mind that you could just decide right now to become a different person?

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436.489 - 440.115 Wade

I'm gonna stand up. I'm becoming a different person as you speak.

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440.676 - 463.038 Unknown

I'm gonna stand up. Have fun with that, fucking losers. I'm standing. Mark, your height didn't change that much. It did, though! I'm on camera! That's so rude of you! I'm literally out of the frame! I'm so tall! Plot twist, you have a little stepping stool by your chair. I know this is gonna rip cables out from everywhere, but here I go.

463.359 - 471.387 Wade

Mark freezes and disappears again. Mark, no! Oh, everyone's frozen!

476.497 - 485.865 Unknown

Why did that happen? What could have possibly pulled? What did that? You must have lost wireless fidelity for a moment.

486.486 - 486.586

Fuck!

487.046 - 504.782 Unknown

No! Oh, he froze. Why is that happening? Oh, you're stretching those cables. Mark, I think you're still out of frame. You're going to have to keep moving it. I got to keep going. It's got so far up to travel. Here we go.

Chapter 4: How does humor play a role in addressing tech problems?

552.633 - 570.819 Unknown

Yeah. Every time Mark goes out of focus or his light turns off and on again, that's just the AI loosing object permanence for a second and having to remember what the hell was going on. What's going on? Oh, you're out of focus. That's weird. Yeah. That's so strange. Segway. You always have something weird going on every time. I don't know why that's been happening.

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570.859 - 592.971 Unknown

I did a firmware update for this lens, which is a weird thing to say, but it still is a little funky. Oh, we almost had a whole episode without Mark saying the word lens. Points to Mark for saying lens. Unprompted. Oh, God, what have I done? Oh, sweet Jesus. No memory card. Mark, there's no memory card in slot one. You madman. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

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592.951 - 603.705 Unknown

I've never ever crossed this threshold- God, this freaking light. I don't know. I don't know what to do. For the listeners, Mark's light just turned itself off for like the dozenth time today.

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603.965 - 607.069 Ethan

I don't know why- and here it is again. It just turns on and off.

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607.129 - 620.005 Unknown

I don't get it. I can't- I'm not even like connected to it in the app. I've unplugged it, turned it back on, reset it. It still just like turns off every once in a while, and then turns back on. TGP, thing-o-ping. I like that. I'm frozen! HELP!

619.985 - 624.73 Wade

Your thumbnail just updated so now it's the frozen image on the side panel.

626.412 - 630.938 Unknown

You're so good at holding a pose. Hello. There he is.

630.958 - 631.398 Wade

Hey man, welcome back.

632.059 - 648.827 Unknown

Uh, it froze so thoroughly I couldn't even hit the reboot button. I had to shut the whole thing down. Your computer heard you might be upgrading it for Belling. Well, better get in line because I got the other computer I just built right next to it ready to go. Don't let them too close to each other, they'll shit talk you. Oh. Are you okay, Mark?

Chapter 5: What personal anecdotes are shared about tech mishaps?

676.627 - 691.977 Unknown

If you're watching on Spotify podcasts, if you're watching the video only available on Spotify, you could see the horrible situation that Mark is in. Yeah, it's suffering. Look at the illumination levels, Mark! It's not, yeah, I don't have quite the same amount of

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692.058 - 697.123 Ethan

edge lighting, but if it goes this way, then it's going to just, it's going to glare the screen and right there.

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697.383 - 717.803 Unknown

And literally my camera lens is like shadowed right there. Oh, that fixed it. Oh, perfect. I just moved my monitors. That's what it was. My monitor got moved too. Anyway, it's all good guys. All of Mark's problems are solved. That's all you've got going on over there, right? It was such an easy fix. I'm professional. You should laugh at that. That's that.

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717.823 - 739.076 Unknown

I think you told it well enough to earn some money. I think Mark is slowly being engulfed by hell the more we go into this. Yeah, Mark, are you second circle? Third circle? How far down? What the hell's happening to you? People are just listening at home. I am slowly sinking into a pit of lava and I am really embracing the pain and taking it like a champ.

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739.216 - 743.684 Unknown

You just want to see if your body can take it? Yes, exactly. And surprisingly, it can. It can.

743.924 - 746.348 Mark Fischbach (Markiplier)

Didn't you look normal like two minutes ago?

746.328 - 752.358 Unknown

Yeah, no, my main light, they're just these little battery-powered lights right now, because that's all I could bring with me.

752.678 - 760.09 Ethan

One of them just went out, because I don't have enough plugs for anything. My camera was running out of power before this, so I had this as my accent little, like, flavor light.

760.511 - 772.69 Unknown

Now it's my main light. Is it only red? It's not, like, adjustable? No, I could turn it to another color, but it... Oh, no, well, leave it, though. Yeah, exactly. Okay, I see. I'm with you. It's freaking Wade out. Wade looks like he's going to have a panic attack.

Chapter 6: How do guests react to ongoing technical difficulties?

832.108 - 858.333 Unknown

I also keep all of my best stuff in boxes. That didn't help at all. I thought that if there was a bright behind me, it wouldn't be like, oh, that, that background's bright enough. You really just look like you're green screened in at this point. Look, I could be in Mark's office too! Editors, explode Mark's background! Wait till I do this. I'll give you something to explode on. No. There we go.

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858.373 - 863.898 Unknown

There we go. There we go. Guys, my capture card is broken.

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863.938 - 872.885 Wade

Dune! What? Dune? You're in Dune! I'm in Dune. Doesn't that look like the palace in... Wait! Hit the screech!

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873.366 - 887.91 Unknown

I'll queue up the point! Ahhhh! It started actually on almost the correct note. That actually was really close. Yeah, but then he didn't understand what you were trying to get him to do. Yeah, I don't know what the hell you're referencing. What's wrong with that one part of Dune? Wait.

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888.251 - 888.351

What?

893.309 - 920.645 Unknown

This is a really inconvenient cutout that definitely won't be exploited. I'm sure no one will ever do anything wrong with this. Random unrelated question. How wide can you open your mouth? Oh, really wide. No. Wow. I hate this. Everything. I hate everything. How about this? Oh, look at that. Is this the whole, is this, is this small talk? Is this your small talk? No, I got other small talk.

920.986 - 948.547 Unknown

Let's do small talk. Let's move on to small talk. Wade, go ahead. My understanding is that's actually true. That if you got a butthole print, every person would have a unique butthole print. Did Bark disconnect or? I thought he was just that disgusted with you. Maybe he did disconnect again. Hello! I really thought he was just that, like, not having it with what you said. Oh, here's the text.

948.567 - 961.014 Unknown

Here you go. What were you talking about that made me think of anus chocolate? Something about... I was gonna bring up that we have... Oh, okay. Hey, man. Hey, how's it going?

Chapter 7: What insights are provided about the reliability of tech equipment?

961.234 - 989.732 Unknown

What in the fuck did I walk into? Have your anus and eat it too? Oh, so fucking close. Best looking. I didn't shower like I showered yesterday morning. So it's been like more than a day since I've showered. Are you trying to talk yourself out of the point or into it? I'm just being honest. Like, I don't know how I look to you guys. I feel pretty grimy. I'm not feeling like I look that great.

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989.952 - 1013.568 Unknown

I showered just yesterday. I'm on vacation. I'm so rested and relaxed. I'm glowing practically. If that's how you two want to determine it, I guess I can go that route. I was going to say I was going to give it to Bob because Bob's camera quality is just so much better today. I am. I'm more well lit. My camera is definitely doing a lot of work here. Hold on. Let me turn on studio light. Yeah.

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1013.989 - 1017.013 Unknown

My God, your shoulder is so sharp. Center stage.

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1020.92 - 1025.99 Ethan

No, come on. Come on, do it. Come on. Come on. Come on, do it.

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1026.31 - 1027.752 Unknown

Come on. Come on.

1028.172 - 1029.073 Bob

Oh, there you go.

1029.674 - 1050.317 Unknown

Yeah, for some reason when I turn it on in center stage, it kind of follows me. And then when I turn it off, it just zooms in. But why would it zoom in? That's really confusing, yeah. Apparently it can now, it was not like designed to do this, but it just started doing a thing where you can have it generate something and then take like a frame. Oh, for fuck's sake.

1051.597 - 1057.404 Wade

Listen to AI camera. Zoom out! Zoom out, you fuck!

1059.566 - 1073.121 Unknown

You can take a frame, which I'm gonna indicate like this. You can take a frame of video. Alright, well, um, our final score is 20 to 17 after the wheel spins. Uh, Mark, would you like to give us a winner's speech?

Chapter 8: What lessons can be learned from these tech blunders?

1124.577 - 1126.12 Mark Fischbach (Markiplier)

Okay.

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1126.252 - 1144.776 Unknown

Uh-oh. Is Bob gone? Oh, Bob! Come back! What a frame, though, to leave on. That's a great frame. That's a great frame. Hello? Hey, Bob! There he is! Oh, okay. There we go. Hey, man. Welcome back. Wasn't like Mark, where my eyes were in different directions, and I was all... Hello?

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1145.897 - 1152.225 Wade

The reason I turned my light on is because I feel guilty about it, but possibly for the first time ever, this is...

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1158.584 - 1178.135 Unknown

Maybe I should turn that setting off on my camera. No, it's a great setting, man. What were you trying to show us? You gotta learn to do the political gestures. Yeah, like, oh yeah, like flight attendants. Or two fingers for like the, you know, the Disney people. That would probably still do it. I don't even know. And V's and B's are pretty close.

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1178.355 - 1202.014 Unknown

Didn't you also say before this recording to remind you to talk about something? Cowbell. That was it. Cowbell. So I still, much to my chagrin, and I've talked about it endlessly, drive my Tesla that I've had for eight years, the giant piece of shit. And that's not just me like hating for hating. No, it's been bad. It's been really bad. I drove it off the lot as a piece of shit.

1202.094 - 1224.973 Unknown

It's been a piece of shit through every year of its warranty in which it's been in service every single year for many times the same problem, and they've done full replacements on the suspension three times, and now it is officially out of warranty. So if it happens again, I'm screwed. Anyway, in Tesla, there's a cowbell mode that... What? Is activated by pressing the cruise control four times.

1225.314 - 1249.345 Unknown

And the thing is, if I press it twice and it doesn't activate, I'm gonna press it, because to activate it, you press it twice, right? I go to click click and it doesn't go, so I go click click again. And then I activated cowbell mode. So for the rest of the fucking drive to Tyler's house... Wait. So is it, is it actually the song?

1249.365 - 1256.153 Unknown

Is there something weird about pressing cruise control multiple times and don't fear the reaper coming on? It is exactly, it was exactly that.

1256.173 - 1264.283 Bob

It was don't, all the time. What the fuck?

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