I Don’t Beef Wellington Someone Unless I Really Love Them | The Napoleonic Wars (Part 8/10)
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What is the opening premise of this Napoleonic Wars episode?
Thank you.
Welcome back to Finn vs. History. I'm still joined by Horatio Gould. Still. And we're still here. It's Napoleon Part 8. Part 8. The school shooter, things are starting to go wrong for him. Right. The police are amassed outside. Yeah. Like Ozymandias, he has run out of fat kids to massacre.
He doesn't have enough ammo to turn the gun on himself. Oh, fuck. Is there anything sadder than a school shooter who's run out of bullets to kill himself? Always leave one in the chamber. Or is he too cowardly as well? Because when he thinks he killed himself when it comes to his survival instincts kick in.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, I don't want to
die. Oh, fuck. We left off Napoleon had met his match in Russia, which did what Russia did and just set fire to the place. I mean,
you
can't you can't really. It's not cricket. I mean,
we're not playing that
game.
we could all just
we could all just annihilate ourselves if you know so I guess Russia had kind of ruined
it they jihaded themselves
was that
yeah it's white
jihad as a country
they alu
akbar'd Moscow When did they rebuild Moscow, Charlie? Because
they were... I was looking at this on ChatGPT. Oh, please, please. Cook. Because it was a young king, remember, and he was one of the... ChatGPT ranks him third best Russian monarch. I've been getting a lot of rankings going. You
can't understand history unless you rank
it. I need to rank it. You need to rank it. And I like how, you know, you try and ask people who know about history and they go, well, it's a complicated thing. You watch ChatGPT. Here's one, two... I'm like, just give me a... None of this bullshit. Just give me a definitive ranking. But he, because he was young, he had a long reign after this and spent about 20 years rebuilding it. Most of it was wooden.
How did the Duke of Wellington develop his defensive tactics and trench‑style warfare?
So it was all burnt. And he rebuilt it similar to like after the Great Fire of London. It was like rebuilt it in stone and stuff.
So Napoleon has had to retreat. Now, meanwhile, on his other front, Wellington is cooking in the peninsula. Now, the Duke of Wellington, look, it's episode eight. You've made a lot of cum noises this
series. The
prostates are imploded at this point. Right. Okay. They're hanging out the back of themselves. They're pink socking it. Every
night I'm hanging out the back of
myself. Every night of the week, I'm hanging out the back of myself because we're not even at the climactic battle yet. And there's so many battles still to go through. Now, Wellington, he'd learned how to beat Napoleon in Spain. Yeah.
Who is Paula Hitler and why does the podcast bring her up?
So Napoleon's brother, Joseph, He had two brothers, I think. He had maybe more. He had Joseph. He had Jerome. Yeah. Hey, man. Yeah. Jerome was his adopted brother. Yeah. They're like the Paula Hitlers of this story. Paula Hitler. Say her name. Paula Hitler, who was Hitler's sister who worked in HR. What happened to Paula? Can
we get Paula's story up? Why haven't we got a Patreon on Paula Hitler? Before we get into... Pause this. Pause this.
Why have we not dealt with the second most important woman in history after Ava Brown, Paula Hitler?
What?
What happened to Paula Hitler? She died of natural causes in 1960. Suspicious. In Berchtesgaden. So she was still at the nest. Yeah. Well, that's good to know. That's nice. That's good to know that it stayed in the family
until 1960. What was her
job? She gave a recorded television interview in 1959. She's
a broadcaster.
Was she? No. No. She just had one interview because she's Hitler's sister. That doesn't make her a broadcaster. It doesn't make her Terry Wogan. Paula
Hitler. Paula Hitler worked as a housekeeper, office secretary and military hospital secretary during her life. She lost her job at a Viennese insurance company in 1930 when her identity was discovered. After which she was financially supported by her brother. Well, that is lovely.
Yeah, that's nice. You've
got to take care of the
people you come up with. But also, how sad is that? Because, you know, her just because of what her family did. It's discrimination. Yeah. It's discrimination. She didn't do any of that stuff. No. She's the innocent Paula Hitler. She was a secretary. Paula Hitler's views on Jews, please.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the opening premise of this Napoleonic Wars episode?
0:01–1:48
2
How did the Duke of Wellington develop his defensive tactics and trench‑style warfare?
1:48–2:33
3
Who is Paula Hitler and why does the podcast bring her up?
2:33–23:05
4
Why is the 1813 Battle of Leipzig considered a turning point for Napoleon?
23:05–38:52
5
What happened to Napoleon after his defeat and how did his exile on Elba play out?
38:52–43:45
6
What’s the difference between dry and wet gangrene and why did the hosts discuss it?
43:45–52:34
7
What is the ‘Beef Wellington’ sex position and how did it become a running joke?
52:34–56:56
8
How does the episode set up Napoleon’s return in the Hundred Days and the upcoming Battle of Waterloo?
56:56–1:00:50
Speakers
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