310 | the goal of healing is not to be a chill cucumber

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What is the purpose of this episode and how does it challenge the “chill cucumber” healing myth?

Devoney Kodad 0:10
Hey friend, welcome to the Primo podcast. Are you ready to feel more peace and more confidence? Are you ready to stop second guessing and overthinking so you can be more outgoing, say yes to the adventures and put yourself out there more? Well, you are in the right place. My name is Devani. I'm a therapist, a faith-based yoga teacher, and a dog mom. And I remember being right where you are. Everything changed for me when I started blending mental health faith, and the nervous system.

Why does the host say the trend of “always staying calm” is an unhealthy perception of healing?

Devoney Kodad 0:40
In every episode, I'm going to share with you nuggets from my experiences in the mental health field and my own raw and perfect real-life lessons to help you feel more calm, rewire your brain, and own who you are so that you can start being who God created you to be unapologetically. Grab your iced coffee.
Let's dive in.
Devoney Kodad 1:17
Hey friend, welcome to the podcast. Okay, so there's this trend going around online and it's talking about how the purpose of healing is not just to be this like calm, cool cucumber all the time.

How did the host’s personal journey from anxiety‑filled early 20s to today shape her view of healing?

Devoney Kodad 1:32
And I just want to talk to you about it. I want to talk to you about it today. So I 100% agree. And I think there is this, there has been this trend of, ah, just become regulated and you'll be this little chill cucumber and you'll be calm all the time and nice and peaceful and you'll never feel upset.

What is the true goal of nervous‑system regulation and anxiety healing according to the host?

Devoney Kodad 1:56
You'll never get triggered. And then you can just be like a calm, cool person all the time. I absolutely agree. I think that this has been just kind of an unhealthy perception of what it means to be regulated, what it means to heal, heal in quotes, right?

How can giving yourself permission to feel “un‑cucumbered” lead to a more authentic, purpose‑driven life?

Devoney Kodad 2:16
And so I totally agree. And what I want to encourage you in, okay, for me is With healing, if I look back on the last 10 years, right, as someone who in her early 20s was deep in anxiety, deep in feeling dysregulated all the time, anxious, overthinking, in the spirals, replaying things in my head over and over again, deep people-pleasing patterns of not wanting to speak up, not wanting to set boundaries, okay? That version of me, that sweet young version of me, versus who I am now, I am absolutely not a chill cucumber. That is not, that has never been part of my process. And so I just want to share that, that that is not necessarily what the purpose of healing is. The purpose of healing

What practical next steps (free reset audio, breathing practice, community call‑to‑action) does the host recommend for listeners?

Devoney Kodad 3:12
purpose of healing and the goal of becoming more regulated, okay, are you ready, is to be able to experience life more fully, to be able to experience what God has for you, the day-to-day, the blessings, the gifts to step into your purpose, to be walking in your purpose intentionally and and to fully live your life, to be able to say more, to be able to experience more, to be able to genuinely be who God created you to be and to live fully and confidently in that. That is the purpose. That is the intention. It is not to be this chill cucumber all the time. And so I just want to share that with you. Like maybe pause and really ask yourself, what am I actually striving for here? What is my genuine goal?
Devoney Kodad 4:02
And also giving yourself permission. If you do not feel like a chill cucumber, that is okay. That is not the goal. The goal is to be able to experience life, to be present in your life, to walk in your purpose that God has for you, and to be who you are confidently creating and living a life that is genuine and authentic to you, that feels so true to you. That's what we want to be able to do. So when we're talking about getting out of anxiety and feeling more confident, setting boundaries, speaking up, saying yes to things, feeling more regulated, that is why. Quick reminder, friend, before we finish up that if you would like a guided breathing practice, a little four minute, some breathing, some grounding, maybe for the middle of your day when you're feeling really stressed or before bed, when you're trying to unwind, head down, go grab that free four minute reset.
Devoney Kodad 4:59
You will love it. Okay, friend, I will talk to you soon. Hey love, I hope you enjoyed this episode and a quick reminder for you. This show is for educational purposes only. Information from this show is not a substitute for mental health or medical treatment.

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