Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What announcements are made at the beginning of the episode?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Two huge announcements. Next week's episode will exclusively be on Netflix. On April 7th, Kill Tony can only be found for the first time ever on Netflix. So go to your Netflix app, set the reminder, set it in your calendars, tell everyone you know. Another huge announcement right now, Madison Square Garden. We are coming back to beautiful New York City August 16th.
This is your chance to get tickets. or the show. It sells out. It sold out twice last year. And we are starting with August 16th. Tickets go on sale with a special artist presale this Wednesday, April 2nd at 10 a.m. using the promo code KILL2025. And then tickets will be on sale for everybody this Friday, April 4th. But I highly recommend you use the artist presale.
That's when it sold out last year. using the promo code KILL2025 at Ticketmaster.com. Very few tickets left for Nashville this Friday, and we're going to be there Saturday too. I think that's sold out. And London, England, June 7th. These are the episodes of Kill Tony in which you have a chance of getting tickets.
So go to Ticketmaster.com, use the passcode KILL2025 for Madison Square Garden tickets. We'll see you in Nashville. We'll see you in London.
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Chapter 2: What are the details about the upcoming Netflix episode?
Tickets for those available at TonyHinchcliffe.com. We'll see you soon.
Hey, this is Revan coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Etchcliffe!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of your lives, huh? You're in the eye of the goddamn storm. The number one live podcast in the world. Brought to you by Shopify, Blue Chew, Nick, Via, Open Phone, and Takova's Boots. How about a hand for the best damn band in the land, huh? Have you ever seen anything like that before? Raul Vallejo.
Fernando Castillo, Carlos Sosa, Michael Gonzalez, Nachos Belgrande. That is Big Mike on the drums, Matt Muehling on the electric guitar, and D-Madness on the bass tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Oh my goodness. Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. Are you guys ready to start the fucking show or what?
As always, two of the best guests humanly possible. I mean, an absolute legend. One of them is a front runner for guest of the year 2025. The other is a guy who we have worked with for 18 years and is a comedy store legend. Ladies and gentlemen, if you love this show, you're going to love tonight's guest. Make some fucking noise for Sam Talent and Ian Edwards, everybody.
See what the best.
We are going to have some fun here tonight. Sam Talent, an absolute fucking freak machine. His book, Running the Light, is available everywhere right now. No doubt about it. Every single place that books are sold. Sam has a great book. I'm telling you. You podcast fans, you listen to a lot of podcasts. You listen to a lot of things. Read a fucking book. Read Running the Light by Sam Talent.
It's an easy read. It's a lot of fun. It's every comedian that you know's favorite book.
It's a book, Mike.
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Chapter 3: What is Sam Tallent's book about?
How long have you been doing stand-up? This is going to be my 13th year. 13th year. Where have you been doing it at? For the first 10, Toronto. And then I moved to New York for a couple of years during COVID. And then I just moved here. You originally from Toronto? Yeah, originally Canadian. So you're a Canadian. Yeah. Canadian Jew. Canadian and gay, the three strikes. Wow. Absolutely.
That's not good. Gayish, gayish. Canadian Jew moved to America right when healthcare got free. That is crazy. That's against your own grain there. Okay. So let's talk. What's your last name? Lieberman. The first guy looked way more Lieberman than you. It is amazing. You came out talking about how Jew-y you look, and we just had fucking the Jewish prince up here.
I look like the meme if I like... Oh, my God, you do. Oh, God. You said, I didn't. That's the most self-deprecating racist thing I've ever seen in my life. That is incredible. That you really do... Look at that. They're so excited. I love that. I like you, JJ. I like that. The fact that you would lean into something that racist on yourself is incredible.
Well, I like beards, but dude, if I got the beard, it's over. People go, it's him.
Absolutely. So does the JJ stand for Juju? Yes. It is incredible. What do you do? How do you make money? Uh, Kind of this. Kind of this? Yeah. Kind of what else? So, like, I was literally going day to day in New York.
I would bark for shows. I would hand out flyers for $10 an hour for comedy clubs. And I was, like, just getting by. And then about a few months ago, a couple videos went viral. And then I'm, like, selling sex machines on my Instagram. You're that guy. I'm that guy. Hold on. Hold on. You're so horny online.
Yeah, you're so horny offline. What the hell is going on? Find this video.
He's the guy.
How the fuck do you know about this? He makes these hilarious videos where he has like a fucking dick sucking machine and then he'll be at like TSA security.
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Chapter 4: What are the highlights of the guests' performances?
Like, if I'm going to, yeah, right. I've never met a celebrity on this show. This is crazy.
You like what you like. Red Band, you'd love his stuff. He can't find it. I know.
You need to have that shit pinned, man. It was after sometime in December. But I post every day. I'm ill.
Yeah. We could tell. I'm ill. We could tell.
They didn't like the gay shit at first.
They don't like it ever here.
Yeah, yeah.
At first, it always hurts a little bit, and then you get used to it.
Well, this little piglet was laughing when I said I was into everything.
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Chapter 5: Where is Mike Eaton and how is he introduced?
Where in the world is he? He's in the inside somewhere, we've been told. Where is Mike Eaton? Is he coming? Is that him? He's a big boy. Here he comes all the way from the back. Here comes Mike Eaton, everybody, representing the inside, even though he is a comedian. This is interesting. You guys having a good time tonight? April 7th. Netflix premiere of Kill Tony.
Make sure to mark it in your phones or whatever. Here he is one more time for Mike Eaton, everybody. Mike Eaton. Hello.
Chapter 6: What did Mike Eaton gain from his last appearance on the show?
My favorite human trafficker, favorite, is probably Harriet Tubman. Right? I mean, everyone else did it for money. She did it for the love of the game. She's just like moving people. That's a bad bitch.
Yeah.
She ran the Underground Railroad for 12 years, and I used to ask people if they knew how many people she saved. And I had to stop because a guy in Kansas said, too many. Fuck. A girl in San Francisco raised her hand to answer, and she had armpit hair, so I was like, gross, put it down. And then she said 120,000. I was like, you might be worse than the racist guy, because you're retarded, right?
Chapter 7: How did Mike Eaton get an ice cream sponsorship?
The actual answer is 70, which is good. It just feels a bit low. I thought she was a hero. It's not a railroad. That's a bus stop. Most of you are still convinced that is the bitch from the bus. It's a different one. That's it out of me. Mike Eaton. Welcome back, Mike.
Hello.
It's been a while. Hello, hello. Yeah, it has. Very funny man. Congratulations. Man, I was just like sitting in the crowd watching, and last night Jimmy and I roast battled, and I was very mean to him, and then I heard this terrible story. I was like, oh, no. I was so mean to the sweet boy. Well, he didn't do it. He's a pussy. Yeah. Yeah. So, Mike, let's talk about it.
Chapter 8: What unexpected story does Mike share about his experience with a woman?
What have you been up to since the last time you were on this show? Oh, man, so you changed my life the last time I was on the show. Okay, how did I do that? I came on and I talked about ice cream. Uh-huh. And my... Yeah, on par. And then the ice cream place gave me an ice cream sponsorship. You have an ice cream sponsorship? Yeah. Wow.
That's what you needed, buddy. That's like giving that last guy a loaded gun.
But you did also say to me last time we talked about I have sleep apnea.
I don't have health insurance. Right. And then one of your fans sent me a CPAP machine. Oh, my God. What goes better with an ice cream sponsorship than a CPAP machine? Isn't that insane? Yeah. Incredible. Yeah, so things are going well.
So do you put the ice cream down the CPAP machine? It's the only way he'll use it.
JJ kept trying to fuck it.
I don't know. Is the ice cream machine or is the ice cream sponsorship giving you money or just ice cream? Just ice cream. How much ice cream are you going through now? It's been quite a bit, yeah. It's been a couple years worth of ice cream. Wow. What ice cream place is this? They're called Besame. Besame. Ooh la la. Yeah. I know.
They found out about it, and then they made a flavor and named it after me. Oh, my God.
Well, they call it red face fuck. I'm kidding. I've known Mike forever. He's very funny.
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