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The Agenda

"Humming On My Balls"

08 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the Blackcaps' chances against Australia in the WTC Final?

0.031 - 12.086 Joe Jury

Hey, fellas. James, how are you? Oh, hi, guys. How's it going? Hey, I was on the phone to Paul Stewart Ford last night, New Zealand's premier sports journalist and BYC host. You've been organising your next mental health retreat, were you? Kind of.

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12.446 - 26.188 Joe Jury

I did say to him, I said every time the England tour gets mentioned, I just get a pang of not jealousy, but just the desire to be at Lourdes on day one. Oh, God, no. And be there.

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26.208 - 44.918 Joe Jury

At Lourdes on day one of the summer, and in England there's a distinct roar, there's a distinct hubbub about Lourdes, about being at Lourdes, buying a bottle of champagne, walking in with it, cracking it at lunchtime that – Because I too have the similar feeling, but it's more of I just hope G-Lane's not there. I've got no real care about myself or anything else.

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44.958 - 49.585 Joe Jury

I just hope that you're not there. So are you having conversations about getting over there?

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Chapter 2: What is the Halvves dilemma facing the Warriors?

49.605 - 54.473 Joe Jury

No, I just saw tickets are available to Lords. For the World Tennis Championship? Well, have you had a look at the standings, boys?

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54.824 - 74.294 Unknown

I know, and I saw that Joe Jury has gone out hard trolling Indian fans on the ACC. Oh, yes. I broke my neck looking for India in the rankings, and I was like, oh, here we go. And, of course, the good thing is all the ACC followers are just posting, like, fishing gifts and popcorn.

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74.314 - 84.625 Joe Jury

Yeah. Well, have you seen the one that's about to go up? I'm not sure if you put it up with the 15-year-old protege in the IPL and the Tiger King meme with Kyle Jameson. Oh.

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84.685 - 89.309 Unknown

No, I thought better of that because I was like, I don't think we can put a 15-year-old kid on a chain.

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90.07 - 90.55 Joe Jury

Oh, that's gross.

90.57 - 94.634 Unknown

I thought it may have been. I can't believe you've actually got boundaries.

Chapter 3: What insights does 'Sports Administration Corner' provide?

94.835 - 95.175 Unknown

I know.

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95.275 - 96.776 Joe Jury

And when it comes to children, I think it's.

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96.977 - 100.34 Unknown

Joe Dewey is the new Broadcasting Standards Authority.

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100.36 - 102.482 Joe Jury

Joe SA. Joe SA.

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Chapter 4: What should fans expect from the upcoming Super Rugby Pacific round?

102.462 - 121.193 Joe Jury

So Aussie right now is sitting at the top of the World Test Championship standings with 84 points. We're sitting on a measly old 28, but that doesn't matter. What's the percentage? So South Africa, we're on 77.78. Australia on 87. And then South Africa are just behind us on 75. India all the way down. So we're second? Yep. So first and second so far.

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121.394 - 121.855 Unknown

Yeah.

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121.895 - 141.591 Joe Jury

This is a crucial. England's a long way down. Baseball is not good. Hence. So if we do right over in England and then we do okay against India at home, when's the end of the Test World Test Championship cycle? End of this year? I'm not too sure. Maybe it's a question for B1C. We've been asking for these games, these, you know, calibre of games for a long time now. Yeah, I know.

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141.691 - 157.329 Joe Jury

In a summer of cricket like this. We're just going to have to make sure we're going to make the most of it because we've got the tests, but can we convert? India here will be tough. Yeah. If we make the final against Aussie in Lords, I'm 100% going. Yeah, and it upsets me to say that you probably deserve to. You've got to go.

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157.53 - 163.637 Joe Jury

You've got to go because it's like the one-day final in Lords against England. It's never going to, in my lifetime, probably won't happen again.

Chapter 5: How can fans engage with the podcast through feedback?

163.617 - 191.667 Joe Jury

um what what what needs to happen when's the final i mean these are questions though i think it's next it's next year it'll be next year next year next year right right so these games this summer will count and then it should cut off about what march okay yeah i'd love to i'd love to see another world test champion with the black caps and that was one of the best sporting victories i've ever been a part of the five six days here it was six days in the year yeah even australia choked against the africa too yeah lords yeah it's on it's magnificent keep an eye on that

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191.647 - 215.924 Unknown

One thing about the England tour always reminds me of talking to Neil and Tim Finn's dad, Dick Finn, who's a massive cricket hundy. Dick Finn. Dick Finn. And he was an accountant in Te Ao Mutu, and he loved cricket so that he stayed up all night either listening or watching. When he got Sky, he was like, brilliant, I can watch the test all the way through.

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216.285 - 218.548 Unknown

And I don't think there's a lot of people who go –

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218.528 - 248.029 Joe Jury

all night overnighters it's tough you watch the first session I reckon I'm first session max and I'm asleep can you we can get some yours pleases of people who go all night for the cricket it's easy the first session's a breeze isn't it yeah it's good I'd love that first few overs of England cricket overnight because it's dark and a bit cold here and then you but then you get a full asleep to cricket and wake up to cricket and that's pretty naughty yeah that is good that's one of the great feelings shall we move on there's quite a bit to talk about today um

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248.009 - 253.302 Joe Jury

So live from the Export Beer Garden studio, this is the Agenda podcast for Friday the 8th of May. Happy Friday.

253.322 - 260.28 James McOnie

The Agenda podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and claptrap. Brought to you by Export Ultra.

261.02 - 280.1 Joe Jury

Well, well, well. Should have we seen this coming? A halves dilemma at the New Zealand Warriors appears poised to become a problem with Luke Metcalf's management reportedly seeking a meeting with the club over its long-term plans when it comes to Lukey Metcalf. He finds himself in a situation where he's stuck behind Tanner Boyd at the moment, or that's at least what the management are saying.

280.64 - 293.153 Joe Jury

What do you think the Warriors should do? That's interesting. I didn't know that. Yeah, this is new. So is that the rumours that his manager is... seeking either, what, more money or wants a release? Well, I had a chat to Manoa about it this morning and it very much seems like maybe the first.

293.213 - 299.226 Joe Jury

It seems like a management move at this stage to, you know, he knows that halves are a fairly lucrative topic. When's he signed till the end of 28?

Chapter 6: What are the latest updates in rugby administration?

299.727 - 301.511 Joe Jury

I don't know, unfortunately.

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301.531 - 326.176 Unknown

Leaky management, it's a bit of a kind of like, It's a bit of a douchey move, isn't it? Yeah. Because you're kind of saying, dangling your guy out there going, hey, we want him to be paid top halfback rates. And then if it's not by you, someone else. Hey, by the way, Lukey Metz out there available. And so they're trying to, I guess, say he's a premier halfback, but he hasn't played much.

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326.476 - 348.334 Unknown

And that's the issue. He's... Shitty's a good player. He can run like the wind. And he's such a lovely bloke. He's one of the few sports people who I would happily adopt. Yeah. Like he met. Yeah. He's a lovely man. He's a chatterbox though, so you'd have to, on the car trips, I think you'd have to probably say, you listen to your podcast, I'll listen to mine. But that's about it.

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348.514 - 364.667 Joe Jury

Yeah. That's all. What annoys me about this is the league players and their penchant for just not following their contracts through and putting themselves out there. Because I'm pretty sure he's signed up pretty long term. And he's going to leave with compassionate grounds again.

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364.827 - 372.422 Unknown

Bit of a trade situation. Can we get into some league chat? I've looked quite good without him. Yes. So that is a big problem for his value.

Chapter 7: What are the highlights from the Super Rugby matches this week?

372.442 - 392.479 Unknown

That's the elephant in the room, isn't it? Tanner Boyd has been great in the number seven. Chanel Harris, Tevita, he's just taking names. He's the smashed and bro regular on Crowd Goes Wild. So he is one of those guys. He's a halfback who can hit or a standoff who can hit. So then, and now, because Lukey Met was such a good runner,

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392.459 - 409.221 Unknown

You've got Lekha in the starting lineup now, so you've got an even better runner out in those sort of channels. And you've got Tain Tuopuki, who's a tackle beater. You're lightning. And so it's like... And the Pakistani prince. Oh, exactly. I mean, you expect your wingers to be quick, right?

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409.301 - 411.806 Joe Jury

He's... But he's, like, got something else.

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412.026 - 428.473 Unknown

Oh, he's absolutely lightning. But let's put wingers aside. I'm just talking about other people in the team who can break the line, right? So now you've got those guys, you kind of just, the need for his wheels has lessened, is all I'm saying. You've got, I mean, Lekker is lightning.

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428.993 - 431.196 Joe Jury

He hasn't played. He's been a bit quiet, though, hasn't he?

431.256 - 431.536 Unknown

He has.

432.077 - 441.19 Joe Jury

It's Oregoners for the best. That's my conspiracy. If he was as rowdy as he was at the beginning of the season or the beginning of last season, we're in some real trouble. We might lose him pretty quickly if we don't watch out.

441.21 - 447.138 Unknown

But you're right, G-Lane. Can't put at it as having a winger who's just so freaking quick. Fastest man on the field.

Chapter 8: How does listener feedback shape future podcast episodes?

447.158 - 447.879 Joe Jury

That's great to have.

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448.139 - 448.56 Unknown

Yeah, it is.

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448.58 - 460.213 Joe Jury

Because you know when they have a breakaway, every time DWZ gets an intercept, I'm like, come on, come on. I'm whipping myself. I'm on the couch whipping my ass. But if Khan Pereira gets it, I'm like, yeah, boy.

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460.233 - 475.266 Unknown

And I've always said we should have more Pakistani players. Yeah, absolutely. I've always said that on the podcast. Yeah. Like, where are they? They bring confrontation. Exactly. And we know that they're quick. Yeah. And so we need them in our team. Have you seen him bowl? And finally, they got the recruiting right. What's that?

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475.346 - 476.988 Joe Jury

Have you seen him bowl? Does he play?

477.008 - 478.729 Unknown

Oh, no. Rapid bowler.

478.769 - 480.03 Joe Jury

He would come off the back fence.

480.05 - 485.217 Unknown

And beautiful eyelashes. Yeah. Yeah. Camel-like. Yeah, beautiful.

485.297 - 486.88 Joe Jury

Long, big, long things.

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