Local Hour: Heat Stroke
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Where did tequila's story begin?
Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here?
Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Cuervo.
Cuervo.
Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show.
Why is the Miami Heat a controversial topic?
Shadow show. Shadow in it. Shadow in it. Jess, I really need your help today. I think more than I ever have in the history of our company because your face... when we talk about the Heat and Jimmy Butler and Coke. Yeah, your face speaks for what I know is the audience outside of Miami. And Zaslow is a bigger homer than Mike.
I just don't think that's true or possible.
I don't think that's true. I'm telling you. It's impossible, Dan. I think that Zaslow is more than Parakeet Cortez.
Ask him what he thought about Xavier Restrepo's 40 time and see what he says. And then we can decide who's a bigger homer. But it's really hard to beat Mike and Jeremy.
So this is what I need your help with, because I think that Jimmy Butler's stuff is going to contaminate the show, poison it. And I've seen over the last, I don't know, 12 months, you have been beaten down by heat disease. Like it's it's there's no subject around here. It's called heat stroke. Any amount of heat talk makes like I see it on your face. And when I see it on your face, I see the rest of our audience outside of Miami.
I've hated the Miami Heat since the decision because Michael Wilbon told me LeBron James was going to come to the Bulls and he didn't. And then I moved here and I hated them even more because I had to sit next to Mike Ryan and Jeremy for four years.
So what am I going to do today? I just can't do it, Dan. I can't do it anymore. Don't make me do it. Jeremy just ran across the street for live coverage. He just ran across traffic. What are you laughing about?
What if we just tell him he's going to be on the air, but we really just leave him across the street? I think that's what Dan was planning to do already.
I have a problem, though, because, Roy, you can vouch for this. Who's a bigger heat homer, Zaslow or Mike Ryan? Zaslow. He bought a championship ring.
What? He did?
I think he owns... That's crazy. No, I think he owns two championship rings that the team gave him. Why did you just accuse him of buying a championship ring? He bought the championship ring.
That is not in any way true.
This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
If you were not listening during the Shadow Show, I do believe that I just heard Roy make an accusation against Jonathan Zaslow that is the single greatest insult uttered from one person who works here to another that I have ever heard. I read on the face of Jonathan Zaslow more hatred for Roy. Shocking. Who he's loved all his life. More hatred for Roy for accusing Jonathan Zaslow of buying a Miami Heat championship ring in
Instead of earning it. Earned, not given. You've heard that before, right? Earned, not given.
I didn't say you didn't earn it.
I just said you bought it. That is a shocking accusation. That's very... That's not how I expect to start a Tuesday. I thought I was coming in here. I thought everybody's feeling good about themselves. I thought we're going to be all over the heat's tip tonight because Jimmy Butler is here and he's part of the enemy. I'm just saying, all right? I thought we were all on the same page, and that is a heavy accusation.
What do you think, hypothetically, hard times, Zaslow Manor, what do you think you could get for those rings?
You know, let's just put it this way, all right? Everybody knows that if their house caught fire in the middle of the night, we all have that one thing that we would grab on the way out. And the box with my rings in it. That's right, rings, plural. Plural. The box with my rings in it. That's what I'd be grabbing. So the best way to answer that question is, priceless, baby.
Okay, let's say, hypothetically, you have to sell something. And in this weird world, it's like a Zaslo fan that just won Zaslo memorabilia. And it is either one of your rings or your children's birth certificates.
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Chapters
4 chaptersSpeakers
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