I Gave My Husband an Ultimatum and Now He Wants a Divorce
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What happens when you give your husband an ultimatum?
There may be rebuilding. There's maybe building something totally new, but I mean, you said if you cross this line, this thing's burned to the ground, and he crossed the line, and then it burned to the ground, and now you're like, oh, just kidding. Is that what happened?
Um, kind of. Tell me all about it. Yeah, so I gave him the ultimatum, and it had kind of been, like, Just really our entire relationship, but most of our almost four-year marriage, him crossing lines and rules that I felt like we had set pretty much in our relationship. What lines and rules?
That language kind of makes me feel weird.
Okay, yeah, that's fair. I call it a rule instead of a boundary because I don't feel like it fits the definition of a boundary. But we had more of like a rule in our relationship that neither of us would... um, watch porn or kind of consume things that were just overtly sexual. Um, and he never watched porn at least while we were married. Um, but he would look at things really sneaky and behind my back that we both felt like just crossed that line. Um, and there were times where I would, I would catch him or he would tell me, um, which is great, I guess. But, um, Yeah, so I just kind of had felt like I didn't really want to deal with that anymore. And I don't know, he just had a very adverse reaction to it.
At first, he really understood and was like, I'm trying my best and I have a lot of respect for you and I want to be better for you. And then a few weeks later, he came home and told me that He didn't think he wanted to be married anymore and he felt like he couldn't look at me the same after the ultimatum. And me doing that, you know, giving him an ultimatum while he felt like he was trying his best to figure this out, made him lose like respect and attraction for me. And it made him realize that he wasn't super happy in our marriage because he felt like he was being controlled.
Okay. And so just as you're describing this, it sounds very much like me talking to the parent of a teenager.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What happens when you give your husband an ultimatum?
2:22–13:45
2
How can you rebuild trust after a relationship ultimatum?
13:45–22:55
3
What are the impacts of a miscarriage on a marriage?
22:55–25:08
4
How to support a partner through grief and loss?
25:08–39:58
5
What should you consider before deciding on divorce?
39:58–42:35
6
How to communicate effectively in troubled relationships?
42:35
7
Why is it important to acknowledge grief in a relationship?
37:20–53:54
8
What role do boundaries play in relationships?
53:54–1:02:42