Help I’ve Been Wiping My Face With His D*ck Towel | And EVERYONE’S Horny
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What new competition have William and Jordan started to decide who’s the funniest on the podcast?
Your Dilemma Daddies are on the way. Straight after this episode, hit play on Get a Grip with Angela Scanlon and Vicky Patterson. Holiday season is here, finally, and the ladies are unpacking a dilemma of their own. Have holidays become too performative? You know Angela and Vicky have plenty to say on the subject. Search for Get a Grip now and queue up the episode to play straight after this one to hear all of their holiday hot takes.
How does a surgeon harm patients and not face prison? Underneath St Helena's volcanic, lush scenery is a shocking, ongoing scandal.
They did the damage to him and make our life harder than it used to be.
A surgeon came to help, but left devastation behind. I'm Luke Jones. After the Pitcairn trials, I headed to a different, isolated community to investigate. Listen to The Surgeon of St Helena.
Hello and welcome to Help I Sexed My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life, answering your 21st century questions and finding solutions to those everyday dilemmas. Like, what should you do when your mum becomes a gay icon after wearing an I Heart Gays t-shirt? Go on. What's your mum called? Sarah. Or how do you admit to your partner you need to get a spreadsheet out to track your body count? And of course, what should you do if you've accidentally sexed your boss? But we're not usual, are we, William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette expert?
No, we're not. Jordan North, Capital Radio Show host. You're more doodle-oo-da-loo. I'm more any cock will do. It's not normally the way around we do it. I like that. And also, so much to say. That's from Mara, who was inspired by a card she found in Affleck's Palace. What's Affleck's? It's in Manchester. I went when I lived there. Then Affleck's house. No, I thought it was National Trust, but apparently it's a department store thing. It says the only difference between you and a cockerel is the cockerel says cock-a-doodle-doo and you say any cock will do. Very good. Lovely. Well, Mara, you need to pay close attention to the podcast. There's some very good cards out at the moment, some really funny ones. I love a funny card.
There is. Well, in Scribbler and stuff. Someone I know sent a funny card to a relative, a parent, let's put it that way. And the parent was really offended. And it wasn't an offensive card. It wasn't like that one. It was just a witticism. And the parent was really offended that they didn't send a sincere card. You know those cards that have poems on them? Yeah. You're going like, you're the best son or you're the best daughter-in-law I could ever imagine, et cetera. I can't stand those. It's got to be a funny card.
I was going to say, where are your own funny cards? Because I always send you funny cards. Yes, I always send you funny cards. Do you send your parents one? Absolutely. I don't send my mum one, but I send my dad one.
Do you send your mother a card? I send her a card, but I won't send her a funny one. Oh, no, I always send... I've sent my mother one about drinking alcohol. It's her birthday coming up.
It was very close to home, darling. I had a sense of humour failure, but thank God it's my birthday, so I was pissed on champagne from two nights before.
um talking hi guys oh hello ben i would say though that in those card shops some of the cards are absolutely savage yes my uncle gets the really rude cards from me because he sends me really rude cards and i've got him one i think this year's it said it was like a window with night sky and some stars and it said the cold play lyrics look at the stars look how they shine for you and they just were there saying twat Or maybe something stronger.
There's one that's like, you've got a big heart, but your arse is bigger.
Wow. It's just like, Christ.
How do the hosts vote each episode to determine the funniest participant?
No, I wouldn't send that. What do you do with your old birthday cards? I do keep certain ones.
I do as well.
I keep the good ones.
I've got a memory box now. It's more of a... You keep forgetting where you put it. But it's turned into like, it used to be a shoe box, but now. Well, that's used for other things.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What new competition have William and Jordan started to decide who’s the funniest on the podcast?
0:02–3:46
2
How do the hosts vote each episode to determine the funniest participant?
3:46–10:23
3
Why did Adele attend the live show and how did the hosts react?
10:23–12:18
4
What is the Fairy Skip the Soap product and why are the hosts recommending it?
12:18–13:38
5
Why do the hosts claim everyone gets extra horny during the summer heat?
13:38–14:35
6
What etiquette advice is given for cleaning a partner’s house when they’re not there?
14:35–16:07
7
How should someone deal with a mismatched blonde moustache after dyeing?
16:07–17:21
8
What is the proper etiquette for sharing towels with a partner?
17:21–50:09
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from Help I Sexted My Boss
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