Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
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Hey, how are you? Yes.
What a great start.
We're here. Wow, you guys missed an incredible joke. Wow. We're here live with the Ari Shafir. Thanks, guys. He's got a new special out on Netflix called America's Sweetheart. Yeah, that's what I am.
I like that.
I don't know how you've tricked everybody into thinking you're some nice fucking guy. I hate it. Everybody's always around me. They're like, Ari's great. He's so nice. He helps other cops. I know he's a fucking devil. Only when the cameras are on, I'll give a dollar to an open mic-er. You're a sack of shit. And then I'll take it back. Well, yeah, it's exciting stuff, dude. Thanks. Congratulations on the special. It's awesome. Thanks. I'm digging the vibes in here today. Me too, dude. Very NPR-esque. I think so, too. Oh, yeah, wow. Very low, very... You think we're going NPR right now? I think we're going a little quiet. I like that, yeah. I don't mind it. How about this? Hey, say, hey, welcome, Ari again. Hey, welcome Omar Shafir. Thanks Shane, thanks Matt.
It's been a pleasure. I've been listening to you guys for a long time. I got to check out your special last night and wow, what a special treat that was. Thank you. That's an honor. When you interviewed Charlie Rose, that was one of the greatest interviews I've ever seen.
It's very transgressive.
It was transgressive. Wait, what's that word? Don't worry about it. Against aggressive trans. Oh, right, right, right.
Transgressive. Yes. That'd be a sick name for like a roller derby player, like a giant lady.
My name's Transgressive. Transgressive.
It's an enforcer. Yeah, an enforcer.
Yeah.
Do you used to watch roller derby on TV?
Yeah, I used to think it was going to be so cool.
Yeah, I didn't know what to think about it.
On paper, I thought, I was like, this is going to be incredible. Honestly, kind of like slam ball. Yeah. On the trampoline. Slam ball was pretty great. I thought it was going to be incredible. They would take a fucking bull. XFL, trash, roller derby, trash.
Well, roller derby to me, it was like, in my head for some reason, I was like, oh yeah, girls in the roller blades, short shorts. And I was like, these girls are pretty strong.
They're going to scissor.
I thought I was going to get way more into it sexually. And I was like, this is.
Oh, you went into it sexual. I went into it strictly for the game. You went for the love. Sounds like a cool sport.
It sounded to me like a sexual thing when I was younger. I was like, oh, yeah, roller derby time. And I'm like, man, these are some giant ladies.
I'm like, yeah, I take that one chick and they just launch her. Yeah, that's fun. And then someone else is like, close line. You're like, oh, fuck, why'd you launch me? Yeah, it's nice.
Yeah, I guess the point guard girls were kind of.
They're all kind of, yeah, they're either giant butch lesbians or giant straight sluts. Yeah, true. You know. yeah what's uh yeah it was like girls they wear like you know i mean they have like throwback tattoos of yeah they were like um what's that word i'm looking for uh what's it betty rockabilly is that it no burlesque i'm thinking of burlesque dancers yeah it's very much burlesque dancers wrestling each other yeah burlesque dance you've ever felt you've ever gotten into that i've had to do stand-up shows at some of those and again something i thought i'd be into the exactly you see the dancing you know it's the same as stand-up fucking the low-level ones they're like please come free drinks yeah yeah burlesque is pretty i like yeah the same way i'm like oh yeah it's gonna be awesome and you're like this is this sucks i don't even want to see these girls do this and you're like take it all off like we don't take it all off we take some off
Yeah, it's like librarians. It is. Librarians showing their fucking underwear.
Just put your fucking clothes back on and go back to the library. I don't want to. You don't have to do this.
Why are you doing this? Does Dewey Decimal not pay well?
Yeah, we're anti-burlesque here. I don't like that at all.
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