Truth Lives in the Tension: The Leadership Skill Nobody Teaches

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What question should I ask after every conversation to gauge impact?

Kevin Kauffman 0:01
Welcome to Next Level Agents, the podcast that's all about breaking barriers and building empires. I'm Kevin Kaufman, and together with my crew, bringing you straight up fire. Interviews with top tier agents, game changing thinkers, plus the strategies and mindset shifts to dominate in real estate. Whether it's personal growth, leadership packs, or next level tactics, we've got you covered. So tell me, what does the next level look like for you? Buckle up, because we're about to take you there right now. There's a leadership mistake I see over and over again. And being honest, I've made it myself, right? Probably more times than I care to admit. The reason this came up is we held a mastermind recently.
Kevin Kauffman 0:44
I was talking to my good friend, Dustin Runyon. Many of you have heard Dustin on this podcast or maybe on his podcast or you've heard him speak. and he shared this concept with me that i just couldn't stop thinking about i've always thought about this but in different terms and he shared a word with me that i'll share with you as we get deeper into this podcast that is the kind of the genesis of this episode so It's the idea that in any situation, there's just one right answer. There's one way to lead, one right way to grow, one right way to build a business. And the reality is that's not how high-level operators think because the truth is the best leaders don't choose one side. They learn how to hold two opposing truths at the same time.
Kevin Kauffman 1:32
And that's a skill. It's called dialectical thinking. So this is what Dustin and I were talking about is dialectics. And if you can learn how to use dialectics, it can change how you lead, how you recruit, how you build relationships, how you make decisions. It can change everything in your life. so first let's start off with what like what is a dialectic right when people hear the word dialectic it sounds and this is what i thought like it just sounds so academic like it's from a philosophy class or just something really abstract But as I dove into it, what I found is actually incredibly practical. The idea goes back to, it's George Wilhelm, Frederick Hegel, I'm sure I messed that up, but it's a very simple idea.
Kevin Kauffman 2:18
A dialectic is when two opposing ideas are both true at the same time. I'm going to say that again for you. A dialectic is when two opposing ideas are both true at the same time, not one or the other, but both. And instead of choosing between them, you learn how to operate from the tension between them. Because here's the mistake most people make.

How does dialectical thinking differ from choosing a single right answer?

Kevin Kauffman 2:42
They think growth comes from picking the right side, but growth comes from integrating both sides. Okay. So let me give you an example. You've probably said things like, I just need to be more confident when I'm doing this. Or maybe on the other side, I should probably be more coachable. Maybe somebody said to you, you need to be more coachable. But my question is, what if the answer is you need to be more confident and coachable? Not one or the other, but both, right? So here's a few other dialectics that show up for us every single day. I am enough and I have work to do. I love you and here's the truth. I move fast and I'm patient. I'm certain and I'm open to being wrong. See, most people collapse onto one side or the other.
Kevin Kauffman 3:40
My belief is top performers don't. They're able to hold both. So let me bring this into real estate, okay? Because this is where I can see this breaking down all the time for people. So like in recruiting, your average recruiter will say, like they sell the dream. Or maybe they're a knockout artist. They hit people with reality. Great recruiters both inspire people and tell them the truth. Here's this incredible opportunity, and it's going to require more than you think. See, that's credibility. That builds trust. Or in leadership, most leaders lead one direction. They're either like all empathy or all accountability. The best leaders I know, they care deeply about their people and they hold a high standard.
Kevin Kauffman 4:31
Hey, I've got you.

Why is holding two opposing truths at once better than picking a side?

Kevin Kauffman 4:33
And this performance isn't acceptable. Like that's not harsh.

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