S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
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What is envy and how does it affect us?
Hey everybody and welcome back to The Messy Podcast. If you want to skip the ads and get right into the good stuff, you can sign up to be a premium member on Apple Podcasts. Or you can also head over to our website at themessypodcast.com. And today we are going to deep dive into a topic. that I think we've all experienced at one time or another, that twinge of envy.
Yes.
But the big question is, can we actually use envy as a guidepost for personal growth?
I love this topic.
Episode three, comparison is your greatest teacher.
It sounds so counterintuitive, right? We're always told to stop comparing ourselves. Right. But like, what if those feelings are actually clues about what we want and aspire to?
Yeah. You know, I was thinking about this just the other day. I was scrolling through Instagram, saw friends just picture perfect vacation photos. And I felt that pang of envy. Like, why doesn't my family look that happy on vacation? I know that a lot of our listeners out there. can relate to that.
Yeah, absolutely. And like, it's no surprise we feel this way, right? Our brains are literally wired to make comparisons. It's a primal survival mechanism. So think about our ancestors, right? For them, comparing themselves to others was crucial for survival. They needed to assess their social standing, their resources, their potential mates. And the part of the brain responsible for this is the amygdala, which is constantly standing our environment and comparing us to those around us.
So you're saying our brains haven't quite caught up to the digital age yet.
Yeah.
Because like in today's world, that ancient comparison mechanism can go a little haywire, especially with social media. Okay, before we get too deep into that, let's pause for a moment to hear from our sponsor.
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Du liegst in der Badewanne und hörst deinen Podcast. Doch hui, das Plätschern des Wassers wird zum Meeresrauschen und plötzlich fliegst du in den Süden. Ägypten, Kanaren, Griechenland, Türkei, Karibik. Der warme Sand zwischen den Zehen und kühles Getränk in der Hand und die Sonne auf der Haut. Nicht träumen, Alturs buchen. Alles drin, alles gut, alles für dich. Alturs, alles aber günstig. Jetzt im Reisebüro oder auf alturs.de.
Thanks for listening to that. Let's jump back into it. Constantly in our face with everyone else's highlight reel.
Exactly. Social media is like comparison on steroids. It's not just about seeing those vacation photos. It's about those perfectly curated lives, the career milestones, those effortless successes. Oh, yeah. And every time we see those posts, you know, our brain gets a hit of dopamine that feel good chemical.
So wait a minute. We actually get rewarded for comparing ourselves.
Yeah.
Even when it makes us feel bad.
I know. Isn't that crazy?
That seems messed up.
It is. It's totally messed up. It's like this dopamine loop that keeps us hooked on scrolling and comparing even when it leaves us feeling inadequate. But the good news is we can totally break free from that cycle and even use those envy triggers to our advantage. okay i'm intrigued how do we do that okay so i call it the let them power move okay it's this two-part framework that helps you reframe envy and use it as fuel for your own personal growth and the first part is all about detachment you literally say to yourself let them have their wins let them post those perfect vacation photos
So it's about recognizing that their success doesn't take away from your worth or potential.
Yes, exactly. It's about like taking your power back.
Yeah.
And not letting those external comparisons dictate how you feel about your own life. And then once you've detached from that need to compete or compare, you can move on to the second part of the framework, which is let me.
Can envy be used for personal growth?
Let me. What does that mean?
OK, this is where you turn envy into a roadmap for personal growth instead of dwelling on what others have you shift your focus to what you want to achieve. And one of the most effective tools for this is the comparison journal, a comparison journal.
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Chapters
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