UNCUT | How Ramy Youssef Became Kebob Dylan

episode

Previously titled “How Ramy Youssef Became Kebob Dylan” — renamed by the publisher on Sep 1, 2026

SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma 32 min 4 speakers 2 chapters transcribed
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What is the main topic of this episode?

Andrew Kuo 0:00
Alright, so we're going to do the take and then we're just going to keep talking. Okay, good. Alright. So what's your take? Wait, give me again. Okay. I saw this flash. This is going in the episode.
Ramy Youssef 0:13
So what's your take? Fundamentally... Everyone is a good person. Every single person on earth is a good person. 100% disagree.
Andrew Kuo 0:29
I can think of countless examples of bad people. I'm not even going to rattle them off.
Ramy Youssef 0:33
People are not bad. They're infected. Infected with what? With whatever it is. They're infected with hatred, with greed, with lust, whatever it is that takes them away from being good. But I would argue that they're only able to go through with how much bad things that they do because they contain good. So people pick up on the good, right? No, no, no, no. They pick up on the good that's in them, and then they think, okay, well, maybe this is a good plan. And then, boom. But I can make an argument that anyone deep down has that good core. They're just covered in layers of sickness. Let's play a little game. Hit me. George Bush. Have you seen his paintings? I mean, you can see the good coming out of them.
Ramy Youssef 1:16
Then there is like the mass, mass killing, right? And how did that happen? Because people probably saw his side hustle with the painting and they go, this is a good guy. And then he goes, well, before I launched the painting thing, I got another idea. Iraq. Let's just do that. Now we're in Iraq.
Kareem Rahma 1:31
Let's just do that.
Ramy Youssef 1:33
And some of that comes off of, I'm sure Cheney and Rumsfeld and all these dudes. Are good guys. They're good. They are good people. And they're heavily infected. I don't want to be anywhere near them. Right. And I had this unlock during COVID. Right. Where, you know, you love someone, but they've got COVID. So I was like, well, I can't be near you. Right. This is a revelation. This is how it hit me. Oh, wow. You are infected. You're not. You are not COVID. You have COVID. Right. You are not infected. greed and hatred and all these things, but man, you are fully, fully infected by them.
Andrew Kuo 2:06
So Bush is infected with what, like Conqueror Syndrome?
Ramy Youssef 2:10
Oh, all sorts of things. I mean, I think like capitalism, the military-industrial complex. I mean, these are all very serious infections. They pack money. These are all like really serious. Being infected by capitalism is hilarious.
Andrew Kuo 2:23
Yeah, yeah, it's a really bad disease. There's no vaccine. Who else is bad? Who else is bad? I'll say it. Bibi. Yeah, Netanyahu? Yeah.
Ramy Youssef 2:32
He's not a good person. At the core, there is an argument to be made that some people might not be people. And that's where we kind of get into, like, aliens, we get into djinn, we get into ghosts. We get into ghosts and that kind of thing. But I don't know. I don't know if a ghost or a djinn could become a president. I'm not sure.

What are the philosophical views on human goodness?

Andrew Kuo 2:52
I think that BB might be infected by a djinn. That might be it. He has a dark spirit.
Ramy Youssef 2:57
It's very possible. I think possession is possible, but I think that there is... I mean, BB's even kind of... You just said it. It's kind of a cute name. So there's this little, like, oh, BB. You can kind of see there was something there. And now I would argue Benjamin Netanyahu is... the most infected person on Earth. He's the most infected person on Earth. He's the sickest, the sickest person on Earth. And the bottom there is good. What about Elon? Alien. Straight up, that is an alien. And I think you know he's an alien because of how obsessed he is with going to space. He wants to go home. So Elon's like, guys, can I go home? And everyone's like, dude, you're kind of crazy. And he's like, I'm going to take over the entire government just to go home. I mean, Elon is like an E.T. story. He basically just wants to be with his family on Mars. And I wish that everyone could see that. Like, that's actually what's happening.
Andrew Kuo 3:45
So you feel bad for him, that he's essentially an American human refugee on Earth.
Ramy Youssef 3:50
I mean, dude, I am from New Jersey, and there are so many things I've done to go back to Jersey. And you'd be like, dude, you're in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. Why do you want to go back to Jersey? It's my home, right? So Elon is here, he's got all the spoils and the riches of Earth, and all he's talking about is Mars. Yeah. It's where he's from. He wants to go home.

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